With the only growing and more unbearable amount of stress I've been piling on the past few months, my depression has only started to worsen too.
I'm currently unable to do much about this, I don't have medicine and can't get that or a therapist for that matter, and my family isn't the best for support for this...
I'll often wake up or go through my day with the thought of "I'm going to die today/tomorrow./I'm dying." and it's honestly pretty terrifying after a while. Though with my long-lasting 'bad days/weeks', these thoughts are more prominent and more worrying.
How do you all cope with this, while under immense stress?
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Are you stressed because you are depressed or depressed that your stress is so bad? Find some releases for your stress, like a stretching class or yoga. Eat as healthy as possible and try to accentuate the positives in your life as they happen. Baby steps. Depression and stress can become pain, headaches, sickness, etc., and even if you are financially challenged, there are lots of uplifting, calm,
peaceful places to go to meditate and destress. Do something kind for someone else in need. Laugh with friends or family (or about friends and family!) and get as much human, dog, cat, whatever love you can. Pets can make one feel very supported and loved and causes your body to send out some good feeling hormones...I wish you could afford to see a doc or a therapist but since you cannot, you will not only have to be your own advocate and cheerleader against the depression and stress. Don't expect it to be easy. On the stress end of it, can you make a list, naming each stressor (good or bad) and then start breaking it down into manageable pieces. Conquer one thing at a time to keep from being overwhelmed and celebrate when you accomplish anything that was stressful. Be gentle and loving to yourself. Journal. I have for many years and when I go back 25 years and read what I was going thru, I am amazed I am still alive! And that, plus now having a great, albeit quiet, life, makes everything I went thru and learned during all my busy, crazy (really), illness plagued life has all been worth it. I now consider myself as unflappable and wise with an abundance of patience, which makes me a happy, loving spouse, sister, wife, daughter, aunt and cousin. I am grateful for all good and (eventually) the bad! I love to learn and teach. All these things keep me undepressed and unstressed. I hope one thing I said resonates with you and provides you a step towards peace.
my goodness, i totally understand how you feel about your family not being the best support for you in this situation. truly, i've been in treatment and on meds for the past 30 years. my family is still waiting for me to come home one day, "cured." cured!? what on earth! wtf!!? let me calm down here for a moment -_-
i am working with what i've got. i am alive and want to help myself and others. i am responding to you with care and concern. sometimes you get more love and help from strangers. i find that here. i've been here for just a few short weeks, and my mood is a tiny bit better. i'll take that!!!! i'll take anything that brings me to a higher level of comfort.
this place can be a beginning for you. what ever it takes. but for me, eventually i needed professional help. my family did not encourage me in the least. they were too busy making sure that we looked good in the nieghborhood. that made recovery so much harder. i begged my sister to help me. and back then, she did help. we found a therapist, and she drove me to him once a week, for a year. that was my "beginning."
at this point in my life, i still have the scariest thoughts. i have frightening visuals of myself or loved ones being hurt in the worst way. i have been taught that these fears come around when i am under great stress. so my counselor and i try to find what is this stress?....whats it coming from? and then we work on that issue, and the violent thoughts subside.
i wish i had all the answers for you. maybe you'll find some here. for now, until you see a professional, keep sharing your thoughts. its one of the best ways to get some of that stress out of you. best wishes to you. i hope you'll feel better soon! xo