Thank you, Omar. I am very glad for you that you're better...very glad you're over the worst possible scenario that I can imagine...dreadful surgery! My next step would be go back to the surgeon who's been recommended and then muster up the courage to do it. 12 pain over 10 does not sound encouraging, not at all. 
I do also have pelvic nerve involvement. I am sure of it. My pelvic floor PT can do internal work on the left (affected) side, and it sends all my nerves buzzing right down to the anal area into my leg. If she does the same work on the right (unaffected) side, I feel nothing at all. So I think yes, this pelvic issue is contributing to the anal pain but is not entirely to blame.
Yesterday, I think it was from the hems, I had so much burning into the anal canal, it was awful...made me tearful and felt sick to my stomach. I keep doing my normal routine (swim, light weights, walking, music activities, movies, concerts, reading, talking to friends/family...) but all the while I am suffering the burning, and pain. I just think if the hems go, it's likely to help some percentage of the issue...leaving just pelvic situation to deal with when it needs help from PT.
So, both pelvic and hems pain are very real. I agree 120% with your advice...I'moalready doing most of this on a daily basis, and am prepared to for the rest of my life! (will be 70 in January).
Water (90 ounces/day for me (drink and pee all the day long, but I just cannot NOT do it).
Rich fiber food (lentils, beans, 2 salads/day, no red meat, little dairy because of constipation).
Warm showers and hot washcloths to soothe the irritation and clean up after BM.
Anyway...thank you for posting. It helps so very much!