Health anxiety..

Mental health
1

Hi, my name is jackie and I'm a 21 year old. I'm not really sure what to write for all this, but I wanted to support because I sometimes feel so alone, it's only recently I've started to realise people are going through the same as me.

My health anxiety started about 6 months a go, prior to this I was quite an anxious, shy person. I would stress out at times but it was always controlled. I have no idea how my Heath anxiety got so bad, I think it was when I took a trip to the doctors about an abnormal mole on my left breast. I wasn't panicked at first, in all honesty I had it for years.. I just wanted to be safe rather than sorry. However, the doctor that dealt with me wasn't what I expected, he didn't have the advanced 'equipment' so couldn't tell whether it was cancerous or not.. He told me that if it's caught early, they can help me survive.. When I heard the word cancer I just lost control, I had an immediate panic attack, for my doctor to then turn round and say that how I was acting was 'abnormal' as I didn't know for sure yet, I had to wait for a specialist skin appointment for two weeks. It was pure hell, the waiting, analysing, constant research I put myself through, the daily panic attacks, I lost touch of reality, but most importantly myself.

Two weeks went by, and I had my appointment. She had a look at my mole which she determined wasn't cancerous, when I heard those words I broke down crying. Any Normal person that would hear those words would feel overjoyed, but unfortunately for me it became worse. Since that day I have been through every cancer in the book, breast (which I also had to be transferred to a specialist), cervical cancer (which I had a swab for).. Stomach cancer as I am constipated and have caused my body so much stress I'm now having acid reflux on a daily basis, bone cancer, brain tumour, muscle cancer, bowel cancer.. You name it, everything that I could think of at the time. Obviously I had these things checked and everything came back normal.

Since January though I've been extremely worried about my heart, not that I have any reason to be. I have a non problematic heart murmur.. A year a go I had tests with a 24 hour ECG which determined all my heard was healthy, flowing normally and strong. Despite all this, I got random bouts of chest pain, back pain, arm numbness, jaw pain.. I've seen 4 doctors.. (One being at A&E as I thought I was dying), all of them told me my heart was heathly, I wasn't suffering from heart disease, just anxiety and stress related symptoms. Despite 4 doctors, heart monitors I don't believe them.. I can't.. My mind is stuck, trying to convince myself I am dying daily. Deep down I know that my chest and back pain is caused from a mixture of stress and my Ibs and acid.. I know that my jaw pain is caused from sinus issues and sensitive gums and prodding them constantly, I know my arms hurt because of trapped nerves from stress.. So why can't my mind let my rest! It's got to the point where I've had enough, I can't live like it anymore.. Constant thoughts of ending it all, but I'm only 21, I have so much to live for and I can't ruin my life. I'm iust stuck in a place I can't get out of. It's truly terrifying.

2

Your story sounds a lot like mine, in that a trip to the doctors, for someone that seemed like no big deal, spiralled out of control and resulted in health anxiety. I went to the doctor for something as ordinary as an upset tummy, and that resulted in me having to have blood tests, an ultrasound of my abdomen, and a colonoscopy. Now, I have since had all these things done and all of them came back fine, but the damage has already been done and the health anxiety has very much kicked in. I'm 27, so I know what it's like to be going through this at such a young age. 

I just want you to know that you are not alone, and that ending it all, it's not the answer, nor is it ever going to be the answer. You have so much to live for; so, so much. At times when things are tough, when it seems like things are weighing down on you, know that we are all here. Have you tried anything to combat the health anxiety? CBT, DBT, any kind of therapy?

3

Hiitsjackieex-you said it yourself you know there is nothing physically wrong with you so you know this.  If you were my daughter I would tell you-no- I would take you to a psychiatrist so that we could get you connected with a therapist for anxiety related issues.  You need to find "why" you are manifesting these fears.  At your age it is not uncommon to have anxiety issues-usually this starts a little younger.  Please talk to someone who is a professional and remember you are not alone.  Most people who have these kinds of fears will end up being fine-you just need to find out why that mole experience triggered so much fear.  Okay?  and breathe deep-all will be okay 

4

Everything you've said about your heart, pains doctors etc is exactly the same as me! I'm obsessed with my heart! Been tested, ecg, mri, bloods the lot!

But I can't stop stressing about it

It's a living nightmare x

5

I'm just like you I'm 20 years old thought I had stomach cancer because of constipation brain cancer because of headaches that stop bone cancer etc

6

I think its rough on your generation with healthy anxiety because you all have the interent and it is filled with incorrect information.an adrenaline rush is the explanation in simplicity but it accomaonies a ton on symotoms and every panic attack comes with these rushes. Learn whilst your young not to google symotoms. They are prudent explaination and every single illness will have some if these symptoms because its an adrenaline rush. Best to always go to the doctor with any serious health concern and let then diagnose you with anxiety, then you know you have to seek therapy or learn cbt or mindfullness. It is so nirmal and human to believe these symotoms are a disease because they hurt and they are real during the adrenaline rush. All the media tells you is be your own doctor. They created health anxiety. All these medical shows feed into health anxiety. So it makes sense really. But to life a better life see a doctor, let them give you a full physical, be sure to get your yearly eye exams, eat as balanced a s you can and allow the doctor to tell you your diagnosis. Bloodwork doesnt lie. A secind opinion can always come from an endocrinologist (hormone soecialist) , those two doctors will know for sure. Endocrinologist do a ton of bloodwork and go way deeper then a gp. Younf woman with irregukar cycles especially should see endocrinologist to rule out any hormone embalnces. 

7

Welcome to the forum.

Do you have a therapist or a counsellor or someone who is trained to help?

8

How do you deal with it?

9

Thank you so much for this reply. I am currently seeking therapy, however there was a four month waiting list so have to look around again. I started talking mirtazapine 3 weeks a go and haven't started to feel the effects yet. So it's literally just a waiting game I guess.

10

Thank you for this. However I do think going to the doctors doesn't help me at all. I find that I only go there to seek reassurance and I never believe the information they give me anyway. I'm having he some symptoms that I had when I went last time, so there is no point wasting more time. Deep down I know I am heathy, it's just trying to believe it. I do agree about the symptom keeping online, this is something I do daily and look for data.

11

I signed up for one but it's a four month waiting list to have to look somewhere else

12

I hope you find a way to stop al this! I wish you well x

13

I don't really, I know a few breathing techniques to calm my symptoms done. However it doesn't calm my mind do.. So it's a tricky one. I think because I've been having it for so long I'm used to it so in ways I can control how I act, however the symptoms are still awful.

14

what kind of techniques?

15

At this moment I would try anything to get better!! I miss my life and how I used to be!

16

If you're looking for techniques and exercises I can send you helpful links? Some of them are:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/ways-relieve-stress.aspx

https://patient.info/health/stress-self-help-guides

Hope these help

Emis Moderator comment: I have replaced one link with a link to the equivalent article on our site as the given link went to "Page not found".

17

I can totally sympathise with u Jackie. I'm 46 and have had cardiophobia for 27 yrs now. (Fear of heart problems/heart attacks). It has completely ruined my life. Had it since I had post natal depression when I was 18. I have all the same symptoms as u and live in constant fear of the next pain and can't breathe properly

18

I'm so sorry to hear this, Paula. I know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this your whole life! I do hope you find support where needed, have you considered the therapy? And breathing techniques for when you get anxious/stressed?

19

Yeah it's pretty crap isn't it? I've tried almost everything Jackie and so far nothing much has helped. Meds don't help and have tried cbt, hypnotherapy, meditation, counselling, emdr, tapping and probably other things! I have nlp to start and more hypnosis on Mon so pinning my hopes on that. Do breathing excercises work for u?

20

Which country are u in Jackie? That's a long time 😯