I've moved home for summer and don't have a single friend in this city because they've all moved away. I have no job or nothing to spend my time doing. I'm only here for a couple of weeks so I can't even volunteer or anything. But the lack of social contact and things to do is making me feel very low at the moment. Also I find myself lying to my family that I've been here and there so they don't think I'm such a massive loser. I have been running a couple of times and been going for a walk most days but it just feels so pointless.
Hi There - Just enjoy your time home, watch some movies, sleep. Running is a really nice thing to do when you are bored.
And since you said it is only for a couple of weeks so it will pass quickly.
Hey abs,
I know how you feel - I've just moved to a new city and I don't really know anyone it's pretty lonely, spend all my time in bed which, makes the depression worse and I'm still job hunting but until I actually get something I'm stuck knowing nobody with nothing to do!
Try and busy your mind to pass the time. Sometimes a break from the world can be quite nice. I don't know what it's like where you live but are there any nice walks/areas that you can go on your own to just explore, appreciate the views and reflect. It can be really therapeutic I find.
i will be your friend on here we could about anything if you would like that
Seems your anxiety about having little to do comes from perhaps your anxiety of what your family thinks you should be doing and not yourself. It's only two weeks! Take the time off to rest and relax and stop feeling so guilty about it! Help around the house, do some small projects for your family if that would help. You don't have to be doing 24/7! You're not a loser if you take some time off now and then for yourself!
i'd make the most of it, eat well, lots of physical excersise's, if there's anything creative or you wanna explore any talents you have, knock urself out, such as art, music, i'd take my guitar, an a simple recorder if i were to go away for a few weeks at a time, i dont see many of my friends no more, they moved away work reasons, or settled down n family reasons. but hey i stay in touch with them on fb occasionally and its always nice to chat to someone i not seen in a few yrs, drop a hi message to a few of ur fb friends,
Thanks I hope it does! I hate not doing anything but I also have no motivation to do anything either. Bit of a catch 22. I did what you said though just had a Netflix day and tried not to beat myself up about it!
Hi fee how come you moved if you don't mind me asking? I'm also job hunting for September but I'm so worried that all this time off has knocked my confidence/capabilities to work. It's nice where I live and I walking is good but I get so anxious when I'm walking I feel like I can't breathe properly and it's really unpleasant. I hate the thought that I might bump into anyone even strangers I'm so paranoid at the moment but I've been forcing myself to go running because I need something to stop me spiralling into a very bad place. Do you enjoy walking?
Hi Paul thanks for the kind words I've just seen your last post and I'm so sorry for your loss. How are you feeling today?
Yes it definition does! When I was in school I started getting anxiety and think I had a touch of bdd so I wouldn't leave the house. I used to sit in and watch TV for hours on end when I used to be very sociable. My brother practically bullied me and called me a loser and he and his friends used to laugh at me when they came home and saw me on the sofa. My dad never really said anything just used to act kinda dissapointed in me and I felt so guilty but just couldn't physically leave the house. Now I just lie and say I've been out cos it's easier. I also told them I've been working for the last 6 months because I felt too ashamed to tell them I had to quit my job cos of anxiety.
I've been off for so long now I'm just sick of it. At first I really took time to get back into drawing and reading but there's only so much of that you can do! I still stay in touch with my mates but it's so weird being home and no one being here! A couple of years ago I knew I'd have a few friends to catch up with when I was back but now they've all moved away. But yeah as you said I'm gonna really try and get some good exercise /yoga done while I can because where I live now is great for running. I might even try yoga classes as a way of socialising..just need to get the courage to go first!
thats a good positive step, have you ever thought of putting together a portfolio of your work ?
ive also been off for a long time, cud see no turning point, however all goes to plan, gonna go thru the rest of this year easy as i can, jus stay possitive an alive, next year still take things easy but in more portions, to get ready to kick ass in 2017 shud i still be here, seams you need time to recover, an if u have had a long time off, you cannot simply be put into drastic alteration of life, unwanted an not ready etc, i feel this cud be a trigger for me
thats gd ur trying not to beat urself up bout it lol, i often have to forward think things, and knw for sum wierd reason, that i may beat myself up bout things or feel guilty, and whilst doing so, dont fall in, and you wont i find however netflix is really depressive, there's nothing uplifting i find on their, unless im not looking in the right areas, some ov my music is contraversial, some would call poisoness, and i have had to do away with many cd's and to stop listening to certain artists, that were causing depressing triggers within me,
i find running, when i can, preferably early in the mornings, when no one is about, come back home, start day off early n eat well etc, u may find u sleep well that evening, i find myself keeping fit a way to dispence anxiety and thoughts n all,
I was at Uni down South, went home (parents house) for a month or two then moved somewhere else. I can't do long periods of time at home anymore so, needed to move!
Yeah I know the feeling, it sounds so silly but, seeing people - knowing I will see people puts me off leaving the house, even for small things like getting some food shopping. In my old house I wouldn't go downstairs to cook because I didn't want to see people, even though I loved my housemates.
It's good you make yourself go running, definitely keep that up and build on it! I do enjoy walking but, not where I live now, it's a city and I only really enjoy walking in the quiet country-side areas. There were so many isolated but beautiful areas where my parents live, you could walk for miles and never see a soul
i just want her back at my side i miss her so very much i feel like i just want to give up and end it now
I can relate to the anxiety issues. It's debilitating and can litterally freeze you up because you're afraid to move. Your family unfortunately doesn't sound very supportive. I would ignore your sibling and his minion friends lol! As I told one other poster, start with small steps. Perhaps volunteer some time for your favorite cause at a shelter for the poor or animals. Animals can be very soothing to the soul because they expect nothing back but love. Do it for yourself, however, and not to please others so much.
You're doing so well coming on here and talking about how you feel, and even managing to give others words of advice. That tells me that you are strong enough to overcome this. Do it for your son and make your girlfriend proud. It's not your time yet, you still have things to sort out and responsibilities here before you are reunited. And when you are you'll be glad you waited and you'll be so much stronger for overcoming something like this. In the time being keep talking, to us on here, to health professionals, to friends and family. We all believe in you and are all here to support you. Take care of yourself xx
Hi Absjbs,
I can empthase with you. One of the things I have found which seems to work for me sometimes, is to do something you enjoy. You seem to enjoy running, so why not try and set a new personal best?
Also, is there a way for you to stay in contact with the people you normally socialise with when you are not at home (I'm guessing university or in the military, but as you don't say, these are purely guesses, and if I'm wrong, then I apologise.), that way you will not feel so disconnected when you return as well, so you are doing something proactive to help you not get any worse in the future.
As for your friends that all have jobs and are busy doing other things, are they so far away that you cannot meet them in the evening for a meal or drinks or something else entirely? If you do not have much to do, but enjoy the scenary, then why not take the time to travel to them so you can meet them. Or go on a day trip to somewhere you've never been before and explore.
I hope this helps. These are just some of the suggestions and ideas that I have used in the past when I feel like this, they may or may not work for you, and if they don't then feel free to blame me entirely for suggesting them!