Or a light hearted look at post op issues:
1. You will pee for England (or insert your country here) for at least a week. Be prepared cos you just won’t be able to control yourself. If you don’t have a loo near your bedroom, invest in a bucket and pretend you’re glamping.
2. You will only have the attention span of a gnat. If you had planned on catching up on reading and/or all those box sets, forget it. As soon as you start concentrating on that book or the first episode of the box set, you will be asleep.
3. Be prepared to fall asleep at any point during the day. At night you won’t be able to get to sleep at all.
4. Get used to the fact that you’ll have to (not) sleep on your back. I know very few people who actually sleep on their back by choice. It is a really uncomfortable position and will result in getting backache after a few hours.
5. Make sure you have short toenails, especially on the big toes as the pressure from any bedclothes will hurt toes and your heels.
6. Compression socks – so sexy and comfortable – not. They are an essential fashion accessory for 6 weeks for all hippies. Surely they must be classified as a form of torture!
7. Your operated leg will feel like it weighs a ton for the first week. It also feels like it doesn’t belong to you. It will get better.
8. Don’t tell your spouse/family/friends about your op in detail. They really aren’t that interested and it would be nice if family/friends visited more than once. Best to just post on to this forum.
9. Don’t believe the adverts – pre-prepared meals are terrible. The actual contents have only a passing semblance to the packet photo. The ingredients used are usually the cheapest the manufacture can get away with. To add insult to injury the portion size is for a child.
10. Any chocolates/sweets/puddings eaten during your recovery period are deemed to be non-fattening – and don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.
Feel free to add to the list
Lol! That's great Chloe, sums it up to a tee! You missed one crucial bit of info though that's soooooooooo important that relates to number 10 - any chocolates/sweets/puddings consumed between 5am & midnight have zero calories as they're made from fresh air!
Oh you're so right. How could I have forgotten that crucial piece of information.
I've forgotten a point.
11. Do not sneeze or cough. It will hurt. Your friends and family will think you're being completely pathetic for complaining, only other hippies will understand.
Love these. Very funny. Could add something about constipation because that always seems to be a big topic!
Fantastic sums it up nicely.
12. Bio-oil is the future for itchy scar.
13. Be prepared for a swollen ankle/foot.
14. People always saying Ohhh you're too young for a hip replacement what did you do that for??? I'm 39 and was in agony prior to my replacement 7 weeks ago today. Had an horrendous limp and constant pain but now feel like a new woman X
Constipation, of course, how could we forget that! That pain is worse than the op itself! Without being too graphic I could have pushed 20 babies out (I haven't got any kids so I've just made this up but that's what it felt like)! X
What about sweating buckets every night and feeling like a wrung out rag in the morning.
Look like a nerd as Wear one slipper to even out height discrepancy resulting from surgery.Kids keep offering to get my other slipper😊
LOL. You're right, Fernlady. I did have two kids and I can tell you that this current pushing hurt more than pushing out my second child! LOL
I bought some Bio-oil pre-surgery -- found it at Costco. Glad to hear it does work. I have my staples taken out this week so then I guess I'll have to ask how much longer til I can use the Bio-oil.
Oh, that sounds awful Gwen. Something I didn't have. I am long past menopause -- maybe it was some menopausal symptoms for you? PLus I guess surgeries in general can cause that. Hope it doesn't last long!
Funny! Here's one to add.
Be prepared for hurting in your other leg and both arms as they have to work harder to move your body around during the initial weakness in your surgical leg. In fact, be prepared to hurt all over and never be comfortable for about a month.
Had a great laugh at your list - and SO RIGHT !
The recovery time isn't 12 weeks, it's at least 6 months to a year for most.
On the Bio oil massaging of the scar, I was told to ease up on it by my physio at 6 months.
Graham
Oh no Leslie, not menopause unfortunately, I'm well past that! Similar symptoms though and I just thought it was something to do with the whole situation.
Probably just me 😕xx
I agree, I'm 6 months now and although I walk everyday and am more and more active, my legs ache horribly after any extra physical exercise e.g. gardening.
absolutely gwen, and for quite a while. ...I am so post menopause during which I never had them. ...
had to change sleep shirts up to 3 times a night. ...
definitely ad to list ...
big warm hug
Renee 💙 💚
I had that, so it's nothing to do with menopause.
According to Rose (see my website) .... Our immune system is in overdrive to protect us from infection, it is responding to a large injury to our body, and it does not understand the injury was intentional. Night sweats are a sign of a highly functioning and healthy immune system.
Graham
Thank you for that - something works well at least!
Amazing how many of these things we can all agree on. Pre op ppl take note. On the good side it doesn't last long to get over the worst of it.
Brenda xx