I feel gutted! I have failed completely, I can't give my husband the child he deserves because I took the morning after pill after being raped. This makes me a cow, doesn't it? I feel vile. How does this stop hurting, seeing a counsellor, where do I go from this. I deserve no children my rapist boyfriend was right.
Hello Sam. Do not feel that this terrible thing that happened to you is your fault, if your husband loves you he will have empathy for you and patience, thinking of a child has to be on your terms when you are emotionally ready. The people who write these letters of pain will themselves be sending you thoughts of love.
Love conker's all you will get over this, don't be too hard on yourself talking does help.
John
Hi John, that's such a different way to think of things I never saw things that way. I owe it to my husband, my family and my Catholic church to have children. I have let them all down. My only hope now is either to go private or to adopt. I just would like someone to give us a chance.
Sam. You have let no one down, it's others who have let you down. Thinking of having a child can have so much pressure put upon us we don't know if were coming or going. If you are meant to have a child it will happen, but first get your self sorted out, speak to others that have went through a similar situation as yourself, you will find that there are others suffering just as you are. I new of young men in the past who suffered, i was one of them. As time goes bye you will become stronger you will overcome and yes your memory will bring it back now and again, but every day brings strength.
We cannot go back but every day we ask our God for strength,it is given do not doubt yourself Sam believing in your self as a child of God you will overcome all that is put in front of you.
John
Thanks John that's really kind and honest of you but if I give all the counselling etc will have been for nothing. I need to try everything to get this child home, to feel happy, it matters so much, rape crushes you psyche, but I finally have the fight in me and the correct counsellor to unravel it all. This way I will have a reason to live. I hate not having a family, I have wanted this since aged 16. I am going to try to move so we can adopt, it's the only way.
Hello Sam. I can sense in your words that you are in control, that's great.
We all need something to drive us on, looking forward to the life you want with someone to love you unconditionally will be the making of you.
God bless.
John
Some days I feel strong and some days I fall apart. I put up a front of being strong. I feel crashed down to Earth at the moment, this still really hurts.
Sam. You can't expect something like this to just go over night, the pain you suffer takes time to leave. As you express your thoughts and feelings to all of us in the wide world we all send thoughts of love and healing's to you.
Have you ever thought of trying to think of the light of Christ as a spiritual person you will know what i mean, this light takes away all pain and helps us to take one step at a time.
When i'm at the very depths of darkness,i try and and bring this light to me, it slowly gives me hope.
Have faith.
John
Hi john thanks for your advice I am Catholic and have a very good relationship with my priest, I may speak to him. In fact i spoke to one of the people from my church and she told me I could speak to her whenever I felt I need to, which was really kind.