How am I doing? What should I be doing?

Cancer
1

I'm at the 2-month anniversary of my prostatectomy. I'm in a community that is void of a support group, but I have managed to find a few men who have gone through this and, of course, I frequently read or participate in the  discussion forums here. I'm eager to learn how I'm doing.

I apologize if this request is silly or  is totally inappropriate, but I am looking for some sense of how I'm doing in my recovery; where I might be, I'm sure there are extremes, but in generally, where should I be at 8 weeks out from surgery?

Generally, II'm dry overnight. Due to my work (an office job), I sit a lot so there's not much, if any leaking during these periods, but I'm jumping to the restroom every 30-45 minutes.  If I'm up and about, and I frequently have to be for my job, then  leaking inasmuch as the pad is getting wet. I can't really tell how much, and I still can pee..

Regarding sexual feelings, it's dead down there right now. I cannot get an erection; generally things appear to have shrunk. Is there anything I should be doing? Does low-dose viagra help? 

I am frustrated/discouraged by the leaking, which seems most present in the late afternoons and evening. I don't even realize I am leaking..   I do leak under "stress," such as coughing, sneezing, passing gas or squatting.  

Yes, I'm doing my kegels and I am trying to walk at least 2 miles a day on a treadmill.

I am grateful the cancer was removed, but discouraged by the side effects. Frankly, it's just uncomfortable having a wet pad in my pants. I don't get much help from my urologist. 

I hope it's not to much or too unusual  to want to know if my situation/conditions are relatively "normal"  eight weeks after the prostate surgery.

And finally, what are the signs that indicate things are getting better? Thank you for reading and considering offering some ideas.

 

2

I had Incontinence after a TURP and it took me 2 years to get dry, and still get the odd dribble but no need for pads.

Do your exercises and hang in as it will get better, I am about to have my Prostate removed now, so it will all start again, but quite confident I can work to getting dry again. Have had Viagara for E/D but did nothing, had to stop working on that now, but Urology Nurse suggested other tablets to try plus the vacuum pump to get the erection. It sounds a more positive first step and maybe add the tablets after.

Keep smiling, you will get there.

David

3

Link to a great book below that should be helpful in many ways.  In addition, sounds like you should waste no time in finding a new urologist.

https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Your-Sex-Life-Prostate/dp/0980064961

Best,

n-mac.

 

4

I frequently reply to concerns such as you speak of by reminding you that you underwent a major operation and though 2 months may seem like a long time, it isn't. Your situation appears to be very normal. everyone is different but it seems that the 6 to 9th month anniversary brings the most back to presurgury activities. Fortunately for me I retired about 2 months prior to my surgery.

I never had any problems with nocturnal incontinence but the afternoons were always the worse. If I have any issues that is when I need to pay attention. I actually after 9 month post op sleep through the night without needing to get up to pee which hadn't happened in YEARS!

Keep up the kegels and your daily exercise. As far as ED is concerned I have had no success at all, but I haven't followed up with it with my Dr.

It is normal that you are now a few inches shorter. It is normal and something the surgeon should tell patients.

5

Hello Gene.  On another forum in the UK devoted to cancer the general feeling is that one should do whatever is necessary to encourage blood flow to the penis by taking tablets like Viagra etc.   Bear in mind that you will have to find the one that best works for you and the most effective dose.   You may also find that a pump helps on it's own or in conjunction with tablets. There are also injections into the penis that you may wish to look into.  Hope that helps.  Richard

6

It sounds like your doing all you can main thing keep up with levels.my prostactomy was two years ago when I was 66 .non nerve sparing open surgery, I lost 

1.5 inches ,I have to sit down to P now. I wore thick pads about 9 months now I wear Tena men thinnest .change every morning and it’s only slightly damp.ican still geterection but not as hard.

You can use uridom with leg bag if your having probs I used them for a bit espesialy if going on long car journey.

Hope you soon overcome any probs best wishes.

7

THANK YOU! This is helpful. I feel alone, but this form, and comments such as yours, are very important to my morale! Gene

8

Thank for for information and link to the book. I'm not putting a lot of emphasis on sex, I just am trying to find out what I need to know. At times, I feel very much alone. I could dump my urologist, but I'm not sure that will make things any better for me. He's the city's "top gun" for robotic surgery, and from what I can ascertain, he did a good job on me. I'm just looking for benchmarks so that I know if I'm making progress. I went through life without any health issues, so perhaps I'm a bit impatient... Anyway,  I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to respond. Gene

9

Richard,

Thank you so much for the information. I'm somewhat isolated and without the online forums, and comments such as yours, I would teeter on depression.  I'm just looking for benchmarks so that I know if I'm making progress and I appreciate your feedback. I went through life without any health issues, so perhaps I'm a bit impatient. I've been journaling my  recovery with hopes of sharing with others who might be in the same situation in the future. To be sure, we're all different, but given the surgery is so common, a general blueprint on recovery would have been helpful for me.  Like you, afternoons seem to be the worst for me for leaking. Not sure why, but what I've read in some medical articles is that muscles tire until they are toned. Im not concerned much about sex, but I want to make sure i'm doing all I can to "restore" my sense of what's normal... Anyway,  I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to respond. Gene

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10

Thank you for asking these questions, I am also 2 months out and had the same feelings.  I get frustrated and I have found that I lack a little bit of confidence to go out in public.  Hopefully that will change in time. 

11

I just went out. 2 months out my incontinence was unpredictable. Late afternoon was the worst. Wear your pads. Some situations I would wear a heavier pad and ALWAYS and still do bring an extra. Other tricks wear dark jeans or black jeans just in case.

Remember it WILL improve

12

Thanks for the info. I am wearing pads . In my mind I'm self conscious to go out. I'm a public official in a small town so it's kinda intimidating. But I am getting better making myself go out more