Many of you have responded to my post with insight and kindness I thank you.
When I was a child I was always nervous. I was afraid to try new things or make new friends. I was more comfortable around my parents ( I was raised by my grandparents) who always sheltered me and didn't make do things that made me feel uncomfortable. I was curious if the sheltered life I lived contributed to my anxiety as an adult. I only had a couple of friends as a kid and most of the time I was comfortable by myself. Now I'm full of anxiety about everything both imagined and real. I'm nervous around people, even those I know.
Just curious if untreated childhood anxiety is a reason why I am this way today? My grandparents always protected me but now they are long gone. And I'm so alone and unable to really connect with new people.
Thank You
Don
I think if you have an axious personaility, then you will always be anxious to an extent regardless of the type of childhood that you have. Anxiety can be treated though and skills learned to make it more manageable. This is true at any age. It's hard to say whether you would have been different as an adult, had your experiences been different. I guess you could argue that potentially your anxieties could have been worse, had you not have had the compassion and understanding that you did as a child. It's all speculation, isn't it? What matters now is how you deal with your current issues in order to improve your quality of life. Anxiety makes everything more difficult, so this might seem daunting. I would suggest seeking some treatment though, specking to a therapist and maybe having CBT as this could help you a lot. All the best x
Hi Don
I can completely relate to you! I was super shy as a child and through my adulthood. My father was overprotective but a wonderful man. I never wanted to go to school because I wanted to stay home with my mom. I lived a very sheltered life as a child but my family was very loving . However I do believe that the combination of being naturally shy and being sheltered has contributed to my not being able to function very well as an adult. I have always had anxiety and can remember being like that even in kindergarten. It was a terrible way to grow up because I never got a sense of myself and I always felt uneasy except when I was at home. So yes I do agree that our past can definitely contribute to what's going on now in our lives.
i'm trying my best to live a life with peace of mind but sometimes it's a struggle. I wish you the best!
Thank you Jan for your reply. I to was very shy as a child, and I never felt comfortable around my peers. I loved my grandparents so much and always felt protected and comfortable being with them. But I do believe there is a link between childhood shyness/anxiety and adult anxiety and depression.
I'm happy for your insight and for sharing your story. My childhood seems to have been similar.
Yes I literally thought I was the only one in the world feeling the way I did through childhood and up to now. I think there is a link also in one reason for me is that because of my shyness and quietness growing up, I never developed a sense of who I was. My true personality never came out and I spent a lot of time just listening to other people in observing them instead of developing my own self. That's a big regret of mine but at the time I didn't know any better. Thanks for your reply
Hi Don I to was shy and anxious as a child my father had epilepsy and when he had fits he would be violent and chase us round the house an street this really made me very scared I'm 47 now and I have always been the same not any confidence always sit back and not join in let other people take the lead I have had g.a.d now for 2 years I think this all stems from my childhood
Tina x
Thank you Tina. I was always very shy and still am to a degree. I also have GAD and social anxiety which makes sense. Like you I never had a lot of confidence in myself. My Grandparents never pushed me to do things. If I wasn't comfortable doing something that was okay. I was also a big day dreamer in school, had a hard time paying attention to the teacher. I'm sure now I would have been diagnosed with ADD. But my adult life has been a struggle with depression brought on by my anxiety and avoiding challenging or social situations. My life just shrank in a way to a narrow comfort zone that I'm struggling with at 52.
Thank you Tina
Me as well Jan. I was always daydreaming as a child, especially in school. It was like I created this world where no one could hurt me. I was never popular with other kids and avoided hanging out. I would observe to, never the one to stand out in a crowd. I always felt more comfortable being home, I felt safe and secure. I never went to camp or did anything after school like other kids, a true wallflower. I regret it now because like you I didn't develope a sense of who I was. I love photography, it's a real passion for observers like me lol. My anxiety and depression disappear when I'm behind a camera.
Thank you Jan. And best of luck.
Hi Don my husband is a great help but I also think that he as aided me to be this way always does everything for me putting in on a pedastal so high that I have fallen off it ... fetching and doing everything I need I'm now agrophobic and havent been out the house for 7 months now are u taking any medicationtina xx
Hi Don I have brought up 3 children ages 29 27 and 24 and have 3 grandchildren 2 are 7 and 1 is 8 and I feel like I am lost an have no sense of purpose I surpose u can call it empty nest sydrome and I feel like I did everthing to be a good mother that wen no longer needed realized I didn't know who I was an never built that cofidence for mysel
Tina xx
Hi Tina. You have more than me. I'm 52 and never been married or have any kids. Your lucky you have such a supportive husband and family who care. You accomplished a lot in life but you don't realize it. I completely understand that you feel like you never developed a true sense of yourself and you feel isolated even though you have a family. It's such a difficult illness, most don't understand. I wish I wasn't alone, and I have many regrets. I isolated myself from those who care. Not a day goes by when I don't wish I had a wife and children. I missed out and now I'm alone.
Take care of yourself Tina.
Don.
That's how I was raised. Overprotectively. Since my father died, my mum had a distance as much as feelings are concerned, but apart from that she was really overprotective of me. My grandparents live across the street so basically I grew up with them too and they never made me feel uneasy, they would do anything. I totally get what you're saying. It's like we grew in a bubble where everything is comfortable and when we are to face the real world, it hits us. What you're describing can be treated in a good extent, you have to correct some wrong patterns of thinking. Try to get some therapy, best of luck!
Thank you. My grandparents were very good to me. I never caused them any problems besides not doing all that well in school. I never got in trouble. Your right it was like living in this protective atmosphere. I was alone most of the time because I had very few friends. Thereby is something I know will help but my insurance won't cover enough sessions. So I'm on meds. Xanax and Effexor which seem to help. But my negative thought patterns still persist.
Thank you so much for your reply. And best of luck.
Weird thing is , I was very social when I was young. Had loads of friends and stuff and then I did this whole turnaround which is weird. Therapist said it's cause I felt safe in this ''bubble'' and protection.
You shouldn't take Xanax for more than a month. It's highly addictive.
I've been taking Xanax for over a year. My phychiatrist keeps prescribing it. It definitely helps with the anxiety. I feel more calm after taking it. Most of the meds for depression or anxiety have some pretty bad withdrawals. But I guess my phychiatrist knows what she's doing.
It does kind of zone me out though.
I don't think it's good of her prescribing Xanax over and over, it's like trying to dodge you and the real problem. Of course you're gonna feel calm but eventually you're gonna be needing more and more.
Don u should never have any regrets in life our lives take us down a path that makes us who we are today although we are unsettled in our lives this will get better I am lucky yes I am but trust me Don I am but I have never ever let so alone as I have with this anxiey the lonelyness is the worst part no one to talk to I try to hide how I feel but it's there everyday xxxtina
Hi Don I am on lorzapam o.5 twice a day been on it for 2 years I have had 5 different medications all to no avail realy bad side effects only lorzapam works for me but I need to up my dose but they won't let me been waiting five weeks now for new med they have just left me to suffer but I battle on everyday I have no choice just keep fighting it and take ur xanax when u need it that's what it is for and if that's what u need to do to cope then don't worry u will get threw it I have been fighting for 2 years but it won't beat me I won't my life back tina xxx
It seems that what phychiatrist do they prescribe this med or that and see what works. Over the years I've been on just about all of them, sometimes she will try a combination of meds. To tell you the truth I'm tired of relying on them. And I want to tell her that but I never do, she just writes out more prescriptions. I cut down on my Effexor myself I was on 300mg. And I cut back to 150mg. she was surprised when I told her but I just thought it was to much. I had some withdrawals but got through it and I'm comfortable at 150mg.
Sorry to go on like this but it's nice to have people who understand and offer good advice from experience.
Thanks again. Don.