Will this feeling ever leave?:(

Mental health
1

Hello, I'm a 16 year old female and I've just started college.

I've suffered from depression a few times before, mostly when I come off school and it lasts for about a week. I got out of it fine last time, without seeing anyone or taking medication.

This time it feels a little different. I don't feel as if there's really much hope and I've also felt that I've lost myself. 

I've had it for a week now, and it's affected my ability to talk to people. My mind feels blank, and I literally have to force myself to say something when talking with someone. If I do say something, it comes out awkward and I don't make any sense. 

This really sucks because as I'm back at school now, I want to be able to talk with people normally. I just feel really lonely, and although I do have people I can call friends at school, I don't really connect with them and I can't actually talk with them.

Whatever self-identity I used to have, I felt I've lost. I don't know who I am anymore. I feel completley burned out, if that makes sense. Like my head is just so empty, apart from the constant negative thoughts.

I also feel like I have zero self-worth. I tried to read a book the other day, and I know this is a stupid thing to think, I actually believed as if I wasn't good enough to read it. The author was intelligent and I don't deserve to read his work.

I also wake up feeling horrible. I feel my heart is always beating really fast and I feel really stressed. I can manage to sleep fine however, it's just I wake up and my head doesn't feel normal.

I've been trying to give myself more of a routine; taking the dog for walks, watering the flowers etc.. I've also been trying to learn guitar and I take my bike for a ride every so often. 

Overall, I just feel I've lost my charm, my happiness and my ability to talk with others. I can't even talk with those who are closest to me.

Someone I know says they can get me pot, and I am normally against any drugs but I feel like taking it would make me forget any worries, and would make me more normal, even for a moment. I just feel so desperate.

Has anyone else ever felt anything like this? Is this a normal symptom of depression, to not be able to talk with people anymore. I don't even feel like myself.

Can I ever get through this?

I really appreciate any response <3

2

Oh dear Hello MollyMelancholy, you seem quite clued up on anxiety and depression. Do you do psychology at school? If you do you will realise that as you are only 16 all your hormones are charging around your body getting you ready for the life as an adult. I am not saying that your not an adult yet but it won't be long. Any way when these hormones start charging around you can get depressive symptoms and anxiety. There are a lot of things going on in your life at the moment, back at college and probably doing some new subjects too. I can only understand what you tell me. There must be lots more things going on that you have not told us.

You mention that you have problems speaking to people and things come out wrong or jumbled up, yes? Well this is a classial symptom having poor confidence and there are many thoughts that can help you over come poor confidence Everyone has an inside and an outside, and they're different, You know those people who seem so confident? They're just like you inside but they know a trick- Walk confident, Talk confident and you Become confident. So what you need to do is be yourself and make some small steady changes to let the real you Shine.

To begin with, take a good look at how you present to others and think about:

1. What you wear.

2.How you stand.

3 What you say and how you say it.

You are going to get very observant! Whatch the way confident people stand. It's Straight, isn't it? They often seem a bit taller than they really are. Now pay attention to the way they Hold themselves and move. There's no shuffling about, no slumping or slouching in chairs, no hiding in corners and when they are speeking to you they look you straight in the eye. Now listen to the way they speak. They are pretty loud, aren't they? And they also often speak slowly and not having to rush because they know somehow that everyone will keep on listening.

Your task is to slowly work towards this so people see the real you. Remember, most confident people aren't like that at all the way through, they just know how to act confident on the outside and Molly that is what you will be doing NOW.

Do This Now 

Try to speak a little louder and clearer.

Slow down and pause while speaking.

Sit up straight, Shoulders back.

Walk tall, Keep your chin up.

Make eye contact with others as much as possible, and smile.

Ask questions to get conversations going.

Ask open questions sothat the other person or people have to respond with an answer not just yes or no which is a closed question.

Molly, are you up to the challenge? It sounds a lot to do but to change your thinking and start practicing ways to become a more confident YOU.

Make a list of things you like about you and try to recite this when you feel small. Pick a confident person and observe one of their mannerisms to start with. It will take time and you won't become the life and soul of the party quickly or over night. But it is a way of finding out new ways to act confident but hey Molly do it in your own style. You will be great I know it. Good luck Peter.

 

3

Hey molly, I'm 22 and I suffer from depression and a panic disorder. I have done this all my life and I also used to feel I'm not worthy of things. But as life goes on you realise actually how important you are. It's so important you live your life to make you happy, you can't live trying to please others. It's so unfair to bring yourself down, you are a human and you deserve to be happy, do what makes you happy talking to someone who understands really helps, there are nasty people in the world and there will always be bullies, but a mature mind can turn a blind eye to that, your life is about you so try believing in yourself, listen to great music, see friends and visit amazing places. Life is to short to be anything but happy, if you don't have a hobby, make one... cook, design, draw, sing, dance, along as your happy, x

4

Hey molly, I'm 22 and I suffer from depression and a panic disorder. I have done this all my life and I also used to feel I'm not worthy of things. But as life goes on you realise actually how important you are. It's so important you live your life to make you happy, you can't live trying to please others. It's so unfair to bring yourself down, you are a human and you deserve to be happy, do what makes you happy talking to someone who understands really helps, there are nasty people in the world and there will always be bullies, but a mature mind can turn a blind eye to that, your life is about you so try believing in yourself, listen to great music, see friends and visit amazing places. Life is to short to be anything but happy, if you don't have a hobby, make one... cook, design, draw, sing, dance, along as your happy, x