My closest friend has just basically told me to get a grip. We are of a similar age (46) and she says I'm the only women in our age group, including herself, she knows who is ' suffering' with bad peri/meno symptoms. Apparently everyone else is doing great and getting on with it. I now feel like she sees me as a complainer and weak. The thing is I don't personally know any women who are having it bad (which is good thing - I wouldn't wish it on anyone) so maybe I am just one of the unlucky few or I am a complainer and weak. Who knows, all I do know is the brain fog, dizziness, nausea, neck aches, headaches, extreme fatigue, hair loss etc etc is very real, if only to me.
Sorry to babble on, but feeling sad and a bit alone right now. If your female friends can't sympathise it's a lonely old place to be.
But hey, reading all your posts on here helps tremendously - l don't know how I'd cope without this place. Thank you all for your posts and I wish you all as smooth and symptom free transition as possible.
Every day is a day towards getting to the other side!
Happy Sunday!
Love and best wishes Dazed xx
Firstly I would like to say get a new freind. Lucky her and all her other "freinds", honestly you don't need them. It is going to be hard and I am lucky because I have an understanding husband but even my sister doesn't want to know yet I was there for her. Your best freind may start her symptoms soon as It is different fore each individual and she will want you then. It is hard to deal with all the stuff this time of life is throwing at us but you have to be kind to yourself. I am 56 an postmenopausal and am still getting unbearable symptoms. I am finding ways to get through them and I do, mostly. If you have any specific symptoms at the moment post them and I will tell you what I have done to overcome them if I can. You are by no means alone and I doubt if all your freinds will escape it . Take care..
Hi Dazed, my closest friend said the same of me when I was at my worst. She said get over it. But I told her that I was sorry but that I wasn't going to be going out or dealing with anything because my hormones were making me feel too weird and since she didn't understand, that I couldn't deal with her either. When she saw that I meant it, she backed off, because we were not going out, since we use to love to go shopping. Finally, at the end of 3 months she begged me to please go out with her, she wanted to go shopping. I told her I would try. Which I did, but now she was much more sympathetic towards me and even apologized because while she sailed through it, I was having it bad. We are also of similar age. So tell her that your hormones are making you distressed, and sick, and that you won't be dealing with her until you get over it. And leave it at that. If she's truly your friend she'll come around and be a little more understanding even if she's not going through it. Happy Sunday!
Well you can tell her to get a grip when she's suddenly hit with an unexplained symptom - I think it's very unkind of her to treat you this way - I know your symptoms are very real and they do pass - I was boasting on this site how amazing I was feeling in the spring for about two months - I've now hit another low but I know I'll get back to that good place again even if it does take weeks or months - hang in there. I too have friends that cannot even begin to realise or understand how I'm feeling and I think it's because they haven't got there yet! I'm actually quite pleased I'm going through it early - I'm 48 and have had a myriad of symptoms for about 3 years so far - ignore those for now who don't understand and tune in here as when you need support - you'll get it by the bucket load here. Thinking of you as its not fun x
Here here Sophie, my sentiments exactly. We will support each other and get through.
ha! the sad truth is that unless they experience it themselves, they don't understand how horrible it actually is for lots of us. I would guess that the women you know including your friend have not really hit the 'bad' bit yet. Maybe they won't, who knows. I wish you well to get through this phase, you'll be stronger for it AND you're getting through it and will be there before you know it! That's brave and we are all with you. You're stronger that you think you are. take care.
I've just got back from a long(ish) walk to clear my head (although it bring on a dizzy flush lol) to find yours and others kind and helpful replies. Thank you so much for taking the time.
Yes, I think I will give our friendship some space for a little while. I love her dearly but I am a little disappointed. I would never wish this on her but part of me would like her to experience just a little of what it can be like so she might understand better. I hope that doesn't sound mean spirited.
I'm sorry to hear your sister doesn't want to know that must be hard, but I'm glad that you have an understanding and supportive husband - so important. Sorry also to hear you are still having unbearable symptoms post menopause. I hope it eases of for you soon, and you find this post menopausal zest we've all been promised!
My worst symptoms at the moment are extreme fatigue and a weird pressure in my head/lightheadedness. Not a very a good description, but it feels like my head is not attached to my body and my ears pulse/ring - not pleasant!
Sorry for the long reply, and thank you again for giving me your time and support.
Best wishes Dazed xx
Thanks Sochima, and so sorry to hear your friend was unsympathetic too - gosh isn't this one of the times in our lives we should be able to count on our friends! So glad that she realised she had not treated you like a friend should and is now more caring and understanding. She'll need you one day and will glad to have your support.
Thanks again and enjoy your Sunday!
Best wishes Dazed xx
Thanks Sophie! Poor you, thinking you're on the home stretch only to have symptoms come back - peri/meno can be cruel!
I really hope those good days come back for you very soon! And yes being able to come on here and share with ladies like yourself really helps - it's a godsend and I've no idea how women coped before the Internet.
Thanks again and take care of you - Dazed xx
Dear dazed and confused, I feel equally alone and segregated in my present surroundings. Neither my mom or elder sis explained all these symptoms. I cannot convince anyone about the hell I'm going through. My friends , husband, children look at me dazed.
A lone acquaintance said it happens to one in thousand woman in the east and one in seven in the west. That's how special we are.......see ?
Awareness about it is very limited.
Thanks Metamorphed! I guess sometimes we all have to experience something to be able to understand what it's like - I can certainly empathise with all the ladies on here having seemed to have experienced many of the symptoms for the last 7 years! I wish all the brave ladies on here some blessed relief soon!
Take care Dazed xx
Hi Dazed...peri is a lonely place to be without support. I suppose its hard to imagine what its like unless you experience it. I feel like I am always complaining of just feeling 'ill' most of the time now. My husband gets tired of hearing me talk about it....hell..even I get tired of me talking about it lol
I know when I had severe morning sickness years ago people would just tell me to have a cracker and cup of tea to settle my tummy. I couldnt even hold down water!
I have also had symptoms for a few years that got worse last year...to the point where I thought I was having a breakdown....depression anxiety sweats couldnt cope...plus physically indigestion headaches aching muscles etc. After a few months it lifted to a degree but this month I have slid back again into the 'hole'.
I know it will lift again...as will yours. We are all on this rollercoaster together....and if you can't get support from your friends come on here...we can all relate. Take care x
Oh Menopolized I'm so sorry to hear you're not getting the understanding and support from your family and friends that you should. I know what that's like and it can feel very lonely. Thank goodness we have somewhere like this for support.
I guess we are special, but it's not the kind of special we'd really like to be, but nevertheless we really are special because we keep on trooping!
Wishing you well and all best wishes Dazed xx
Hopefully you saw the post about things to eat during these tough times - I am so sorry you feel the way you do and I know it is real, but you need to change your eating habits and drink 8 glasses of water every day - first thing every morning drink a large glass of water with lemon juice - you might even think of doing a detox of your body to rid yourself of all the built up toxins - check your health food store on how to detox - you are the only one who can make it all happen - we are all different and need different things - don't get up and say oh this hurts that hurts, I feel awful - instead get out of bed and stand tall and tell yourself you are going to have a good day - you are going to work at being good to yourself and do whatever it takes to feel better - be positive - you can do it
I feel bad for my family !!! I have a really great guy in my life, I have two sons still at home 19&15. Sometimes they tip toe around me and I feel such remorse when I have snapped at them .
They sometimes look at me like my head just spun around .
The thing is it affects everyone differently, I know two friends who had no symptoms, others like me and you, are having hair loss, mood swings, bone pains, heart palpitations and more!!! It's the low oestrogen causing it all which fluctuates during the month. I'm on HRT which has really helped, but still get some low mood and mood swings at the same time each month.
Hang in there, all will be ok, we will come out of it, just be kind to yourself and forget what other people say or think. Do whatever you can to make you feel better.
Hi Dazednconfused, everyone here is experiencing just about the same thing as you. I have been experiencing a host of symptoms for 3 years now. When I am at my worst, I feel alone and crazy. My husband of 27 years tries to be understanding. I know it is hard for him also.
I don't have many female friends or Co workers that I can tell my problems too. I thank God for this website. It is nice to know that you are not the only one going through this. I have been feeling more like myself now. I just hope the symptoms stay away forever.
It does get better. Now is the time to focus on you, take time out for yourself. Get out of the house, walk , window shop go site seeing by yourself. Find things that make you smile, even when you feel awful. Pay attention to your body, exercise.
I think peri/menopause forces women to start taking care of themselves , start finding things to do that make us happy. We spend the first part of our lives focusing on others, now we are forced to focus on us.
You are not alone! I suffer from all of these too. Just try to stay positive. This group helps you stay sane so vent all you want. Hugs to you.
I was thinking the same thing just last night !
I even said those exact words . I have to start finding things that make me happy and just go do them.
It's hard sometimes , I.love my family. I have the greatest guy in my life and his job is kind of weather dictated so he works alot in the fall when weather is decent trying to prepare for winter jobs . He is a cat operator . I.miss him so much but then again I get stir crazy sitting around waiting for him to get home. It's time to start doing some activities for me !
Your friends time is coming trust me! Everyone body is different and some of us start perimenopause MUCH sooner than others HOWEVER every woman will go through it. One day when it hits your friend she will be back apologizing and asking how did you cope! Don't you dare feel bad YOU are NOT a complainer or weak this stuff is real and not easy to deal with or GET through a big HUGS to you!