Omg, , we are so alike, ,,I know what you going threw, and unless somebody else can say they are going threw or have been threw exactly the same thing then I don't want their advice, their sympathy it's patronizing, I too have a 14 year old with several heart defects on medication to keep him alive , I have to fight to get any kind of help, no family no friends, ,I have a partner who is supportive but doesn't understand, ,I have also been unhappy. For many years, been told I'm depressed etc, because I also self harm, I have for a long time but to many I'm a attention seeker yet I always ask for help, , I know everything there is to bou self harm, crying out for attention, the doctors never try to stop me ?? They accept its me, I don't, I want t be normal and nice both of which I'm not, well I am much better on the white tablets to be honest, ,I sympathies so much and I am glad somebody out ther I can relate to, it's not just me! I hope you haave a good doctor as I went threw 5 in my surgery and was giving up, I was taking lists of my symptoms and moods etc, but told depressed , no one would listen ,but I know all bou depression I spent years like it, this doctor believes me, he believes I know myself better than anyone he believes me when I say I am a monster, that my kids and partner don't recognize me that I shout at them constantly he believes me when I tell him straight away that I'm worse, and because he believes me he can treat me and help, I won't stop until I get better , because if I do I won't be here, because its a living hell,,you have to do it for your son but yourself also, we deserve a life and normality and to be happy, I never believed that but now I do, , if anything it's worse for us because we already dealing with our children and responsibilities so we need it more, I can tell your struggling because I am too, you have to tell your doctor and get some normality back for you all, ,,,we have every right to whinge , we need help we ask for it but we still living a nightmare, , ,,the white tablets saved my life really just got to hope now the grey ones will do the same, then I'm not looking back,, ,your son needs you just like mine and we are no good to them like we are now, xx