Hi, The last two years have been a rollercoaster for me (emotionally). The last 6 months have probably been the worst. I've have suicidal thoughts, most nights...but never during the day. I feel like I am a failure, and I will end up alone for the rest of my life. I have become really self conscious. I feel really uncomfortable when talking to a new group of people, or I see a girl I find attractive. I've always been shy around girls, but never around new people. I used to make friends easily...but now I'm the complete opposite.
I feel like everyone is looking at me. I've caught a few people doing it, and this makes me even more paranoid. I'm tall (6ft 4) so I know that draw attention...but it's like people look at me in disgust. I try to not let it bother me, but s sometimes it keeps me awake at night.
I always feel really self conscious when I'm around a girl I like. For example; I was at a party yesterday ( I didn't want to go, I was dragged out) and I saw someone I like, she noticed me looking at her, and she smiled. After a while I noticed her looking at me, not like the people in the street.. but like she wanted to talk to me. Suddenly I started to panic.. I ran to the bathroom, and after a while I calmed down. I felt so embarrassed that I sat by myself for the ray of the night...trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone.
Does this happen to anyone else? Or does anyone have any advice on how to overcome it?? I kniw I've been told to "just grow a pair" but if there's anything more helpful, it would be much appreciated.
Thanks, Jack
Sorry...it's supposed to say Self Conscious as the heading
Hi. Yes, I have what you've described or something quite similar, and it sounds very much like you're describing social anxiety. Look into that, there's info on the internet. I'm still very much at a stage where I'm trying to work my way through it so I can't tell you what has worked for me, but I will say avoiding eye contact, for the most part, is something I've had to begin doing [unless I'm talking directly to someone] and just training my mind to not think about situations that have troubled me. I think self esteem plays a part in this problem but it's so complicated [the mind] that at the end of the day just not thinking about people [!] or looking at them [!] is...helpful. I wish I had the answers. Therapy. I try to focus on peaceful loving thoughts, spiritual things, and that can help, but I still have a long way to go. Best of luck to you Jack.
Can you talk this out with a therpist? Even you did before, maybe again?
You wont end up alone. But instead of focusing on that stuff you need not to feel alone now, you need you. Before all the social fun stuff you need you.
It is kind of very hard to feel down and anxious and throw on a fake face of being all talkative and fun. Or even flirt. Youre not really in that happy kind of mindset. You can seek out a crush and maybe become friends by just texting ir talking thru a sodial media site you have, start slow and just get to know each other. Yiure hime and in your comfort zone so might be easier. You ask basic simple stuff. What they like to do in their free time. Favorites activities, foods..etc..and just go with the flow of the convo. Just be yourself. You can mention you are shy, nothing wrong with that at all. You can even google questions to ask a girl haha. When you are online tqlking it is easier. Girls are not a different species, so be yourself and dont attach any outcomes to any of it. The right girl will come along at some point where you dont feel shy or uncomfortable. No rush.