first of all.. a little bit about myself & my life.
I was diagnosed with OCD, depression and severe anxiety last year which impacted on my daily life so much that I had to stop going to school as it was so bad - i was feeling nauseous and throwing up then and now I'm enrolled in an online school. I was put on fluoxetine 20mg last year in August which has only helped a bit with the depression. I previously have seen school counselors in the past which was okay, now I'm seeing a counselor outside of school.
She is very helpful but I haven't been able to tell her most things that have been bothering me. I can't concentrate and think anymore, I can't get out of bed, and I just feel completely empty. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts but can't bring up the strength to have to tell that to my counselor because I'm afraid she will tell my mum and she would probably tell everybody she knew and even joke about it. My 23-year-old sister (still living with me and my parents) is abusive and on drugs (methamphetamine, MDMA, marijuana, GHB etc) . She threatens me when i do absolutely nothing wrong like saying things such as "im going to smash a plate over your head" or worse. I constantly have to live with being afraid, all the time and there's nothing i can do about it which is the worst. shes has been caught plenty of times with the drugs by my parents but they just don't care and let her carry on. I can't tell my mum anything anymore as all she does is ignore me and smokes cigarettes ALL the time which kills me to see as she has health problems and she's going through more than two packets of 40 a week. I'm also really self-conscious which also impacts on my mood as im basically looking in a mirror way more than at least 50 times a day. I'm seeing a GP again next week about being referred to see some other people and my medication being changed and id just like some advice just for this moment by anyone as i feel so lost and don't know what im doing at all.
Hi emma95398,
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient
Hi Emma, welcome to the unfortunate world of Anxiety and Panic, and in your case OCD. What your describing is very normal especially given your circumstances. The first thing to remember is you’re not alone and secondly and most importantly you’re NOT going insane. What is your daily water intake? Considering you’re on medication it needs to be a little bit higher than average. You’re brain is nearly 70% water, so make sure you check your water intake, people who have no mental health issues may feel depressed, anxious or overtired simply from dehydration and it’s often so overlooked. If you’re water intake is good, make sure your caloric intake as well as your exercise is also on a healthy pace!! You need to balance anything you have control over! Your home life is unfortunately an environmental stressor that sounds like it is only making your symptoms worse if not totally causing them. You’re being subjected to abuse, this can cause great mental health hiccups because the brain is firing off directly in order to cope with its surroundings. So before you drink water, before you freak out about anxiety, before anything you need to reach out to a professional and let them know what’s going on at home, you shouldn’t be threatened for no reason or subjected to any verbal or physical abuse because clearly it is taking a toll on you! As a community, we’re here for you Emma, please keep me updated, I care greatly about the people I reply to as I know and empthaize with what we all go through. Have a great day, and please stay healthy and drink your water!!!
If you are having suicidal thoughts, you need help now, not advice from a message board. Seek help now.
Sorry Emma but can I ask how old you are?