Where do I start

Treatment and medication
1

Been on 15mg Mirt now for nearly two weeks, off 20mg Cit for 3 weeks. Meeting with CPN this morning felt very relaxed quite chilled out even though I didn't get to sleep until 1.30 and woke at 7.So CPN under the impression I'm am doing ok. Well after a few hours at work started getting up tight, angry short tempered with customers. Took some time out as i was going to smash my computeror a customer. Sitting on the floor crying, thinking of just walking out and never return, not the answer, wanting to hurt myself because I shouldn't walk out not the answer either. CPN had left work as works part time so couldn't talk to her. Managed somehow to finish the day, home cried and cried, started cutting my arm, very agitated, thinking of lining up a load of pills and taking them, not the answer. ended up eating ice cream, hope I don't get too fat. I have now taken 5mg of diazepam around 8.30 due to take mirt at around 9.30 hope I sleep. Not sure what I want anymore, just thought it would help to type this down.

Thanks for reading if anyone does

Tina 

2

Sorry you're struggling, lovely! I really hope you're feeling a bit better today. If not, I would go back to the doctor and tell them how you are feeling because oftentimes, starting new medication can make your mood ten times worse before it makes it better. Sending lots of love.

3

Hi Tina, so so sorry to hear you're feeling this way, please please go back to GP & explain how you're feeling, if eating ice cream instead of self harming works for you then eat all the ice cream you can & don't worry about weightgain, I so know it's easier said than done, My lovely, all I can say is there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how far away it seems, I've been in your position & know exactly how you're feeling, please contact your GP asap & please keep in contact, lots of love & best wishes xxx

4

Thank you both, I have had a very restful sleep even though still dreamt. So better see what today can throw at me. Appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow, possible dose increase reading what other people have been through on 30mg doesn't look good. Got to keep going but it is so difficult. Thanks again.