Hi, Im 19 years old and have been struggling with depression and anxiety for many years, 3 for anxiety, and 6 for depression (i started to notice the anxiety more 3 years after having depression). Basically ive had a terrible feeling in my head for the past year since i tried getting off venlafaxine, im back on it now but the feeling hasnt subsided, i dont want to withdrawl again and go through that hell. I have doubts with reality because of all these feelings i get: the anxiety, the derealization that makes me feel like im in a dream. I often think im the only real one here, everyone else is fake, or that im actually in hell and am living a real nightmare, but i tell myself that isnt real, because hell is eternal suffering and i still have moments of happiness 
The hell thoughts are terrifying as the thought of hell is my biggest fear, like worst fear, its debilitating. Ive had thoughts of suicide frequently but then if this real will i goto hell ? Im scared of death and whats after. And i realise that a mod will ask if im suicidal at the moment, I am not at the moment but my psychologist is aware of my suicidal thoughts, its under control for now.
Thanks for reading i know its long sorry but please post your thoughts, or if you relate.
Hi Jonte,
I am an Anxiety and Depression sufferer who has struggled with depersonalization for years.
It's a weird feeling isnt it?, like being awake but in a dream where there is something missing that links us to reality.
I have tried meditation which is helpful but its tough...
Its so weird I cant put the feeling into words. I've started meditation which feels good but its also very temporary, but I guess that will build up over time.
Thank you for replying, It's good to talk to another person feeling depersonalization too.
Sorry my bad, I've just done some research and what I feel is derealization, not depersonalization. But I think I can still relate since they are similar in their ways.
I have that same feeling i feel off all the time like im alone in this world when i go places i feel so unstable walking around like my mind is somewere else its a very scary feeling i try to do things with my kids i feel ok for awile but boom back out of reality i have thoughts of suicide also but i keep saying to my self you gotta live for your kids they need you the have no one else . ive been living like this since my dad died of cancer i havent been the same since i got very bad health anxiety after he died of lung cancer and im 50 yrs old so im realizing now that it effects anyone any age it dosnt matter. I wish there was something that can help us cure this awful feeling all the time. God bless you and hope you know you arent alone in this lots of people have the same thing too.
im suffering from it too i had some panic attacks some stress and aniexty which caused dpdr just an horrifying feeling of detachment from world f*****g scary living like a ghost but it is an aniexty than it will vanish in some time it takes time and its and symptom of aniexty so i dont care that but its hard to focus on anything than this feeling so im working for my recovery i hope u will be recover soon
I’m really sorry to hear this I’m going through I think withdrawals from another drug now and it’s horrible. How long were you on the venlafaxine? And what is the feeling like in your head?
I have had depression/anxiety for years was put on 75 or 76 mg venlafaxine (can't remember exactly) but it made me physically I'll, more constipated and actually sick, both didn't help my IBS or reflux then they cut the dose to 37mg and after a while ended up hilucinating , so doctor weaned me off venafaxine I don't have your type of anxiety but I feel for you and anyone else who gets like this. I hope you get the help you need, just keep pushing for your doctor to help I suppose. 💞✌
Yeah, suicide thoughts are horrible. You think that none of this is real so you should just kill yourself, I try to go out and do things that assure me life is real, but its so hard when you have this overbearing thoughts of reality.
Thank you so much for replying, i hope you can get through this.
Thank you for your reply, I hope you recover soon too.
I feel like stress is a massive part of derealization which is weird because my life isnt even hard, i have no job, i dont goto uni, but im constantly stressed. The feelings feed from that and makes it even worse, its like a horrible cycle. Thanks.
I was on venlafaxine for a year, i tried tapering off it over a few weeks and got the horrible feeling. The feeling is like this weird kind of headache, its either in the back or front of my skull, its not really painful. It just brings this real terrifying feel. Another thing is its so weird to explain, but it sometimes feels like i can taste stuff in my brain, with my brain, not my taste buds, its so weird i cant explain it.
My psychologist says we are going to taper off it over 6 months, which seems better but im just so terrifyed for feel those withdrawls again. Im back on it as the withdrawls were nightmarish, but i still have the head feeling but less worse but still horrible.
Thanks so much for replying.
I got reflux for weeks when i first got on anti depressants, that was so painful haha. How long did you wean of venlafaxine for ? how slow was it.
Thanks for replying I hope you get better.
It is distressing but it is because of elevated stress and if give some time to rest you will be recovered soon . I dont know that you if this feeling is well i question every thing like every thing is new to me weird question that scared the s**t out of me so i have derealization dp i dont know i cant recognize my self in the mirror or in the photos what is is it dr or dp pls tell if u know
When I was on the higher dose 75 or 76 mg I had no weaning off period they just put me straight onto the 37mg tablets . I was , and still am also taking Citalopram 40mg so my side affects took awhile to get over, then when I was weening off the 37mg venafaxine dose I was told to ween myself off , one day take one next day miss a dose for a week ,but I did it for a bit longer a week and half, took a bit longer after that to recover but I'm SO glad I'm off it as FOR ME it didn't work a lot of people still take it and are OK with it. Sorry to hear that you had thoughts of suicide, PLEASE get help for that, my dad killed himself and one of my sisters attempted it too, luckily she lived, don't feel bad about ringing up people like Samaritan's, they are lovely , lots of peoe ring them up for all reasons , some even for feeling lonely. 💞✌😄
I feel like that's dp, I've never had that kind of symptom of not feeling your body is yours, I've only experienced derealization where the world doesn't feel like its real, or that im in a dream. Research a bit about depersonalization, but not too much because thats not good for the anxiety, the internet is a good and bad place to search up stuff about anxiety.
yes it is dp thanks for your reply yes it is right when we search on this topic often we get more on this situation so i just dont give f**k anymore living trying to living my life again but it is difficult to focus on another thing than this terrifying feelings !
still the same pretty much, nothings changed or gotten better :( i dont know what to do anymore...