Working in the UK away from home

Other conditions
1

Hi folks, I live in Ireland and have been offered work in the UK after 7 years unemployed, going from coarse to coarse and an internship, which led to a 20 hrs a week, job as a caretaker. Which is better than staying at home, but its not the most fulfilling of jobs, ie, emptying bins, mopping and more bins

I am a carpenter by trade, and have also battled with depression the last 7 years, which I am pleased to say, getting through it now.

My problem is my son (19) is in college, daughter (12) will be starting secondary school, and I will be leaving them for the first time without me being around, and my partner, who thinks I should stay here, will be running things this end.

I have family there, who will put me up, cheaper than renting, there is 2 to 3 months work for me to start straight away, with good money, that's before I start looking for more work, a ready made opportunity which I think is too good to let go, but my partner is not convinced

I should add, both my parents live in the UK and both turn 65 this year, this opportunity will allow me to spend more time with them, other than once or twice a year, we would otherwise. Which after a rough couple of years, would mean a lot to me

What do you think, thanks

2

Hi Nick,

Congratulations on the job situation and winning your continuing battle with depression (I have been unemployed so know what it feels like). I am not a parent but I have a friend in NI who did exactly the same as you - came over to England for a short time to earn some good money to help his young family back home. It worked out well for him. I would say that his wife was happy with the situation - not being without her life partner but making the short-term sacrifice for the long-term gain. However, it isn't right for evryone and you can only do what feels right for you. More time with your folks is obviously weighed against time with your children and partner. The only problem is if it causes tension in your relationship, then the move would not be worth it. Your children are old enough to know what is going on - how do they feel about missing their dad for several months?

I'm sure you will do the right thing and I hope your whole family will support you in your decision. When is the timescale for you to make your final decision?

Wishing you all the best. Please let us know how things work out for you whatever you decide to do.

Digsby

3

Hello Nick.

On the whole I agree with what Digsby has said.

In addition to this I would say that having a family is all about making sacrifices for them for the greater good.

If you were to take the job and things didn't work out for you, then as NI isn't a million miles away, you could always pack-up and go home again with at least the experience and a bit of money under your belt.

The problem with not taking opportunities that are presented to us, is that it is possible to live a life of regret afterwards, which is not a good place to be in.

This is maybe the time to have a heart-to-heart chat with your partner, and explain how you feel, and also if you took the job it would not be a 'for ever' situation, and in any event you could keep regularly in touch with the family by Skype, phone and maybe occasional visits when the opportunities arise.

I wish you lots of luck.

4

Well done on the job Nick!  We're in the UK, my son's a young carpenter and he can't get a job in the local town because Polish people are grabbing most of them so it's too good to waste.

5

Well done you for making the effort to get work. Your partner should understand that you are taking the job for ALL the family. Good luck with it, and well done in your recovery of depression..Have a good day.

6

Thanks guys for the feed back, unfortunately the lack of work here is down to the goverment and the banks, not lending money too home buyers so very little construction work unless your in right place at the right time. There are men in there 50's here who have basic give up, and believe they will never work again, Im 43 and dont want to be one of them, I'v had enough caretaking for now, might come back to it when Im 60.

The job starts mid July, thanks again

7

What you said about people giving up through lack of work reminds me of the Peter Gabriel/Kate Bush song 'Don't Give Up'.