I feel terrible about all the mistakes that I have made

Mental health
1

im a 25 years young man

I know im not a bad person , but i cant get rid of all the bad things ive done in my life , at some points ive been so brutal and cruel towards some people very bad people, and also ive been cruel toward some people which werent bad , like my brother or mother or lets say my family.

i have anger issues , some crazy and insane thoughts , its been a year or more that i havent hit anyone , ive got all my feelings under control , but now i feel so confused and am sabotaging my self for all the mistakes i made , sabotaging my career and future.

I am really talented and have some skills which make me uniqe at what i do , but recently i realized that im ruining my life and the results are appareant , i really wanna be my best and do my best in my life and fullfill my potential and live a wonderful life , but it seems that i am really stucked in a doomed loop.   Ive read so many articles on self-help. watched alot of videos on youtube , ted seminars , everything , now it became worse , i am really obsessed about my life and sometimes i just do things to sabotage my life , sometimes i do worse things to make the pain of the past go away.

Im not a faint-hearted guy , im tough , all in all im a man , sometimes i need to be really tough , if i have made many mistakes , i believe ive done more good things and at the end i cant decide , am i really a bad guy ?

i think i don deserve to think clearly cuz ive made my mistakes and i truely regret that , i wish i didnt , but what can i do now , under some circumestances u make them and u dont even realize it , sometimes its bcuz of power , lust , anger , sadness or .....

im lost and i want to change ...

2

oh man! i know it's hard, but don't be so HARD on yourself! you are reading selfhelp books, and doing stuff like that...tells me you are working very hard trying to go in the right direction. and you are! you're just not where you want to be yet. you've come so far. keep going. it takes time. it takes forever. you'll get there!

i regret some mean things i did to loved ones. can't take them back, but i'm learning to forgive myself. you're allowed to. we're all human, and have regrets. mr.right, your awareness is great. pat yourself on the back!

truly, laura

3

Why do you hurt those around you ? You must have been instructed on being the way you are ?.

My early life was violent and brutal, although I fought through that with a Surrogate Family who near on brought me up as my Parents watched over the situation. I still cannot understand why the situation came about as they were a great deal older tham my Mother and Father.

I found the negativity helped me understand what was expected of me as I was brought up with a very old head on my shoulders, in a Victorian/Edwardian World.

We all need to treat people we would expect for ourselves to turn away sometimes is the brave way of showing you are a man. To loose your temper basically is to show how immature you are. 

You will never forget what you have down weather it is being mean or brutal, and many other words you can find for yourself in the dictionary.

Only you can change your pathway, you may need to be humble with those you have hurt.

Personally I do not know if any treatment would help. You do however have anger issues and there are courses that your GP may be able introduce you to Anger Management..

Only you can sort it. What I do suggest however is you sort it soon or you will sometime in th future meet your match, who could be a really brutal taskmaster

B.

4

thank u laura , u it was helpful

5

Hi first of all I would change your name - it sounds like you think you are always right which is maybe why you have behaved so brutally?   You say you want to change?  You really need to sort your issues out and I suggest you seek a counsellor.   This will be the start of being able to understand yourself and your behavious.    Being a 'real' man isn't all about being nasty or brutal with others, or even being 'tough'.  We all have to be tough in life sometimes whether we are male or female. 

'Real men' don't behave nastily towards others,  or are brutal with those they love.  They find other ways to deal with their issues.   You are taking your problems out on others and real men (or people) don't do that.  

You do seem to be hung up on the image of a 'macho' man.  Well maybe in caveman days this was important to survive but not now I'm afraid. 

Until you understand what's behind your behaviour you might not be able to stop it.  So seek help.  After all real men face their problems head on...  x

 

6

tnx wink

7

Hi,

You recognise the things that you have done wrong (and we've all done things that we're not proud of which hurt other people, just as we've all been on the receiving end too). You also have a conscience that is bothering you about these past actions and you have a desire to change your ways. This is a positive step. Is there any way you can start to make amends for the past hurt you have caused? If feelings between yourself and others are still a bit raw then a face-to-face may not be wise in case it leads to the re-opening of old wounds but a heartfelt letter of apology always goes a long way if it is sincere. Other than that, try not to dwell on the past. You recognise your potential for good so aim to fulfill your dreams. I'd just say: don't let your success be at the expense of anyone else. Your candle won't shine any brighter from blowing someone else's out! Believe in yourself each day and try to use your gifts and natural talent to make a difference in other people's lives. I think that will give you a lot of satisfaction. Good luck :-)