I am going to preface this by saying that I have struggled with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety for about five years now and I am currently in a much better place and have now been out of the hospital for about six months which is the longest since I first went in April of 2015
So I started smoking about two weeks ago, smoking maybe three times since. Each time I didn't get high which I realized was because I wasn't inhaling correctly.
Anyways, today I smoked about a blunt and a half when I was with my friend and I started feel a little different and then all of a sudden I felt like I was dreaming.
Things didn't seem like they were real. It was like I was dreaming and then I could focus for a second and realize I was awake and talking and then I would go right back to thinking I was dreaming. I somehow managed to go inside and upstairs to my friends bed where I curled up in a ball and didn't move for about two hours.
While I was laying there the same thing kept happening and I was definitely more aware of my hearing. My friend eventually came up and asked if I was alright and was trying to make me feel better. She started watching Netflix and I couldn't focus on the sound and I eventually put on a funny podcast that I liked but still couldn't concentrate.
At one point I tried to move closer to the wall and it felt like I was just trapped in my head and I couldn't move my body, only open my eyes. From time to time I was able to check my phone and turn my head to my friend but that was about it.
I honestly thought I was going insane because I kept thinking I was dreaming and then when I realized I want I couldn't believe this was happening and I felt like I didn't have any control over my body. I was also freaking myself out because I couldn't imagine not feeling "normal" again. I felt like I was going to feel like this forever.
After about two hours I was able to sit myself up and slowly do regular things. I tried to explain to my friend what happened but I couldn't even imaging how to put it into words and I'm still having a little trouble right now. It's been about six hours since and while I don't feel 100% it's definitely a lot better.
The main question I have is what happened because I have no idea, I've never even imagined something like that could happen. Thank you for reading this and trying to help. I'm afraid to tell my therapist because my parents don't know I smoke and my brother has had trouble with the law because of drugs in the past.