I'm in such a funny mood today. Stuck in with the wind blowing round. The trees bowing and rubbish rolling over the road.
I can't do anything. I can't go outside. I don't want to go outside even if I could.
I don't want to do any house work but I don't want to sit around doing nothing.
I don't know what I want!
I feel so useless and lonely.
I have no friends and no one asks how I am.
I having nothing left anymore.
Thought about ending it all but I'm too much of a coward. Wish I was braver.
What a brave person you are to come here and post your true feelings.
I feel just like you feel right now. Go to bed (if you can be bothered) I know somedays I cant even be bothered to do that!
Better still, stick around here and post some more of how you are feeling. Trust me it helps!
Stay strong and brave.
Melbi xxx
really am going to go to sleep now :shock:
I think your very brave too to say exactly how you feel, most of us feel like that but are to scared to say those things.
You will find lots of new friends on here as I have who know exactly how you feel and will help you to get through your day 1 day at a time
Jan x
I thought how I would end it.
Would it be a handful of pills,
a very sharp knife over my wrists,
Or throw myself on a train track.
Decided the best way would be all three.
Take a large handfull of pills, sit on the train track and slice my wrists.
but I'm not brave enough
You know, in the 1930's the people of Kansas were in a bad drought, and the wind blew dust for months and howled its mournful note and got on everybody's nerves. But you have stepped out to post your true feelings, and that is a step in the right direction.
Melbi and I have both been where you are right now, as have many other on this forum. If you had a broken leg, you would have no hesitation about asking for help.
Ask for help to address depression. You may be lonely but you are not useless. Do you remember some good things about when you were a kid? Your grandparents perhaps? A new bike? Remember the good.
Housework can wait. I have trouble deciding what I want, but I have plenty left to do. Is it possible that by posting your true feelings here you could help somebody else, and feel better in yourself?
Good luck. You don't need to be braver, and you're not a coward. It takes courage to fight the demon depression, but you can and will have a better life if you find caring professional help, and understand that there are hundreds of us subscribed to this site, all suffering with depression. Good luck with it. Don't give up!
Well you can't end it all now as the 4 of us will be so upset and will miss you.
As the others have said it's very brave of you to come here and tell others how you feel.
Go to bed and let the feelings wash over you. When you come out the other end you'll feel stronger for not allowing it to beat you.
Good luck, HUGE HUGS, and come back and tell us how you're doing.
A few years ago a lady I knew threw herself in front of a train. Last I heard the train driver was on a TPI pension because he could not face the thought of killing another person.
No matter how dark it gets, where there's life there's hope. I hope sincerely that you do not attempt this, because you matter! The world owes you nothing, but that does not mean you can take nothing or give nothing.
Please seek professional help. Do you have LifeLine in the UK? If not, imagine finding a caring professional who could sit and listen to your story and provide some constructive advice to help you through this dark period.
Please don't succumb to this desire to hurt yourself. Come back to the world, post your feelings here, know that there are hundreds of us who have suffered with depression and while wehave not actually beaten it, and while we still have a bad day or two or three, Life IS worth living.
THere are many caring people who can help. Please seek help. It's worth it. xxx
[quote:9a057a398e=\"Lonely and useless\"]I thought how I would end it.
Would it be a handful of pills,
a very sharp knife over my wrists,
Or throw myself on a train track.
Decided the best way would be all three.
Take a large handfull of pills, sit on the train track and slice my wrists.
but I'm not brave enough
Would your family and friends be brave enough to cope with your loss? Would they be brave enough to live with the guilt it would leave them feeling?
Would you not like to stick around and see what life is like when you are feeling better?
You can't go killing yourself then change your mind and come back. It would be so final and the devastation you would have left behind you, you wouldnt want people who care about you to feel how you are feeling now would you?
Keep posting here.
Love
Melbi xx
I don't have any family or friends.
I do understand about the train driver and I won't do that.
I've hurt so many people in my life and so many people hate me now.
I can be away from work for 6 months and no one contact me.
I could rot on my bed and no one would notice.
my doctor hand out the pills but don't talk to me about how I feel.
I could talk to a stranger for an hour each week but they only do that cause they get paid for it.
Don't know what to do.
Maybe I should go to sleep
Thank you everyone for your kind words.
I wish I could be nice to people and support them but I'm so selfcentred I forget to ask.
Bravey has nothing to do with it!
Those that have ended it have probably done so as they had no choice.
You obviously have a choice otherwise you wouldnt even think about being too scared to do it. What you really mean is you are too scared to kill yourself because really you want to live ~ really you want someone to listen tou you ~ really you just want to feel better ~ really you are so confused with your feelings ~ really you cannot find the answers or the cure to make you better.
No - it doesn't take bravery to kill yourself ~ it takes bravery to carry on fighting.
May all those who have suffered depression and ended their lives RIP.
They left a lot of broken hearts behind ~ they could see no way out ~ but they also probably never even told anyone how they were feeling ~ not really feeling.
You have to open up and share your darkest fears, your true feelings no matter how crazy they sound to you, they are very real feelings and unless you share them with someone how can that someone truly help you?
Stop the self pity lonely & useless :oops: we all do it, are all guilty of it ~ not just you.
Now a few slow deep breathes then I want to see a post of yours on the thread named It can only get worse!
Go on off you go ~ move your ass lol and dont look back ~ you have made your first step by posting on here.
Love
Melbi xxx
Lonely - you no longer are WE ARE ALL HERE! All of us have been where you are now, that's the trouble with depression - it runs deep & silent for some more deeper than others. Hang on in there, post your feelings, talk about anything you like, but keep visiting here. You will get support, kindness & true friendship. Make an emergency appointment to see your Dr or visit your A&E dept, you must not give in to self harm.
Sending you best wishes, support & the offer of friendship............
Nicky Jane x
[quote:98737c2636=\"lonely and useless\"]I don't have any family or friends.
I do understand about the train driver and I won't do that.
I've hurt so many people in my life and so many people hate me now.
I can be away from work for 6 months and no one contact me.
I could rot on my bed and no one would notice.
my doctor hand out the pills but don't talk to me about how I feel.
I could talk to a stranger for an hour each week but they only do that cause they get paid for it.
Don't know what to do.
Maybe I should go to sleep
Thank you everyone for your kind words.
I wish I could be nice to people and support them but I'm so selfcentred I forget to ask.
You have many friends here who dont expect you to ask how they are, they just want you to be okay so drop that no friends business right now lol.
You talking to a stranger because they get paid to do it? Bobblecocks! They chose to do that job - end of!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter is at college right now studying in the hope to one day becone a psychologist, she could have chosen any career but she wants to do that because she cares about people.
Now consider yourself told off by auntie Melbi - go and have a sleep then come back here and post some more about you.
love
Melbi xxx
I'm going to have a sleep and hopefully wake up in a better mood.
I won't do anything to harm myself and it may be do to lack of sunlight and warmth. I
Thank you again fo ryour kind words
night x
Dont forget to come back here after your sleep.
Hope you feel better later.
Stay strong
Melbi xxx
[quote:7c65d3216b=\"lonely and useless\"]
....I can be away from work for 6 months and no one contact me....
I've been off work since May 2007. No one's contacted me, I had no birthday cards or Christmas cards. But I don't let it get me down. Life's to precious to worry about things like that.
Some of the people here who have shown concern for you also have really bad times/days when they too need our support. Sometime soon you'll feel like helping them when they have a bad day.
Come back when you've had a sleep and let us know how you're feeling. You now have friends who care about you and show an interest (and understand) how you feel.
Hugs
Hi lonely. I hope you get at least some restful sleep. This can be elusive, but at some point you will get some rest and it's amazing how good you feel waking up and stretching and yawning and realising \"My God, is that the time?\" This happened to me once about a hundred years ago. (Just joking!)
I would like to ask you if you would consider posting under a different pseudonym. We all feel lonely at times, but you are NOT useless. May I suggest \"Sleepless\"?
We are all genuinely concerned for you and relieved that you have resolved not to harm yourself. Perhaps you could visit the chatroom and just listen in for a bit, or join the chat. Dealing with depression is like boxing with a cloud. It is very difficult. But you have stumbled into a truly caring community and we have all had our good and bad days. If you continue to be honest on this forum I believe the love that circulates here will help the healing process. Please take care of you. xxx