hi ive always been a very confident outspoken person that you couldnt embarress if u set it as your lifetime goal... but going back a few months ago i became deppressed and as my partner was suffering post natal deppression i felt i couldnt admit to it or speak up as i needed to be the rock for her and our four children.. 3-4 mnths ago i faced the dr and told him what i was hiding from every1 else.. i was put on meds and was slowly bearing into them. then around 6 weeks ago my partner reveiled she no longer felt anything for our relationship and we split.. i left our home to save any upset to the children and since have been sofa surfing.. things werent good and everynite when i was trying to shut off to get sum sleep my mind come alive. and i i cud see no way fwd.. i dint want to be here... but the thort of my children meant i couldnt even do anything about that, thank god... anyhow im under the phsyciatrist now and new meds and im determined to get back to myself... only problem is MYSELF was confident, outgoing and had no problem saying wat i wanted to say to any1 at all.. how do i get bk there? im also very keen on a girl i have known for years who is now single has children and ive always quite liked.. i dnt feel ready for a relationship atm but then i cant help thinking if i dnt say summin soon then i may not get the chance... but since losing my confidence i cant even bring myself to say anything anyway... shid i say something, shud i wait till i feel ready for a relationship and will i eva get enuf confidence back to say something anyway??? ...
So sorry about all you are going through. I wouldn't try and rush things with this girl. I would attempt to just become close friends with her. Offer to take her out on a friends basis. Don't make any romantic moves until the time feels right. When I was single, the worst thing for me was men going too fast. I much prefered to be friends for a while first. It takes the pressure off both of you.
Goodmorning to you Shaun,
I too am very sorry to see you in this situaton.
Like Evergreen I would have to suggest you do nothing at all in the romantic sense with this Lady.
By all means ask her out ,and make it clear you would like to be friends with her ,see how she reacts to this ,if she agrees to being taken out by you ,then follow it through (AS FRIENDS).
You will then find out quite soon if there is anything further to become of your friendship .Also your confidence will then come back to you ,even if you remain simply as friends ,I wish you all the best of good luck Shaun
Take Care
millyim1322
Hi Shuan
You've been through a very tough time and you are being particularly, but unnecessarily hard on yourself. You can't expect your self confidence to magically come back just like that. As for another relationship it may be just a little bit soon' you need to build up your confidence a bit because if it goes wrong it will have been like climbing a slippery ladder two steps up and four steps back! You say yourself you aren't ready for a relationship yet but lots of relationships stem from friendship, so why not try and be brave and contact this girl and just ask her out for a coffee and see how things go. If you don't have the courage to approach her but know where she lives put a note through the door or send her a card. She maybe surprised but pleased to hear from you but don't be disappointed if she's not. You don't say how long she's been single and it maybe as difficult for her as it is for you. Do things slowly and slowly but surely your confidence will come back..honestly.