Hi. I'm a 43 year old woman. I'm looking for advice. I've blushed my whole life. I can remember blushing in primary school, right up through all my school years and into college, relationships, even in my family life and work life. I would consider myself confident and outgoing enough and I'm also attractive and don't consider myself having low self esteem. But the blushing never goes away. I'm like the traffic lights. I can go red at any time for no reason. It's like someone presses a switch in my head and boom it happens instantly. I've tried everything possible to prevent it happening or been noticed if it does happen. I've tried rescue remedy sweets, drops, mimulus and larch drops, chamomile tea, the odd xanax, passiflora drops, I've wore green concealer under my makeup, I've tried Preperation H gel on my face, ive tried yoga and pilates classes, I've tried hypnotherapy, I studied an online diploma CBT course just for self help, I've listened to stop blushing and relaxation cds, I used to wear my hair in a way it would fall over my cheeks, I can't go to work without my foundation, powder and blusher on I couldn't contemplate going in without it and been freshed face. Lunch time at the table always brings on a bout of hot blushed face when I'm in a conversation and then the sweats to the point my underwear and underarms would be nearly wet. Staff meetings are another time this happens and I can't even speak up if I want to as I'll go scarlett and sometimes the voice and lips feel shaky. I can never get up to read or do any sort of public speaking so this blushing and fear of blushing really gets to me. I wish mostly it wouldn't happen at my workplace but as I said it can happen anywhere. On the town or in the shops when I meet into someone and have to stop for a chat etc. I think you get the gist. One more thing I did suffer from panic attacks when I was about 20 and seen a councillor but they don't happen anymore so I really believe they have nothing to do with my blushing. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Linda
Sorry you feel so uncomfortable, I know how you feel.
In my twenties I took courses in Youth Leadership and Community Work, part of the course was to give confidence in Public Speaking and taking Lectures. One of our Instructors would explain if you imagine the people who are in your class or meeting etc had no clothes on, that was a great leveller, It was different with School Kids it was in that case, you had to understand they were their to learn, you were the expert and they were your followers.
Generally with adults it seemed to take me longer to understand control and we used various variations in what we were instructing that made people respond to the class or talk. We all get flushed some are worse than others especially if light skinned. A Councillor may be an idea, they can explain how to perform in a group.
I started as an Instructor, Road Safety at Twenty years old and had my own club at twenty one. It did get easier.
Try and just listen and watch peoples responses you will pick up how they manage in a discussion
At work when I had meetings as an Engineer, I was at the meeting for my expertise so I had that advantage, us that when at a meeting. You are telling something to someone is at that disadvantage of not knowing how the conversation will be or end
That is all I can say, to be honest Linda, I always felt when at work blushing was very attractive, I always wondered if I had said something wrong
BOB
Hi Linda, from your post it does seem that your blushing is linked to social interaction where you do not feel fully comfortable. I can only suggest viewing yourself as equal to everyone else in this world. I was painfully shy when I was younger but now feel I have a right to my opinion and will air it. Is there someone at work you can confide in? I’ve been open and honest with my work colleagues about my anxiety disorder and they have been so supportive. All the best.
Hi again thanks for your replies. I do feel it's all about performance situations and fear of judgement. I have also tried health supplements like zinc and magnesium and forgot to mention I went to the doctor about it years ago, he called it flushing and gave me beta blockers which didn't help it at all. Oh to be able to just be myself, and not always be on guard in case it happens. To be able to get up and do any kind of public speaking and feel comfortable and not socially awkward at this age in my life.