I'm 18 and i used to think i was happy, had a decent amount of friends but when my brother passed away a 5 months ago, all of my 'friends' gave up on me.. they stopped talking to me, stopped replying to me and now i have no one. I was too depressed to return to college and now i only leave the house to walk the dog. I have next to no qualifications as well as no one in my life who lives in same country. My life is just going no where and have no options
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and I am sure that many of your friends feel the same but some people find it very hard to know what to say to someone who has lost a close friend or relative. They deal with this by staying away, thinking that if they're not there they can't say anything that may upset you. Five months isn't very long when you've lost someone. My mother died from dementia and it was two years before I could look at a photograplh of her and recognise the woman she used to be rather than what she looked like when she died. It will take time for you to start to lead a normal life again but you have to do something other than just walk your dog. Why don't you ask yourself how your brother would feel if he knew that you were shutting yourself away from your friends and your college work because he's not there anymore? Would he be upset that you have put your life on hold because he's gone? Maybe you feel guilty that if you do something that you enjoy or appear to be getting on with your life that you are being unkind to his memory? I know that after my parents died and I found myself laughing at something I would then immediately feel guilty because it didn't seem right that I was enjoying myself but I know that both of them would have been mortified if they had known that I felt like that. Can you use these thoughts to help get yourself back on track so that you enjoy life again and make something of yourself in memory of your brother rather than shutting yourself away which is of no good to you and if your brother was around would have made him very unhappy. I hope you can soon feel able to face the world again and make your brother and family very proud of your future achievements.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't believe the way your friends have done you when you need them the most. Can you try to find some grief counseling? Or a group for grief that will understand, and maybe you can make some new friends there? Church is also a good place to meet people that will be there for you. I know you probably feel like your world has turned upside down. That is understandable. Have you gone to a doctor for depression? It might take some medicine to get you through this tough time. My heart breaks for you. Any time you need to talk, there are people in this group that are willing.
Hi joe. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my big brother when I was 22 and experienced the same. I shut myself away for weeks. I agree with your last reply about friends not knowing what to say. I went back to college though it was really really hard as I was so sensitive and tearful all the time. I'm glad I did though as it gave me something to focus on. I think you should think about seeing a counsellor who will help you deal with your feelings and sensitivity. Google Talking Therapies and you will find someone locally. You can do this without a doctors referral though your doctor will help you with this. I really hope this helps and my heart goes out to you...