i hate to even say the word but i just want to know does anyone have this fear? my first panic attack didnt happen until Dec of 2019. i was sure that it was a heart attack and that it would be my last day. But i Thank God he had other plans and im still here and still healthy. for the most part, i was fine until i lost my grandma in Nov 2018, in Jan 2019 i lost my young relative to carbon monoxide, then in Aug i lost a relative to a procedure. i never lost anyone before these times. ever since these events i have been afraid of everything but they got better with therapy. now here i am back at square one with this coronavirus. im always having catastrophic thoughts, and overall they all lead me to that same fear. when i have my panic attacks it isnt because whats going on in the current moment its if the moment results in my fear. the constant worry and anxoety of not knowing when your time will be puts a lot of stress on me. if i was guaranteed another 60 years i wouldnt be worried. i also feel like i havent accomplished my dreams in life, and i have a child. overall i know that fear is what i need to try to overcome. i dont even like saying the word because it triggers me. please tell me if anyone has this fear??? if you dont have this fear please tell me why you dont maybe it can bring me peace. i feel once i get over this fear i will be able to move forward with my anxiety.
Hi Danielle,
I’m sorry about your losses. I also have a fear of death and dying. You are not alone in it and even just the word is a trigger for me too, as well as symbols like skeletons. I am sure we can both overcome it. It is something my mom tells me she struggled with when she was younger and in the end she realized it was just her fear of living. I have heard this from other places, too. I wish you the best in your journey and hope this fear does not stick with you much longer.
dear danielle, sorry for your losses. my anxiety started in 2015 when I had to go for a stay in hospital. Fear, fear and fear of dying was a constant everyday thought, thinking I’m leaving my kids and husband soon and what have I accomplished. I was struggling with a lot of anxiety issues and started therapy with my psychologist and psychiatrist. it took me a while to manage it better and for the last almost 3 years it has completely been put to the back of my mind. now the Corona virus is trying to get me down and our nrs in South Africa is rising and I manage with still seeing my drs. I’m sending you mega hugs and know you will get through this
Hey Danielle
To start I am so sorry for your losses that must have been so so tough for you to experience and it would be strange if you didn’t come out of that without some impact on your mental health. I had suffered from fear of death from an early age but it seemed to go away as I got older and life got busy. Then my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer and almost lost her life! This realisation that people close to me can die it doesn’t just happen to people in movies completely shook me to the core and my fear started again. I was constantly thinking I was going to die and even when I fell pregnant with my last 2 babies I convinced myself I wouldn’t survive delivery but I am still here so it got better as I got busier again. Then I almost lost my son due to an unexpected heart condition in November and since then it’s started again but full force! I have had panic attacks daily, I have been dizzy since January and convinced myself I have a brain tumour or cancer somewhere! I am petrified I won’t see my kids grow up. The only thing that has helped me in my faith that every morning I open my eyes is a sign that God isn’t done with me yet! So I take it one day at a time and try to give myself small tasks to get done that day to keep my thoughts away from my anxiety! So far it’s working and I am panic attack free for 5 days! Eventually you just get to a point where you just get so fed up if it that you just accept your anxiety and that’s when you start to move on. You will not die, you will live a long healthy life and see your child grow up! Fear is not real! It’s a happiness thief! Don’t let it steal your time you could be spending with your child and God. Try to pray and get connected and that faith will make you confident in your daily life and also make a list of things you want to get done and busy yourself and your thoughts with them. Read a good positive book before bed to stop the thoughts at night! These small steps will all help you to recover and put this behind you but you have to be patient! Hope this helps! Please message me if you need to talk x
Yes death make us all realize our own mortality. But you have no control over it. Nothing you can do, when your times up, your times up. So you must live every day to its fullest and stop worrying about things you cant control. Stop worrying and go out and live your life. None of us know when we are going to die, only God knows. But God does not want you sitting around worrying about it, he wants you to live, learn and love. Appreciate the time you have and life should be an adventure. But if I am going to die, i sure as hell want to live the best life i can until my time is up and i am not going to worry about it. I am not going to know about it anyway, i could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but i know i am going to heaven with no regrets and knowing i mattered and made a difference before i died. So go out and make your mark on the world, be remembered for something good. Live and enjoy yourself
thank you so much for responding. i too also started to believe that my fear of it, is because a fear of living. ive always been afraid of failure so a lot of times i wouldnt try. now my fear of D, i feel like life is a race and im scrambling to prove some kind of point of success. since the losses of loved ones my whole perspective of life changed. i even start to make myself sick when i try to concept how humans and life even formed.
thank you so much for your testimony. i cant wait for the day i can look back at this time and say i remember when this used to bother me. i was getting better a little too, for about a month and then BOOM here comes this crazy virus, which honestly im still trying to wrap my head around understanding, and it just set me back, but im just soooo thankful that God has protected me and my family from this virus.
Thank you so much for sharing this, and im Glad to know your loved ones are okay. i can definitely relate to the intrusive thoughts, i have them all the time again now. ill be laying in my bed and have a thought that the apartment upstairs might fall through. i know God says fear is a spirit. and i definitely feel attacked. after the loss of my Grandma (who was like a mother to me), i was so upset with God for taking her that i stopped worshipping and praising him. i spent the whole 2019 drinking my sadness and hurt away. then finally i had my first panic attack in Dec 2019. since the 2020 new year i decided i wanted to give my life back to God, i had to realize that i couldnt do this without him. i needed him as a shoulder to cry on not alcohol and cigarettes. i had my last hard drink in Dec 2019, and i cold turkey quit my cigarettes in Jan 2020. i went to church more times in 2020 than in the past 3 years. i was doing so good, on the right path but now this fear just keeps interrupting everything. i still pray soon as my eyes open in the morning, thankful that God saw a purpose that i didnt. and i pray at Noon and throughout the day.
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i remind myself that no matter how hard life gets if anyone ever came to me and asked me for a testimony or ministry of what God can do, i am always ready to speak about how good God is. i just wish i can practice what i preach. and sometimes i just want God to give me a sign and for me to know its a sign ya know?
thank you so much for this! i might actually screen shot this and read it every time i need a reminder. i cant wait til the day i can feel this way without having to be reminded. and youre right, God said be anxious about nothing! fear NOT! i dont know why i keep forgetting that.
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i need to learn the gift (as i call it) of staying present. in the present moment is all i have, not the past nor the future. i need to practice again
I feel you girl completely! I was exactly the same when my baby became so unwell I was so angry and in so much pain, I couldnt find any reasonable explanation for why it would happen but then after being so angry I realised it was just eating me alive and I knew that I was stronger with God then against him. It’s funny how we both have decided to give our lives back to God and now we are both under attack! It’s the enemy for sure, he’ll leave you alone when you’re making a mess of your own life yourself but the second you clean up he’s on your shoulder. Don’t you let him win, you are stronger than you know and I’m sure you have been taught that life and death is in the power of the tongue so like I do, try to speak life into your thoughts! With God you will have eternal life and with the other way, life goes nowhere fast. You should be so proud of yourself for making a great choice to stop the anger and the drinking and turn things around. It’s not easy Lord I know. Just remember you are safe with God and give yourself time and patience. It’s ok to have off days just don’t feed the negativity. Try and busy yourself and have time away from your phone when you’re feeling anxious. You’ve got this 
Yes, church will do wonders for your mental health. When all else fails, God is there and he is listening. God never gives us anymore than we can handle, but that does not mean he doesnt try to challenge us. We have to stand up to our fears and overcome them and help others to do so also. Take care and get going living you life. You deserve to enjoy yourself.
your comment brought tears to my eyes. i need to remember how strong i am. i need to trust that God will get me through this and leave it in his hands. thank you so much for your words.
your comment too brought tears to my eyes. sometimes i just need that reminder of how strong i am, and to trust that God will get me through this and leave it in his hands. thank you for your words.
you are so welcome! please message me anytime you are feeling low