i am writing this down hoping that they will get out of my head. It sometimes work. Don't be mad this is just what's in my head.
Lonely, fed up, tired, angry, messed up, useless, stupid, failure, why, fat, ugly, thick, horrible, no one cares, a pain, a let down, I deserve to be unhappy, hate myself.
Hi please don't think of yourself like that, we all care and will help you as much as we can, I have suffered depression for many years and ptsd and now have fibromyalgia. If I can help in anyway I will. Try and get some rest and you do right in writing your feelings down, look at the list and most statements will not be true, go to your GP ask for counselling and try medication, talk to friends and family if you have them if not talk to us. Take care sending you best wishes T X
Hi failure why would you think that people would be mad it's how you feel this is what this forum is for its to talk about how you feel and not being judge there are many people on this forum that help each other . And you do deserve to be happy . You may not think it at this moment in time but it will get better I still have good days and bad days xxx
We have had quite a lot of discussion today so I am not mad at you because I am feeling exactly the same! I have just come in after playing the hand bells with my friends, I have had to walk to venue which is about 3/4 mile away because hubby is away with the car, I had offers of lifts from all 4 people who had driven there and I declied them all. I should have graciously accepted the lift and now I feel so guilty, I feel like crying at what I have done, I know I am pushing them away at the moment but one in particular is upsetting me not purposely but she speaks her mind and is very opionated and I am finding it ver difficult to deal with, yet she is the one you can call on in a crisis for help. I am sorry to put this onto you as I am not in the same situation as you. Xxx
I understand there is always guilt. Like you I worry about upsetting people. I have a similar friend, I found it easy to push them away too.
Failure, you need to change that what's your real name ? If dont change it I will start calling you Linda lusardi, which could get me a bloody nose if your a bloke.
What you have just done is created a list of things you want to change or make better. When you have depression , you lose the fight to carry on even with the day to day task you should be doing to live normally ( I hate that word normall ), cause your trying to fix 15 things all at once. Now this might seem a daft or obvious question but what has triggered these thoughts of you feeling you desrve this.
Now ask yourself can they change, is the another possibility. Absolutley every thing can be turned around given some work, but nobody said it was going to be easy. I mentioned to another person that even those in high paid jobs that I know are always saying that just isnt possible. It isnt possible in there own head because they dont want the additional worry and stress of being out of there comfort zone, but you can gguaranteethere will be some one else think it can be done.
What I personally think you need to do ( and I am sure others will have a different idea and thats the key here ) now pace yourself , you have from where i standing several concerns going on ( and correct me if I got any wrong ) lack of money, lack of food, no work or work you dont like, your alone and maybe you have other more perosnal things that you dont want to share on here ( and thats ok ). What I am guessing your doing is you have pressure , and ahuge amount of stress in all these areas and your brain cannot start solving them all at once.
You have probably the toughest decision to make, but the fact is you have the decisions and the resolutions. Nobody at all can tell you your wrong as what ever you come up with to fight back for each problem you will deal with indivvidually. Taking things in small more manageable chucnks means you only concentrate on solve that issue and dont muddy it with 10 other problems. This sounds simple as you read it ( and I write it ), and in theory this is achievable if this is how you want to handle it, in small chunks nobody can tell you thats the wrong way, but only you know how many thing in one go you and your mind can sensible cope with.
How would you suggest to me to top feeling lonely ? I am sure you could tell me , the trick is you need to dp the same but fight one battle at a time rather than trying to fight the whole war.
Sorry Happygolucky i missed you message while typing y mammoth repsonse. I am sorry to hear you are feeling low too at this time
It is good to keep a diary and write down how you feel every day,hopefully you will have positive thoughts soon,ive felt most of those things but I feel more positive in myself knowing that I have my familys support and my children need me helps ,I hope you have family that supports you if not we do.
Great Advice Rachel, it allows you to remind yourself of how you got thru and the fact it can change for the better.
My family don't know, it's hard not to tell them, but they have more than enough on they plate. I don't want them to worry anymore than they need to.
But you need there support ,they might think there is something wrong and worry anyway ,perhaps tell a friend,my friends have been there for me.
I have told a few people, I know I can talk to them. Not sure if you know my mum has a terminal illness, dad having a knee op Friday and he is very worried about both and so my mum, can you imagine what it what do to them if they knew!
Ive just read about your mum, your mum loves you Im sure she would rather know your not going to do this on your own
It would be easier, I will tell them when the time is right, just before an op is probably not the best time.
No but as soon as hes feeling better
I know what you say is right, it's hard to admit that you are struggling, I feel that I must be strong for them and I'm not that means that Ive failed.
You havent failed anyone,you cant be strong for your parents all the time you are not superman/woman.
My name is Sharon, I know but I feel that I must be strong for both of them. It's what a daughter does, look after them when they need you. I'm just good enough, must try harder!! I am weak for not being strong enough.
hi, just wondering how your doing? I too have thoughts like u, have done for many yrs now, about 15yrs ago i did cognitive behavioural therapy and found it extremely helpful, it makes you question your own thoughts, (sorry if u already done this kind of stuff) anyway i went from being housebound (5yrs) to passing driving test, getting job, getting a life. I thought id never go back there, but unfortunately i find myself back in similar situation, only able to go out house to go to work, last yr i said enough is enough, joined slimmingworld, lost a lot of weight, cut back on alcohol & made friends but since xmas iv slipped right back down n cant get motivated. I was diagnosed as going through the change last week and started on hrt, the idea of a diary is a really good one, i also did that whilst doing CBT and it really does help, mayb i too can start that again. Little steps xx
The thoughts have gone at the moment, I feel low but not too low to think the thoughts. I'm still worried about it, as I went a little closer. I had a call from the hospice yesterday about seeing a councillor, and they are going to arrange it, I think in the next week or so. I can't remember too much about the conversation.
We have both got to try hard, be as strong as we can, I know how hard it is. Nobody at work or home knows how hard it is just to get through the day, and how much energy it takes. I'm just so tired, I really Hope the councillor will help,
i going to try the diary, going to get one today.
i Hope you are well? have a good day.