Hi, found this forum and have seen a lot of helpful people. Hoping for some advice or perhaps just reassurance it will get better.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life. Been on zoloft and citalopram before. Zoloft back when I was very young. Didnt stick with it did to cost and the frequent need to go back for checkups. Stopped cold turkey no problem though I don't think I took it very long or had very high dose. Citalopram I stopped due to excessive grinding and just tense feeling. Anyway that I also stopped cold turkey after a few months.
Fast forward a decade or so and I decided to give zoloft another try. With a family and kid, I really wanted to try my best to tackle my depression and anxiety. I struggled with suicidal thoughts most my life but strangely was kept from taking action by guilt of all things. My parents suffered true hardships in their lives and worked hard to come to America and provide my sister and I great opportunities they never had. How could I pay them back by taking my own life. That thought kept me alive but their inability to understand why I felt depressed given what they considered a fast better life than what they had made discussing it with them a futile endeavor. Guilt still kept me from taking my life as a father and husband. Couldn't do that to the ones i cherished so deeply. Wanted to be there for them, to care and provide. While not wanting to let them down kept me alive I believe, I was never truly happy. I wanted to change that after decades of battling depression on my own. So back on zoloft I went.
I do apologize for the tangent of why I came here. For some reason felt the need to open up. In any case, to why I am here. I have been on zoloft for 6 months now. Only 50mg, but it had honestly made a world of difference. Anxiety was at a minimum and depression was much more controlled. Side effects however were different matter. Frequent stomach problems and weight gain just left me feeling awful physically. I wasnt depressed, but I wasnt happy. So I wanted to quit and try now natural means of managing my problems.
Originally I wanted to taper. Went to 25mg for a few days but the withdrawal was surprisingly bad physically. Lot of stomach discomfort. I figured if tapering was going to suck, why make it longer than needed so I made what might have been a mistake. Stopped cold turkey. I had done it in the past so assumed it would be fine. For few days it was. But then I started feeling dizzy at work one day. Good worse next day. Then stated getting stomach discomfort and nausea with brain zaps in following days. Luckily I guess I haven't had any psychological withdrawal like anxiety or uncontrollable depression but the physical has kept me from doing much. Luckily I have been able to work from home as my job revolves being on a computer most of the day but I have been stuck at home and in bed unable to eat much for a week now.
All in all the first week started tolerable and got really bad. Second week coming to an end and dizziness is less severe but stomach problems seem to be getting worse. Feeling like it's never going to get better though I'm sure it will.
Any one have thoughts on how long before it gets better for the physical side effects to subside. I don't want to go back on the meds and feel I've gone to far to give in now to them again. Just want to be off the meds. My wife planned a vacation for me and my son end of April. First one I'll have taken in forever it feels. Anxiety really made vacations feel more like torture. Was hoping id be free from the meds impact on me by then but reading some of the stories here thinking I might not be.
Any advice on what to do to manage the withdrawal and how near the end I am would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read through a strangers rambling.