I'm currently in a job I hate. I don't get on with my manager, the women are so bitchy I feel like I'm back in high school again with a bunch of teenagers.
I can't talk to anyone at work because my manager doesn't have a manager & she is part of the problem so can't talk to her.
It's getting to the point were I'm in tears in the mornings & can't sleep the night before.
I don't want to quit until i find a new job which is my main focus at the minute.
Was meant to go back to work today after having 2 days off but couldn't face it so I text my manager & told her I'm unwell. I'm hoping to get signed off but I don't want everyone at work to know about my depression & nothing is kept confidential in that place.
Really don't know what to do for the best.
Oh yasmine I understand that. My boss was horrid and left me with a terrible choice - watch my dad die from a distance and work or let my health recover and stay with my dad. He forced me to resign on my dad's last birthday. The thing is I liked my job. Are you part of a union, I ask because I was and most young aren't - they're there to support you. If you are talk to them today and find a different job. That's sounds rubbish. Oh and good luck!
Your work have no legal right to know reasons for sickness (do my gp told me...). My gp just wrote infection then as time went on "stress related infection" which I was fine with.
be strong and have faith in yourself. you dont have to tell them that you are undergoing depression. talk to your friends,
you are as capable as anyone else.never underestimate your ability. if tears come, tell yourself that you shall come out victorious! believe that you are going to be a winner.
have a sound sleep, leaving everything to God.
Hi Yasmine,
I can totally empathise with your situation, thankfully, I am almost at the end of a very difficult job phase. A couple of weeks and I move onto new pastures. So the first thing I will say, it is possible to get a new job, however, it is really hard work. The amount of time filling in application forms, research, interview skills etc, but it will be worth it in the end.
With regards to being off sick - do you have a central HR department? If so, I would check your sickness policy at work to see if it is possible to deal directly with them, rather than having to go through your manager (esp if she is part of the problem). The rest of your colleagues are not allowed to know why you are off sick. So unless you have given explicit permission, you should be the subject of office gossip. You may find it helpful to have a look on the ACAS website or if you are in a Union, arrange to talk to your union rep.
Time away from work, could be helpful. It may help you to focus your thoughts and come up with a plan of action? Maybe get your CV upto date, check out recruitment agencies in your local area, have a look at on-line job sites and set up automatic alerts?
Have you considered doing any night classes or voluntary work? In doing so, you will have skills to add to your cv, something else to talk about at interview, and provide a break away from the work environment.
I would also recommend having a chat with your GP to discuss what options and support is available to help you through this difficult time. It may be that he/she suggests some form of counselling, which could also be helpful, in terms of coping strategies,
If you want to have a chat, please feel free to drop me a message.
Take care - Shaz
Thank you so much for your reply. Sorry to hear you went through such an awful time. I will definitely seek some advice before making final decisions x
This is really helpful thank you so much - I will speak to my doctor as I had no ides that was an option. Much appreciated x
Thats so lovely to hear. Thank you for such encouraging words - your advice is greatly apprecited x
Firstly thank you for taking the time to reply - means such alot when I'm feeling as down as I am at the moment.
Unfortunately my manager is the HR manager which is why I feel so stuck!
ACAS are really helpful so will give them a call & see what options I have.
I started CBT again a few weeks ago & has definitely been helping but you're right a break away from work to focus on myself is exactly what I think I need.
Some brilliant suggestions there - starting to feel more at ease knowing I do have options.
I've had a couple interviews I'm waiting to hear back from so hopefully something comes up soon.
Thanks so so much x
Hi how awful. Been there and got the t-shirt etc. I was treated really badly in my last job and was bullied as well. I used to dread going in and often ended up in tears. Unfortunately coz of my age and the lack of other jobs in my area I had to stay there for over 5 years. I had no choice as had to get solvent again. I had to put money before my health. I knew it was killing me but it was Hobsons choice.
However no job is really worth that and it has had a major effect on my depression which is still going on today. So get out while you can is my advice if you do have a choice. It's easer too to get a job whilst in one but difficult when you feel so demoralised. Treat it as a priority though.
Good luck. x
There are some positive things happening for you, which I know, it prob doesn't feel like that. But you are getting job interviews and that is massive these days. You should be so proud of yourself.
As very wise person, who I trust, suggested I read a book called "Touching the Void". And I am almost finished it. The point of the exercise of reading it, was to show me that when something seems so impossible and too much to deal with, by having small goals, you can succeed and survive. I am really bad at catastrophising and i am slowly learning that my world isn't about to end.
If you want to chat just drop me a message.
Shaz x
That is horrible no-one should have to put up with that at work it's not right at all yet it happens so often.
I worry about money so much I think I put my worry of finances over my mental health which I definitely won't do it again. You're right no job is worth your health at all.
I'm glad you're looking after yourself, continue to do so!
Thank you so much x
Yeah you're right I don't see things like that as much of an achievement but it's definitely a step in the right direction so thank you so much for making me realise that!
Sounds exactly like what I need, my therapist has suggested reading so will have a look for that book.
Thank you shaz really do appreciate it
X
Yasmine I know exactly how you feel. It's very hard when you're in a position that is awful! And it's even harder looking for a new job because you know how looking for a job is. It sucks LOL. But what I would say is stick it out and try looking as soon as possible. If your job is causing you that much anxiety it's not worth it