Anxiety is destroying me, help

Mental health
1

I have always been a person of nervous disposition and have always suffered from mental difficulties but over the last nine months everything has gotten much worse.

Eight months ago I completely burnt out and had a nervous breakdown, and ever since then I've been crippled with anxiety.

Symptoms include feelings of derealization and intense panic (especially in public ) I worry that I'll be far from home and then start hallucinating, lose control in public and not be able to get back safely. It's a stupid fear but it haunts me.

It's such a challenge everytime I have to go and do anything as when the panic hits me everything becomes slow motion and dreamlike which makes me panic more because I feel like I'm hallucinating.

Most days I set myself challenges and force myself to do things despite the anxiety and the discomfort I feel , but this exposure doesn't seem to make things easier.

I'm also quite socially anxious and it's not easy for me although no one would probably guess that. I rely on alcohol alot for courage, which is actually detrimental as the anxiety I get from hangovers is crippling.

I have recently returned to my hometown and I'm meant to be starting work next week, I don't know how I'll do orbit I'll force myself to as I will not let this horrible problem dominate my life.

I just want to feel normal and brave like I used to.

I went to the doctors and after the breakdown and was put on SSRIS and diazepam.

Naturally the diazepam helped , I stuck with the anti depressants for three months and found that they made my anxiety a million times worse and heightened the spacey panicky feeling so I stopped taking them.

The problem is, is that I feel I can't cope anymore, I'm tired of fighting this, and worrying every moment of my waking life. I have tried so hard to fight it from avoiding caffeine, meditation, exposure etc but it won't stop.

I feel like I would rather not be alive if I have to live with this for the rest of my life.

I can't see a way forward.

I went back to the doctors and the only thing they prescribed was another ssri, which I refuse to take as I know they don't agree with me ( I did tell the doctor this but it seemed to go in one ear and out the other)

Sorry for the long, whinging post. I don't usually post anything like this online but this is kind of a last resort ,to see if anyone had any advice because I really can't go on like this anymore and suicidal thoughts have been crossing my mind.

Thanks in advance and sorry again.

Regards

2

Hi, I'm sorry you're suffering at the moment,I know what you mean about the meds but a lot of them do make you feel worse before they start to work, I had a terrible time with sertraline , I got over all the side effects but they still didn't help so I had to come off it,so now I'm into my fourth week on venlafaxine, you must be a really strong person to decide not to have medication,I wish I had your strength, maybe therapy .ight help you with some coping strategies at least then you will have some kind of help and not have to go through this alone, Also there is always someone on here that you can talk to, hope you start​to feel better soon 😃

3

Thank you so much for your reply I will take your advice and look into therapy.

Hope you've had a lovely day xx

4

Hey, this is one of the more serious posts and I need to talk to you about it.

I messaged you personally.  Take a look in your inbox.

5

I know exactly what you're going through I have dealt with this for years.Over the years I have learned how to manage it. 

 1.  what I did was first of all speak with a counselor. They see this on a daily basis and have the tools to help you manage this. Anxiety and stress is difficult to manage on our own and it really helps to talk to someone else. I keep going even when I start to feel  better because it's like a lifeline for me. Find a counselor you feel comfortable with. Some counselors will use CBT which is cognitive behavioral therapy. That helps you see the anxiety for what it is and it helps you manage it. If you ever really feel out of control and can't manage, seeing a counselor would be the first best step!

Remember....FEAR  stands for false evidence appearing real.   Which means sometimes when we have symptoms we think they are related to some terrifying disease, when in reality the odds are much higher that they are not.   Our minds  will go to the negative if we let it, so we must be in control.

Don't let fear take you over! Be a fighter for yourself! 

 2.   Secondly, I go to Google or YouTube and look up hypnosis for clearing subconscious negativity. You don't really get hypnotized it's just a really great meditation.I put in my earbuds and lie down and listen to them. They teach us to separate our thoughts that are negative from ourselves. This is something I think could really benefit you!! They completely  calm down my brain and body to the point where I almost feel like I'm floating. This is such a great thing to do for your brain and overall health. I do this a couple times a day  specially when I'm laying down to sleep. There are many to choose from just pick the ones that you like. There's also positive affirmation ones that are helpful too. I play them in my car and while I take a walk. The more you listen to these the more your brain and subconscious will believe them in the better you will feel

 it will just calm everything down when you  are having an acute anxiety attack 

3.   Stay active! The worst thing you can do is sit around and think too much about all this. It will bring on more anxiety. As well as the symptoms. When I exercise my body completely calms down and the symptoms often go completely away. 

 if you are having a SEVERE PANIC ATTACK, go to YouTube and search for emergency help for panic attack. Put earbuds in, lie down and listen. They guide you through the panic attack  and show you how to calm down. It has really helped me!  There are many other audios that relate to anxiety, depression, getting a good sleep, etc. search through them and choose the ones you like. 

4.   Stay social! This helps keep your mind off your worries. The less you are alone the better at least until you manage your anxiety. Just do things that you enjoy. 

5. When  feeling anxious or anytime you'd like, do deep breathing. Breathing through your nose for about five seconds and make sure your stomach rises. Then exhale through your lips as though you're blowing out a candle slowly for another five seconds. Do this as many times a day as you need to. It helps if you're lying down but you can also do  it's sitting. 

6.  Eat healthy! Stay away from processed foods especially sugar. Sugar has an inflammatory response including in the brain. This will just increase your anxiety and can possibly bring on depression. 

As horrible as anxiety symptoms are, they CANNOT  hurt or kill you!   I have had them for many many years on and off and now I pretty much ignore them but I do try to stay as healthy as possible and do those six things I listed above. The meditation audios really are excellent please try them and do them often !

 You will be fine  once you get this under a little control.  You will have a long great life and you deserve peace and happiness.

 I hope this helped you a little bit at least. 

 I really do feel that you could benefit greatly from counseling! This is very hard to overcome on our own. I hope you feel better soon . 

6

Oh sweetie I am so sorry you are going through this! I wish I could reach out to you and hug you in person. You need to know you are not alone!!! Please do not give up on yourself!!! I don't even know you, but I care about you and your obvious anguish. If it makes any difference, I am a mental health professional and look where I ended up at?! A social blog for anxiety sufferers! You gotta see the humor in that. I too for a lack of a better description, had a nervous breakdown about a month ago. I had been on non stop stress since Oct of 2016. New move to another state, new job, stressful job with long hours, sudden death of a relative, my dog suddenly taken ill, and non stop traffics jams day after day and FINALLY my body said: ENOUGH!

The irony being I was superwoman through out all those major stressors and was right down proud of myself until the panic attacks started. Out of the blue. No rhyme or reason. There they were. I too had them years ago and thought they were gone for good as quickly as they arrived. I could go on and on about my current emotional state. I don't think it's really going to serve you any purpose. That being said, you need to know you are not alone!! This site is here to serve as a means of support. Furthermore, if you haven't already, read up on everything out there on the internet about the physical causes of anxiety. There is only one: adrenalin. The only mental cause: you and an overactive imagination/ hypersensitive body. Knowledge is power and key to understanding this disorder. You're not crazy and YOU WILL GET BETTER, but it's up to you and you alone. No medication, miracle herbal cures, and what not is going to cure you. Regrettably we may all have to learn how to manage and live with the dang thing. But it's in OUR POWER to do so.

Please reach out to me or others on this site. And please do not hurt yourself, ok?

7

Ditto! Great advice! xoxo