That wasn't discussed and is not something I'm qualified to comment on.
Sorry to hear, Matt. Are you saying that you experience that even if the other guy's penis isn't thick? I really wish there was some clinic or expert somewhere in the US who was knowledgeable and would be willing to field questions via an online forum or board or whatever. The nurse at the clinic where I had the procedure done told me I would be able to bottom once I healed in a month (!!). Totally clueless. I lost faith in her literally at that very moment as even I knew that would be way too soon. There is a clinic out of NYC that specializes in treating this in gay men. I tried sending them a note at one point but they never responded. Might be worth calling them. Google "Bespoke surgical".
I'm 8 months after surgery, and only now I'm starting to enjoy anal sex again. It takes a while to relax and a bit more till it won't hurt, but after a while it gets really relaxed and good,. Once I get relaxed and used to it, usually several minutes after insertion, it gets as good as it used to be. I hope it gets easier with time, but even so I'm glad I can enjoy it again . After sex I get a bit sore for a few hours, as if the anal muscle got more tight than it used to be, but this only lasts a few hours and then it's normal again.
Bespoke surgical is an outfit in NYC. They are very helpful.
It is possible to bottom post hemorrhoidectomy but the recovery period will be different for all, depending on the number of hemorrhoids removed, how quickly healing occurs, immune status etc Stapled hemorrhoidectomy should be avoided. Apparently staples can be removed if necessary.
They suggest using toys and lots of lube to very gradually dilate the canal around 8 weeks post op. Supposed to be a very slow and careful process. If left to late I'm guessing that scar tissue will harden. If started too early, reinjury would be an issue.
If many columns or cushions are removed "anal stenosis" is a risk and if this occurs chances of eventual success are much lower. Repeat surgery is also possible in some cases.
Been doing research on pubmed etc it seems as if bottoming is a risk factor in and of itself for developing hemorrhoids although the evidence is far from definitive
I had surgery in November and still am battling to receive. i have just started using butt plugs and its still fairly painful, but getting easier overtime - although i keep only getting to a certain point.
question for those who have been able to go back to normal, how soon after surgery did you start using toys?
I'm 10 months after surgery and I can already take toys or my husband, but it takes me longer to get used to it and to be able to enjoy it. As if it takes longer to relax or get more elasticity. But It's the closest to normal I'm getting, so I won't complain about it. Hopefully it will get better with time.
wow after reading all these comments im second guessing having my piles removed i am 37 year old female ive had hemorrhoids for 18 years was painful at first but now its just like skin i love anal and my new bf is big and long and ive been dying to try it with him but dont want him to see my anus lol i know they are very ugly and dark like a cluster of purple grapes but honestly my past bfs didnt mind and im thinking if someone really loves me then they shouldnt care what my bum hole looks like since theyre not painful and i can have great anal sex i think i will skip the pain and cost of any surgery and just try to love myself how i am our partners should do the same
hi and which procedure did you have done. Staples? Banding?
Hey. I hope everything works fine. I am in a different situation. I am 24 years old gay man. I however never had anal sex in my life but I want to. I had hemorroids for a year and I was afraid to have sex. By the way, I realised I was gay last year. The same time I found out that I had hemorroids. Long story short I thought that having a surgery would help me in the future- what an irony! So I had a laser operation to remove them. However, I couldn't discuss it with my doctor because he knows my parents and my parents don't know that I am gay. Will I be ever able to have sex? I feel like I caused this to myself in my trying to fix things. I messed up. Thanks for reading this. xxx
So just an update from my post a few months ago. I had surgery about 9 months ago and then could not bottom since then. I even found fingers alone to be extremely painful and unpleasant.
When I read some of the above thread about 6 months later (being at a lose as I was never sure I would ever go back to normal again) I saw someone post about using a toy within the first 3 months of surgery to ensure scar tissue doesnt heal over and be tight forever. As I was already 6 months in and hadnt tried toys, I thought the odds were stacked against me. Nevertheless I tried a buttplug for about 2 months straight with it still being painful and i could only get to a certain depth/stretch.
A few months after trying the buttplug and 9 months after surgery I can finally say Im starting to enjoy sex for the first time since the surgery. It isnt 100% as it was previously, but how i could compare it to was the initial stages of when you start bottoming. It still in some instances is painful but it isnt as painful as in the beginning and is slowly getting better and deeper each time.
So for those of you who have had surgery already, there is still hope for everyone. Everyones bodies will heal at different times, but its about being patient but also persistent with the process.
For those considering the surgery, its best to know all the facts. Firstly its extremely painful for weeks after the surgery whereby youre leaking and bleeding for up to 6 weeks after surgery. Then lastly it will take a long time for sex to go back to normal. So i would only suggest getting the surgery in extreme situations whereby you cant currently have sex or youre in alot of pain currently. Else its not worth it. Knowing what I know now and how much pressure it put on my longterm relationship, i would have never had the surgery.
I did mine surgery already 6 months. It is a little nightmare. It seems that is getting better finally, but I realized my anus does not open as before. I could take 2 penises at same time, and thick ones without problem. Now, I can take if they are not so thick, and even the normal thickness ones, gives me a burning sensation that is not good and I cant get excited of being penetrated as before. Maybe it is still not healed totally? Or it is a kind of memory of the pain?! I don't know. But talked with my doctor who said to "go slowly" and with time, my anus will be as before. I don't trust him very much, but I will give the time, specially after reading some comments here talking about "10 months" or more to return to the normality. If I ever knew, I would live with my hemorrhoids but not do this surgery. Now, I am feeling too much itching near the anus, and when it happened before, it was a signal of hemorrhoids, so I really hope they did not came back again... I will need to see the doctor again to ask how to avoid this so intense itching sensation, because I cant even sleep unless I do scratch a bit (or a lot until it is bleeding)... :(
Hi all!
I'm sorry if this is a silly question, but is Haemorrhoidal Artery Ligation Operation (HALO) an alternative to haemorrhoidectomy? Or, once you have had haemorrhoidectomy done, can the staple be removed, and once is healed again the HALO procedure done?
Also, the reason I'm at this topic is because I'm considering having the surgery. I'm in a 6 year relationship, but feel super self conscious in letting my partner even touch my anus. I don't bottom, but would love to and that's the only reason I don't. Also, we sometimes have other partners and I can never bring myself to let the other guys touch myself down there, obviously. Don't know if the HALO procedure is the right one for me, and, since it doesn't involve cutting I thought once the procedure is done and healed, anal sex wouldn't be an issue?
3 Months after the surgery I tried anal sex for the first time and I was bleeding nonstop with an average size. I wish I read this before I had the surgery. but think of this through again, scar don't stretch. it makes perfect sense now!
joey, it does get better with time but it is a /very/ long healing process. it really took me about 10 months before i could have sex again and that was only on rare occasions with a little lingering pain afterwards (but nothing like when i had the hemmorhoids. It's now been a little bit less than a year and a half and i fully enjoy sex again although there is still a bit of lingering pain that goes away in a day or two. i'm actually glad i had the operation because i would get pain just from a finger or even eating spicy foods that would last for a week or even longer and i never have that anymore. Just be patient and find enjoyment in other forms of sexual expression for a while. you'll get there eventually
yes i had haemorrhoidectomy, thanks for your message. however i have a shadow in my mind now.
updates on my situation, i think the sex i had yesterday tore the scar and It’s extremely painful when you go to toilet and afterward the leaking again.
please dont even try sex after 3 months, and it will put you 2 months back!
Hi Scott, how is your condition after removing the staples? Will you be able to enjoy bottoming? Also must those staples be removed for you to enjoy? I had mine done(stapled) 4 months ago and wasn't aware of the consequences until recently... Thanks in advance!
Hi daniel, which type of surgery did you go through? was it stapled or without staples? Thanks in advance!
Without staples. With staples, as far as I know, it will always be hard to have anal sex because the staples will hurt both individuals. I'm over a year after my surgery, and I can have normal anal sex now. But the sensation is a bit different, it takes a little longer for me to relax. The scar left a couple of small skin tags that bother me, but I wouldn't think about having another surgery there anytime soon.
I'm glad i'm also not the only one. I'm 31 and would like to be able to try anal, but it's too uncomfortable. I can fit like 3 or 4 fingers in after a while, but moving in and out is still painful/extremely uncomfortable. I was told that I have small internal hemorrhoids and that they aren't really big enough to do anything about. It's quite depressing...
I've heard about a process called Transanal hemorrhoidal dearterialization (THD), which sounds interesting. Has anyone here had that procedure done?