Alone time & Anxiety

Mental health
1

Hello everyone.

I would really be interested to know how others deal with their anxiety when they have to be alone.

I know a lot of people prefer to be alone during times of high anxiety, while others (like myself,) just want to be with someone they trust such as family or a loved one.

Even so, we all have days when we have to be alone.

I find myself not being able to sit still or to relax...I also notice that my anxiety over my health is worse as I find myself focusing on it a lot more. I find I worry about it more and 'check' things to see if certain symptoms are worse, etc.

I am gettin a little better with all of this...because now when I focus on then I am aware that I am focusing on them and for why...I tell myself anxiety causes all of this, even the checking and especially feeling worse when alone.

I've tried things like hot baths, warm drinks, magazines and books and I put the tv on to something I enjoy watching, even if I'm only half watching it it is company at least.

I get a little frightened when I'm alone. I worry about things happening to those I love when I am away from them. I worry something will happen to me when I'm on my own as well.

I also tend to sit twitching and fidgeting a lot rather than actually relaxing

I would love to hear how others cope and what you do to relieve your anxiety.

2

Hello Sillymop,

I can relate a lot. My anxiety sky rockets when alone. I have a few days alone when my partner is in work (just opposite shift pattern) and although I know that she will be home at 5pm, it still feels like forever when you are an anxious mess.

I am the same though, restlessness, can't sit still or relax, pace around the living room etc etc. I can get bored of everything in the house in under 5 mins and think "now what?!" and yes I do twitch on the couch. My partner actually got me an anxiety toy off Amazon because she was fed up of me twitching haha.

I cope by getting a routine on the go I suppose. I find if I have no plans, I am 10 times worse and check in on myself every 5 seconds - "Am I as dizzy today" etc. We don't have children, family or friends close by, so it does feel lonely sometimes.

I make an effort to go the gym (no matter how tired or bad my anxiety is), I can work through the panic state and normally feel better for it afterwards.

Try and walk around the block, park, shops, cycle or anything just to get out the house and break up the day - You don't have to have a purpose or spend money. Just wonder around listening to music

I tend to find that if I stay in the house, then my anxiety is worse the next time I go out.

On the days where I really don't want to go out, I find hobbies to keep my mind busy. Recently I have started doing a few courses on Udemy as well. They are cheap and substantial so if you can motivate yourself, it's a great distraction no matter how pointless the course is.

Took up an instrument as well. Just as a calming thing really and distraction. I sound terrible, but no one can hear so that's not a problem haha

It is hard though and relaxing is a major thing to work on. I tend to run around 100mph till I wear myself out!

Best advice I can give is everytime you catch yourself checking in on your symptoms, have something to change the thoughtprocess to.

Keep some background noise on to calm the senses and try aromatherapy to help relax your body. Lavander essence oil is so calming for anxiety.

Hope any of this helps.

 

3

Hello Thomas! I am so pleased that you replied to me. I remember your posts and while you still may be struggling with anxiety, you sound as if things are improving for you. I'm really glad

It sounds like we have a lot in common actually. It resonated with me when you put "do I feel as dizzy today?" - this is my mindset every single day, every single second.

I seem to get such awful pressure on the top of my head and in my eyes, now. I genuinely believe that I am causing this by holding myself somewhere in some rigid way...it feels like a muscle almost that needs to be relaxed and it would go away.

It is worse when anxious or when talking about it... It gets to me when I'm alone as it makes me focus on it more and my eyes then begin to feel stiff, my vision feels slightly surreal (I am not seeing things.) it's a little like having terrible sinus (which I may also have as I have been having a lot of trouble with my inner ears.)

Another thing that you said which resonated with me was the mention of taking a walk. I think it was more my reaction to your suggestion, rather than the suggestion itself. I feel very vulnerable and if I was honest, I get frightened of going out alone in a way I can't really describe...

This isn't too new for me as I've always had this on some level...but when I did venture out I would get some pleasure from it. Now all I want to do is get home as fast as I can.

I don't know why I feel so vulnerable. It almost boarders on feeling unsafe.

I've not had a bad experience whilst being out alone, either and so the only thing I can equate it to is the stress that I've gone through this year.

I feel vulnerable all the time and frightened of what could/might happen to both myself and those I care for...I can't relax really.

Thank you for posting because it made me acknowledge a few things. I just need to work on breaking through

4

Hello again

I have been up and down like a yo-yo to be honest. Some days better than others. Work has been difficult this week, just trying to stay composed is hard in itself.

You sound like you have every symptom I complain about!

The head pressure is awful, it's basically muslce tension from your neck and shoulder's causing it. I also get leg tension, it's so painful some mornings I can hardly walk!. It's like my legs can't bend properly. The tenson headaches last all day and night and they are exhausting. I also can't focus on my monitor properly in work which triggers my Anxiety moreso.

The doctor perscribed ampatripaline 10mg at night for the headaches and muscle relaxant qualities and that has been briliant. I am tired on it, but not drained tired as in what anxiety causes. Headaches have calmed down to.

As for the walking, I know what you mean. It took me a while to sick to a set route and I really had to challange myself. I am the same, no past experience, no issues, just rushed to get home as fast as possible and often get annoyed or upset because I say to myself "What was that all about?!"

I guess it's just because our bodies are hypersensitive at the moment and it's the flight or fight mode kicking in. When out and about we naturally tense up and pick up on every sight, sound, noise, smell. It's often what disorientates me and sends me panicking a bit.

Have you tried any medication to help control the anxiety yet?

 

5

amitriptyline*

I would look into it. It has helped me with sleep quality, muscle tension, headaches, restless legs at night,TMJ (grinding your teeth at night) and generally relaxing in the evening. It's heavily sedating. I just find being more relaxed and having better sleep helps your body recover a bit more from the panic state it's been in all day! You can feel the difference the next day!

6

Being alone is a beast at times. Try to keep busy. I have a dog, pets are good. Dogs tend to be more comforting as they cuddle and are protective. I plan these days or nights out. I play ebooks on audio, do mediations..etc..the enooks are comforting when in the audio version. If its daytime ill sit outside or play with my dog outside. The night time is more meditations and this forum if needed. 

If available call a friend to visit with you. Tv doesnt do anything much for me. 

You are not really "alone" because you are a phone call away from help if really ever needed. Thats important to seriously understand. 

Anxiety disorders make a person vulnerable and childlike really. Co dependency is very common when a person feels vulnerable, its a false sense of security anyway. Nothing is going to happen to you and not all the company you keep even can relate to anxiety. 

7

That sounds like a big improvement for you and to be able to see a break through with the headaches must make you feel much more relaxed and less worried.

When you say it is caused my shoulders and neck, would it be possible to have head pressure without pains around my neck and shoulders? I do definitely hold myself rigid but currently my body doesn't she (aside from my legs sometimes,)

I notice my vision is effected by my anxiety which is really hard to deal with. I had a phone call this morning which was a little stressful. I felt more pressure in my eyes and felt a little more woozy headed, things appeared to be slightly moving.

Once I calmed down this went away - but then I begin checking to see if it is still gone. And then the anxiety can come back over concerns for myself.

I would love to be able to put down all the things that have and are happening to me at the moment, but I am always frightened that someone who knows me may see my post and put two and two together. I have a fear of people who know me discovering my anxiety and then thinking I am completely insane.

I don't know why. I often fear losing my job because of it, or because my anxiety may render me entirely incapable.

Everything seems to raise my anxiety levels currently. I am hoping that soon a few things in my life will be resolved and another hurdle will be passed.

I used to be on anxiety medication, yes. I came off it a few years ago and I have no intention on going back just yet... One of my plans is too start a family and the risks of carrying a child whilst on any SSRI for me is too high...I couldn't bear my child to have debilitating physical issues because of me. This is why I came off them.

8

I'm very co dependant... To a fault to be honest

I have a pet who is great company but I still feel funny about being alone. This usually lasts for the morning...I find mornings terribly difficult. Once the day goes on I feel a bit better and then I feel that I do t want to go out. I want to hide away inside.

9

It has been an improvement but it sounds like we both need to find what works for us.

I haven't found a way of overcoming the vision problem yet. I wear glasses and have had numerous checkups just incase. The only thing I can recommend is to just keep using eye drops. Look after your eyes while they are straining.

yeah I got that in work. I opened up to tell my manager (robotic as anything he is) I couldn't cope on the 12 hour days (after a lot of trying / bottling it up). Next thing everyone knew and people thought it was me making it up just for extra sick days or time off! Had a lot of cheap digs for a long time etc but you find out who you're friends are. Some of my colleagues had their suspicions and have actually got quite good at spotting when I am "not right" which helps.

Seriously I think it would be easier sometimes if I could swap for a broken leg or something visible - touch wood that doesn't happen!

I can see why you wouldn't want to try an SSRI, they do have a crazy amount of side effects. It's just a case of finding what works I suppose now. We can just keep trying new things and see how we feel really.

10

To be honest I have been off medication for so long now that I'm scared of going back onto it and I'm not really sure why. When I was first put on medication it was sold to me as some kind of wonder drug: that I could do anything on it and with no repercussions. As time went on more and more cases were flagged up of mothers who were on the same medication as I was; giving birth to babies with heart conditions. Now these conditions have been directly linked to that medication.

Eye drops sound like a good idea. I first went to my opticians because I was convinced that I had a brain tumour. I went multiple times to my GP who tried to assure me it was a combination of my anxiety and eat problems, but I couldn't be calmed down and didn't believe him. So I went to the opticians as I heard they can sometimes pick up on these things. They found nothing wrong.

As my anxiety progressed (I still could t get over my obsession,) I began to have what I felt were more floaters than I usually had. So I went back again. This time they dilated my pupils and gave me a thorough check. I was told again that I was fine. This was only a month or so ago, now.

I started to take a nasal spray which did help...then I picked up a cold and it all seemed to get worse. At this point my eyes felt funny. Jumpy vision, things seemed to vibrate etc, so I spoke with my doctor who told me to stop the nasal spray.

It did get better but something that lets me know it is anxiety is that my symptoms are constantly changing. It seems to became a variation of the original issue and just when I get over one thing, something else begins. A different sensation, head pressure, funny eyes etc etc.

Since I've been seeking therapy, I've been tackling things directly and this has made a real change to my symptoms which is what I mean when I say they change and vary.

11

Hello

I used to be a real pain and would be really jumpy and annoyed, I would be a pain with my GP

I went through a period of Anxiety several months ago and I was at the Surgery at least once a month, I was given tests and a talking to and evntually I calmed down again and now I have become more calm and trusting of my GPs treatment pathways, with me it was unfortunate as I had moved to a different practice and it can take me time to trust somone new in my life. They know what unsettles me and now those things are placed in the background.

In my case my greatest fear is the Dentist and I can wait for nine moths to get an appointment to have treatment. They have to bang me out, before they start any treatment, most of the time the treatment would not be a problem for a normal person. In my case it can be possibly dangerous. as I am sedated or put to sleep.

My anxiety was a result of been brutalised and it is a real problem in my case. Even as a Pensioner.

12

Dont hide away. Worst thing to do. Even if you go and sit outside. Fresh air is a great helper. The whole agoraphobia and codependency things adds a thick layer over an anxiety disorder and present so many complications. I totally understand the alone fear thing, absolutely but what i have found in my experience is you can not accept certain things as okay. I had an issue with getting dizzy in the shower for a bit and i love showers. I was doing the five minute and under version and drew the line in the sand. Surprinsingly it went away. Nothing lasts without fear.no fear ..no problem. Rememeber that, we all keep assuming we have zero control and that is so far away from the truth of all this. You must relove yourself and trust yourself and trust lifes processes to forge through all this. Pick a project and do it. Worst scaenario you end up with an emaculate  home haha. But keep very busy. I do know what you mean though, i really do. Usually when i feel ill this creeps in.

13

Thank you, Lisa. Being ill really does heighten anxiety. I think it's always had this effect in me - but the anxiety was never health anxiety. Every little thing I get now worries me. I was quite care free about myself, I have now realised, ten or so months ago (and I'm not care free about much!!)

Yes I am keeping busy I had a lot to do at the moment so I try to submerge myself in that - but sometimes the pressure in my head and eyes can hinder me. The woozyness seems better though...as one thing goes another thing comes.

I try not to say to myself that I wish it would stop and for me to go back to normal, I felt this was a pointless task...and probably hindered my recovery more than anything. But today was hard...I do wish I were more myself.

14

Hello borderriever thank you for responding. Ah the dentist...another thing that panicks me! The X Ray's...I just fear them for all manner of reasons.

I think most dentists are quick cold and clinical..which for anxiety sufferers can be anxiety provoking.

I am sorry you have a painful past...it doesn't matter what your age is, some things are inescapable...but we can try and grow and heal and know that we are the best we can be now thanks to the worst of things that we once had to live through... That's what I tell myself x

15

We are what people make us sad to say

With my childhood I felt  all the errors and fears of past generations where past down to future generations.

B.

16

Hi SILLymop, I'm experiencing high anxiety at the moment and also my anxiety over my health is worse as I am also fixating on my symptoms and it's making me worse..

I think we spoke before ?

I haven't been able to relax for weeks ..

I can't switch off as I am awaiting a CT Scan and until that's over I am hysterical xxxx

17

P.S I am still experiencing pressure behind the eyes, face numbness and weakness in body. It's like a wobbly feeling ...

My good long term friend came to see me today as she knew I was bad ... I looked a mess, I hadn't washed my hair for 2 weeks and I hadn't even showered.

I was a mess but she was fab, picked me up a little, she was still able to make me laugh even thou I was feeling so weak and wobbly.

I had to take my sick note into work today..

(My doc has signed me off for 2 weeks as I had an awful panic attack at work on Sun, I was hysterical)

She suggested going for a coffee after but I felt that wobbly and weak, I thought I was gonna pass out!

I was leaning on her, is it normal to feel so weak? X

18

P.S Because it's someone I've known for nearly all of my life, she picked me up, and it wasn't like I had to pretend I was ok...

Certain people don't understand and you can't be around them but your true friends it doesn't matter if you are having a bad day xxx

19

Hi Zoe yes I remember you. It sounds like you're having a really horrible time with it all..and the waiting is never ever nice.

What you describe sounds like anxiety to me. And with the pressure this could be made worse by sinus. I don't think you have anything to worry about...it sounds like you have made yourself feel quite ill have you lost interest in yourself (you mention not washing your hair etc, I always think this is a sin of depression..) doll because of your health worries?

By this i mean, are you so sure something is wrong with you that you feel unable to do anything at all?

I can relate to you as I was that bad a few months ago. The beginning of the summer was the worst for me. I was a mess.

If you had what you fear you have, you would know by now. It wouldn't just be head pressure and feeling woozy. The feeling of being weak and wobbly.. That is anxiety - it is psychosomatic. I'm just learning about this myself. And yes...you can convince yourself that you are dieing and feel absolutely awful.

Your scan will be fine would you let me know when you find out?

I hope after that you are able to move on from this - it's been a long time for you (I remember you have responded to my posts since May, I believe?) and I hope you will finally find some peace... Once you KNOW categorically that you are alright you will then have to accept what you have is anxiety and obsession. Two difficult things alone...together can be explosive.

Do you have OCD? Also, you do sound like you have depression. I hope you will feel better able to tackle these things once you get your results I'm rooting for you

20

Sign of depression - no sin. Sorry! x