my mood is a constant rollercoaster. i feel like i smile to please ppl. have suppressed so many feelings for a very long time. maybe over 3 years. what can i do? im not my normal playful self.
Yes depression, is as you say, a rollercoaster. I have learned to enjoy the good days and coast through the bad ones. Not much else we can do.
Don't know what to suggest to make you feel better. We all put on "a going out face" because people do not want to see us all miserable. Just deal with your down moods when you are alone. Having said that, I have at times let my tears flow in front of others, but mainly I cope with looking upbeat. Nobody wants to see others in low moods. Perhaps your normal playful self will return one day.
I am a lot better than I have been, and I have had depression many years.
If you have someone close you can talk to you about how you feel it may help, because, as you say, you suppress so much. How about counselling, when you can tell a stranger exactly what you are feeling. Anyway you can come here and tell us everything if that helps.
thank you anne, really appreciate your comment.
Keep writing here if it helps. Sometimes it is just nice to "talk" to other people who understand. I feel so much less alone when I come on this forum as I am often lonely.
How are you feeling today? Do you get out and about?