I’ve been staying with family during the holidays. Today, my 12-year-old nephew asked me seriously if I am depressed. We had been on an outing this morning to eat breakfast and go ice skating, which I enjoyed. But I feel like everything is an effort now. I can’t enjoy anything as much as I’d like for worrying about my health. I’m completely sick of doctors, of being overweight, of feeling down all the time. Exercising and improving diet help, but I have a long way to go. My BMI is in the obese range now and I worry all the time about getting back to a normal weight. Everything scares me, even though my A1C tested as normal (not even prediabetic), I am paranoid about what I eat. I am preoccupied by it all the time. My gyn and her staff completely botched up reporting some lab results after having made several other mistakes (long story) and now I don’t trust them. I feel as though it is all on me to get a grip on this health and peri anxiety while at the same time improving my health, I am always afraid of being diagnosed with something terrible, even though I am doing a lot to make my life better and have lost 5 pounds already.
I am thinking seriously about going to a doctor who can recommend whether an anti-anxiety or antidepressant drug might help me.
Hi Liz ,
I sympathise with you! I try hard to enjoy things but almost impossible some times! Anxiety is high at the moment cannot make up my mind if it is just because of the holiday season?
I watch my tiredness level as it makes it worse and also exercise when I can .
I don't know either to get medication for my anxiety I hate it . But please you are not alone and it actally helps me to read how you are feeling as it sometimes feels a very lonely place . Please take care of yourself ! A lot of selfcompassion . This is not our fault . I would appreciate any tips from anyone too please ! Hugs Elaine
Ugh..same same same here! Ever since this garbage called perimenopause started exactly a year ago, it has sucked a lot of joy and fun out of my life. I also spend way too much time worrying about my heals. Hate hearing about diseases, treatment centers (on tv) etc..i feel better when i get a half hour walk in but it’s been way too cold and the holidays have been too overwhelming to do anything! I can say i also feel better if i eat better but that’s tough too.. In tried an antidepressant and it made me feel way worse..so ill i could not get off couch..i am not against taking something to help but so many have awful side effects. Just knowing I’m not alone with this forum has helped a lot. Stay in touch and know we are here. And don’t hesitate to switch doctors if you feel they are not listening or helping you. 😘
Lately I'm obsessed with looking up old movie stars and reading about how they died. I think this is a new level of health anxiety I've reached. So pathetic.
Hi Elaine,
Maybe the holiday season makes it worse. I also appreciate hearing from you as it helps me feel less alone. This is so hard. I don’t know how to worry less or be less hard on myself. It is good that you are careful about not getting too tired. I am a lot more careful about that now as well. Glad we can help each other.
Take care,
Liz
Amy, do you think the TV stuff about diseases and treatments make anxiety worse? I do. It seems like we have soooo much information now! But nobody really has the answers. Thanks for explaining your experience with an antidepressant. I’m sorry that it was so awful. I definitely will have to find another gyn when I can get myself to feel confident about doing so. Right now, I’m in a very bad place with that situation. Long story there. I do appreciate your encouragement!
Liz, I had to get rid of the TV it was giving me anxiety and I was coming up with all kinds of diseases that I had such that my doctor said "stop being a hypochondriac." I, too, worried about my weight because I was overweight I was also obese, but fortunately I lost it all and I'm back to my old self again and just like you I was worried about everything but the best recommendation I can give you is that you take a multivitamin and vitamin D3 and if you can get yourself on some kind of antidepressant or anti-anxiety medicine it will help. Also do not let them give you Paxil or Zoloft, hopefully they'll give you something else and you can be on your way to having a better quality of life. Hope this help.
Hi Liz same here,can't enjoy life like I use too..it's just a struggle everyday to get through the Peri monster and beyond...I go out and I'm frighten even if someone shouts in street that's how bad the crap is..it makes me angry but I control when have talk to people,I really thought I was getting better last month but then bang all wash over me again, not out the woods yet, I hope gets better (((((hugs))))))
Suzanne, I do things like that sometimes... totally understand.
Sochima, thanks for the reassurance regarding weight. This really gives me hope. I am very tall and was always slim when I was young, as well as being very active. I will remember about the Paxil and Zoloft, too!
Hi Maria, same here with the fear... anything sudden scares me. I know what you mean about keeping it under control when talking with people, too. My job involves a lot of communication with the public. Sometimes, I think I’m doing better but always end up back in anxiety overdrive. We will get through this! Take care and hugs to you.
Are you in the US? If so, try finding a doc trained with the Walsh institute. It has seriously turned my life around with depression and anxiety. I no longer feel out of control, and actually feel geared up and in control of my health. It's. It's not some kind of fad, and based on methylation in the body. Something every doctor should know about.
Thanks, Sabrina... I will look into it.
The only thing that has helped a tiny bit is to list all my current symptoms in my phone, then wait a few weeks and try really hard not to google any of those symptoms or even look at the list. Then a few weeks later I looked back at the list and realize those symptoms are gone so it can’t be whatever horrible disease I think it is. Of course your symptoms have come in their place for example, one week it’s muscle aches join aches headaches and that goes away and I have dizziness nausea lack of appetite etc..so That I know it must be hormonal and I shouldn’t get too crazy about it… Doesn’t always stop me from worrying or help that much but it’s something…And yes, trying to limit reading about or hearing about diseases, symptoms, etc helps a bit. I promise you are not alone and we will get through this!! Sending hugs.
Dear liz
I know how you feel, I remember as a teenager going through bad health anxiety and I lost loads of weight thinking I had some terrible disease.
It hit me again in peri, I think with me it started with the endless spotting , then had tests for that and then the gastitis set in, no appetite, loss of weight, of course I thought It was something terrible. Thankfully I put the weight back on but it went the other way for abit. While I was thinner I thought the bones that were more prominent was some lump and for a while got obsessed with that, so off to the doctors I went. I had bad anxiety and panic attacks too. I am over two years post menopause and the health anxiety has got better but I am never sure if it will rise again with this blasted menopause. As for the weight I did manage to loose the extra pounds by cutting down (although Christmas has made me gain abit!) I went through a stage of not feeling that good about myself but I feel better about myself now. My hair went through a bad stage but it seems OK again now (perhaps not as thick as it did) but I condition it just abit more than I did. The panic attacks (random ones have gone) although I will sometimes have the ones that my agoraphobia might trigger. The horrible feelings of not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings have gone too, so there is light at the end of the tunnel x
Oh yes I 100% think there is too much information out there for NO reason. I think people like us, who get too anxious about health stuff should honestly avoid that type of stuff as much as possible. If we ever did have a “real” or serious problem, we’d know where to go and how to get what is needed. I need to STOP googling random aches and pains and try to relax. Even this horrible, lingering cold I have now is driving me insane and I have googled a ton..but I need to stop! We are fine but it’s the crazy hormones telling us otherwise. Do your best to avoid any of that health/disease stuff and pick a mantra you can tell yourself every day..I say “ I am healthy, I am strong, I am beautiful “. Keep saying it! It’s true!! 💕
Hi Liz oh dear I am definitely in the same place as you. I feel so low and struggle doing anything at the moment. I feel like a lost “non person”. Where have I gone? I used to be so “out there “, energetic, happy, enthusiastic and ambitious but that’s just drained away this last 18 months and I feel old, boring, unattractive and uninteresting. I just don’t have the energy or inclination for anything now - even my job which I love I struggle to get out of bed for.
I’m totally paranoid about health issues and I even frighten myself. Aches, pains, continual brown spotting, crappy hair and weight gain - grrr!
I’m sure my doctor thinks I’m crazy but I have to check and double check every symptom for peace of mind yet she says it’s all normal and “try not to worry!!”
The holiday season has been tricky as I feel like an outsider whilst everyone has a ball. My family and friends are amazing and don’t really know how low I feel as I dont want to rain on their parade.
I do t think I’m depressed as it’s a Peri thing but sometimes all the tv and radio info on gruesome Illnesses etc set me off into a mega downward spiral it takes me ages to get out of.
Sorry to go on ladies - it’s just another bad day I think. Sending everyone kind thoughts and it’s good to know I’m not alone in this xxxx
HI Pink ,
Glad to hear you feel better now ! I sympathise with you! Any tips on how to get to a happier place ? Or is if just time ? I am 53 and feel awful with anxiety and panic sometimes ! Take care Elaine x
Sorry about the cold. If I get a cold now, it’s always during a period. I love the mantra idea. The problems I have now are mainly due to being overweight, so I am working very hard on improving diet and am working out daily. The workouts make me feel at least that I am doing something good for myself and I feel stronger. Like you, I need to stop the Googling! Thanks again for the mantra - I am going to use it! 💕