How do you help someone who refuses to speak to a doctor?

Mental health
1

Hello,

My brother is 18 years old and has suffered with social anxiety since he was around 13/14 years old.

It all started when he got pulled out of schoo when some of the other children started to bully him for his appearance etc.

Since he was pulled out of school he started seeing CAMS once a week for tutorin, however when he 16 that all stopped. Since then he never leaves the house and spends all day and night locked away in his bedroom playing his xbox. His physcial health is starting to deterierate as he isnt getting exercise he needs and the right foods. His teeth are rotting as he isnt looking after himself.

Ive asked him to see a doctor but he refuses to go. Ive made several appointments however when it gets nearer the time he ignores my messages or just tells me hes not going. 

He has run away from home on several occasions and we have found suicidal/despressing notes in his bedroom once. 

I have spoken with the doctors who have told me that because of his age now he has to go to them and the cant send anyone out to him.

He doesnt get much support from my mum as shes kind of left him to his own devices and everytime I tell her to seek help for him she shrugs it off and says hes moving at his own pace and you cant push him. However this has been going on for years and hes getting worse. 

He also told CAMS once that he wishes he was invisible. 

What else can you do for someone who wont accept help?

Any help or advise would be really appreciated. 

2

Unless you can proove he is suicidal there is nothing much you can do. Thats the truth.  He has to want help for any therapy to work. Keep an eye on him and let him know you are there if he needs you.

3

Hi

I suffer with kind of the same issue like your brother. I had social anxiety all my life but it got awful in the last 4 years.I have been batling with it and I had times it got better.It is the same with me when it is the worst,I can't be around anyone including my family,I am afraid to stand or do anything as long as I am surrounded by people,and this fears grows to the point I can't take care of myself properly,and the only time I can try and do anything is if am am home alone.

I have started taking anti-anxiety medication,which helped but are hard to get off and hard to get used with them.I am still on them but I have tried to get off them slowly in the last months and each time I have reduced the dosage I have had relapses.

Your brother has been bullied and doesn't want to go out there anymore to be bullied again,that is why he is stuck in the house where he probably has a little bit of peace. Also pushing things in aren't helping or making him feel guilty as he is scared and even though he needs love and people around him he just doesn't know how to do that anymore....

When I first started having this thing I couldn't or wanted to go to the doctor,and my mother was so desperate trying to push down solutions on my thought wich made me more anxious,when I just needed space,as when the anxiety is high it doesn't work to push solutions to the person.

So I wasn't able to see the doctor and they would refuse to come to my house...as believe me the doctors aren't saviours many times,ani tort ca-n do more harm....i tale rom personal experience.

But somehow nu gp Apple with the home treatament team and somebody came to my house

And they gave me medication which did help to cope a little bit.then I just needed time to relax and start do things,but I have had relapses and I still didn't manage to go into a job or do much.....but I didn't had therapy as I was afraid to each time,but maybe if you talk with your gp,to speak with the mental health home treatment team to do a referral so they can come to your home,maybe he can be put on medication and in this period you will need to be careful as till he gets used with it he will experience side effects,and it will take a while ,and maybe after if he feels better he could go and speak with a therapist the waiting times are long on the nhs but maybe this way he will feel a little bit better...and then he can go

Remember to explain to him kindly not pushy,that if he does this he might feel better

You can say to him that I am experiencing the same as him and I know it can get better

If you have any more questions don't hesitate to contact me here