First day, first AD and anxiety suddenly skyrockets... is my dosage too high?

Treatment and medication
1

Hello there, 

I've been scouring this forum and although there's a lot of helpful stuff on here I could still use some help.

Context: I've been sufferening on and off with bouts of depression for about 5 years now and never really done much about it because it generally seems to be triggered when past relationships have ended and tends to sort itself out when I meet somebody new or start a new job or get stuck in at university... when I become preoccupied with things/people that I enjoy. So I never really took it that seriously. I often dip in and out of low moods, cry for no reason, fell numb and apathetic but I just always pt it down to a bad day or hormones or just generally being an emotional human being.

Since finishing university in May I began to feel that no matter what I did I was losing motivation and felt pretty low most of the time. I became more needy and demanding of my boyfriend because I felt like I needed him to be there all the time to feel happy, like he was the only thing that I could feel anything about. I now know that I should have seen a doctor at this point. Ultimately this dependancy led to him feeling trapped and frustrated at my inability to make myself happy and he ended the relationship.

This sent me over the edge. I fell further into depression than I've ever fallen before. Initially, I felt extremely numb but then suddenly began having terrible anxiety attacks (the "oh my god I am dying of a heart attack" kind). Slowly these subsided and I haven't had one for about a month and a half now. Since then I've been generally apathetic towards life, unmotivated, crying every time I wake up, unable to eat very much etc.. your standard depressive episode. I referred myself to counselling and cbt but it's taking ages to actually get to see anybody so I've been trying to carry on, applying for jobs, getting up everyday and making myself go and see friends etc whilst I wait. But the constant repetitive thoughts became too much. I feel like I have a constant dialogue in my head and sometimes it gets so dark that it scares me. I don't really feel happy about anything anymore and I cannot concentrate. So I saw my GP to get some help with that.

They put me on Cita, 20mg, and said next to nothing about it. My mum is currently on it and she said it had worked wonders for her. I took my first dose last night, right before I fell asleep because I had read that it can affect your sleep so I thought I'd pop it into my system and nod off before it had a chance to dissolve into my system. 

This morning I woke at 7am with a general feeling of nausea, headache and that something wasn't right. I felt like I was hung over and I spent the next few hours waking up feeling sick and then willing myself to go back to sleep, to sleep it off. I eventually gave in and got out of bed, feeling truly terrible. That's when the anxiety started. I felt what I haven't felt for weeks, hands shaking, tight chested, sense of impending doom. I'd read about the nausea, I'd read about the dizziness and light headed, I'd read that it can make you lethargic but I feel very scared of continuing at this point. I feel both simultaneously exhausted and restless. I tried practicing guitar and my fingers just didn't respond to anything I willed them to. I ate about three mouthfuls of my dinner and then just didn't want any more. I walked a few steps away from my house and felt like I was going to collapse in panic. I went on cita to help with depression and now not only do I still have constant repetitive thoughts and numbness to everything, internally I am in a constant state of panic. Is it really worth it to suffer this? I thought I'd have no side-effects, like my mum, and tomorrow I'm going to visit friends in a different city, the day after I am meeting with my ex to tie up some loose ends and then on wednesday I'm starting my new job. I feel like I can cope with these events in the state I was in yesterday before I took cita. I don't feel I can cope if these anxious side effects are going to mean I get a panic attack on a train, away from home or on the first day of a new job. Therefore I'm not going to take another for a couple of days at least.

So, guys? Anybody got any advice? I've read that a couple of people have taken smaller doses initially so is that the way to go? I would ask my GP but I cannot book an appointment to see them for a couple of weeks (not great, is it really?). Or do I just need to wait until I have a couple of days to just take the plunge and feel awful in bed? I feel stuck between two evils right now and trying to decide which is the lesser one. Somehow I'd kind of gotten used to depression and though (of course) I want to recover and I realise I need to take cita to help that, I feel like if it's actually going to debilitate me further it's going to be impossible to carry on with daily life. 

2

I started on 10mg for the first week to get used to it, but I had just come off Fluoxetine. I would say if your side effects don't ease in the next few days, then maybe get in touch with your GP. My fiancé was on it a few months ago, and it made him worse, but I seem to be fine so far. It seems to be that it either helps pretty quickly or it just doesn't agree with some people

3

For me all antidepressants have made me feel worse than better. I've been on several over the past 18 months and though the depression is somewhat better they never helped with anxiety. I feel like they make it worse

4

Hi I'm so sorry your having such a hard time it is really the worst feeling in the world. I too am in citaloprim 20mg this is my second time on this medication I was on it 3 years ago but went off when I became pregnant. It really did make a difference back then and I'm still waiting for it to kick in now and am hoping to see some good results. My doctor started me on 10mg for 1 week then I was to increase to 20mg I've now only been on 2mg for 3 days and the side effects are horrible. I don't remember it being this bad last time but my anxiety is through the roof too I now wake with a horrible feeling of dread and nervousness through my whole body which I didn't used to have I went in this for panic attacks and general anxiety but it has defiantly gotten worse and made me feel depressed as well. It has also affected my sleep I generally only get 4 hours a night but I do remember it being that way last time I went on this medication and it eventually wore off. I am persevering and would encourage you to do the same. It defiantly does make your symptoms heightened and even cause more but it will go away once it's settled in your system. I keep saying to myself everyday I'm one at closer to be my old self again and won't have to feel like I did yesterday again. I think it did take about 6 weeks last time to fully kick in for me and calm me down so I've still got over 4 weeks to go but it's a short time to go through something if it's going to make a difference in the rest of my life. I really hope you start to feel better keep in touch and good luck 😊

5

I have tried 5 meds already to no effect. I am on week 5 of cit and still have bad depression and anxiety. Thoughts ?

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I have never been like this

7

What mg are you on Michelle?

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20

9

I would speak to your doctor and see if you can go up to 30 or 40mg. They can take up to 8 weeks to see results but if your not feeling any better you may have to up your dose.

10

I've been going thru this for almost 2 years.

11

It's so horrible isn't it! Have you always given the anti depressants the full 8 weeks? And have you tried talking to a psychologist? It's such a horrible thing to go through but there is a lot of support out there. I don't feel as anxious today as I have been the last week but maybe only like 1% better lol and that could be because my husband is home on Sunday who knows.

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Yes I have been on all for 2 months. I see a therapist. I don't want to stay like this

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Michele

5 weeks is still early days try to be patient sone people feel better after 6 weeks and some take months to feel better

14

It's really hard I would try stick it out for at least 3 months and maybe speak to your doctor about upping your dose. I feel ok when I'm laying around in bed but as soon as I get up and try to do house work and things with my daughters I start to feel anxious and like I can't get a deep breath in which makes me panic. I know it's anxiety but it's hard to get my head around it. I'm just waiting for the citaloprim to meek me fell calmer so I can get on with my life.

15

Sorry to here your having a bad time these meds take months to kick in for some of us for some lucky people it kicks in a lot quicker I'm on week 14 and it's been a rough ride lots of ups and downs and lm still not their yet you need to give it time from what I've read on this site people say it will be worth it in the end I'm hoping so because it's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life when I look back at what I was like things have improved but it's so hard to see it at times if you don't think these meds are for you they is natural stuff you can take its called 5 htp I've never tried it but I've here it's very good with no side effects of you ever need to talk just message me x😀

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Remember the good old saying TIME IS A HEALER 😀

17

But I have been feeling like this everyday for a year and a half

18

Hi Elinsarah

I started on 20mg and have never taken anything higher than that.  I recovered on this dose, though it took many, many months.  Many people do try at first to cope with their depression on their own but often find they need some help with medication and / or therapy.  

These meds are tough and meds are tough and do have unpleasant side effects, but this does wear off in time.  A lower dose might be more suitable if you find it a struggle to start with.

You may not notice any improvement in the meds, but don't worry as this is normal.  Improvement is really slow and often hardly noticeable.  Measure progress in months, not weeks.  As each month goes by there'll be minuscule changes, but just keep persevering and be very, very patient.  These will work.

Also don't be in a rush to increase your dose.  A bigger dose doesn't work any quicker and won't bring Recovery to you any quicker either.  A bigger dose won't relieve the side effects - in fact each dose increase will give you side effects again.  This doesn't mean a larger dose would be more suitable - everyone is different and we all need different doses.  Just let the dose you're on have plenty of time (months) before you decide if you need a larger dose or not.

I understand exactly what you're going through.  I struggled for years on other anti depressants until I started these meds - it changed my life.

Although these meds take a long, long time to work, for me waiting all those months was nothing compared to the years I'd struggled.

If you're worried about the meds then take half a dose for a few weeks.  

You'll be fine ....... think of the end result.  These have been my miracle.

K xx

 

19

How' long have you been sick for? I am going on 2 years and nothing is working for me for the anxiety. I also have major depression

20

I don't feel any better on any med I have been on. What would you do? I have been depressed and anxious for almost 2 years now