I have had herpes for one year and want to find out from people who understand what its like and can offer good advice.
I am going to disclose to my partner about my condition. What are the best ways for protection? Condom an obvious one. Also what are facts to include in disclosure. I dont want to overwhelm him with facts though.
Thankyou in advance!
Condoms and Supression can take your risk down to 1-3%, never sleep when you have any sign of an outbreak even a little tingling but you probably know that
When you tell him don't play the pity card, there's no need to hate yourself for this YOU ARE NOT GROSS so don't act like you are, you can either just come out with it and be like 'the reason we haven't slept together yet is because I wanted to make sure my feelings were realy enough to share something very personal, I have herpes..' then leave it at that don't just hit him with the facts straight away because it's sounding like you are begging
you want to come across like it's no big deal
maybe even say something like 'I have the virus that causes cold sores on the mouth but I get them on my never regions'
don't apoligise and please don't say 'you don't have to stay with me' because herpes or not the person doesn't have to stay with you just like you don't have to stay with them
let them answer and then say 'would you like some facts' then hit him with the condoms and supression route and say how you've had it for a year now so it's even rarer to catch
If you have genital HSV1, it's not much of an issue and condoms should suffice. If you have genital HSV2, you should use condoms and also consider daily suppressive meds to reduce the likelihood of outbreaks, viral shedding and thus transmission. If you don't know which type you have, you should do the HSV IgG type-specific test to find out.
Hi! Do you know if HSV1 on genitals is not much of an issue too? Doc said daily suppressant weren't necessary but I'm still worried for my partner. At some point, we would like to stop using condoms too so... Thanks!
if you have HSV1, I guess one of the facts you could tell him is that it's so common, many people don't even know they have it. And you do so you can be responsible about it. My partner was like: ok, there is stuff we can do to prevent transmission, we'll do that. Also, it's more of a skin condition when you think about it. If you approach it that way, it is less scary for others I think.
Genital HSV1 is much less infectious than genital HSV2 and oral HSV1, as it typically recurs and sheds infrequently and at lesser levels. If I remember correctly, there are very few cases of it passing from genitals to genitals, with most new cases caused by oral sex.
Thanks, I appreciate it. I caught it receiving oral sex so I'm scared of giving it to him that way too. Trying to figure out the best way to minimize the risk without actually becoming a priest...
With genital HSV1, it's sufficient to simply abstain from sexual contact during an outbreak or suspected outbreak/prodrome and to use condoms as an added precaution. No need for daily suppressive meds, unless you're in the unlucky minority who has frequent outbreaks with genital HSV1.