I've been alone my whole life, always with my own thoughts, never having anyone to talk to until a few months ago when I met someone whom I began to become good friends with.
We shared our thoughts and lives with each other for a few months, although we never spoke in person, we were always too shy. She pulled me out of my hole and showed me that the world has at least one person that wants to listen.
We started arguing because I was jealous of her talking to other people except me. The arguments got worse and worse and recently has ended our friendship. I fell back into my hole, hating myself, and regretting having fallen for a girl that wants nothing to do with me.
She now hates me. I haven't explained the full length of what happened and it's not just the arguments that ended the friendship. She said we can never be friends again, that I dragged her down and she has to remove herself from the situation. But hopefully someone here can talk to me, tell me what I need to do because seeing her, hearing her just upsets me. I miss her and I'm hurting a lot inside. The only answer I have found to my problems is suicide.
Hi James, firstly can i say that suicide is not the answer. Have you seen your GP to disscuss treatment. I think you may benefit from counselling to find ways of exploring your feelings, counselling is non judgemental. You could visit your local library and see if there are any things going on there. Some libraries have courses usually free for mental health issues. Have you no familiy around you can talk to. Read books on self help and confidence. Keep talking here has people can be very supportive and listen. Make that first step to go to the GP. Hope this helps. Elizabeth
Hi James as you never spoke in person I presume your friend was online only?
I am going to be honest with you now. I am not surprised it didn't work out if you were so jealous of her that you forbade her to speak to other people. That is completely unreasonable and no one (female or male) would put up with that.
I had a fella like that in the past and it caused endless arguments which he blamed me for. I soon dropped him I can tell you! You have to work on your possesivness so it doesn't happen again. Like I said no one can live like that.
Suicide is not the answer though and I agree that you need to seek help with counselling so please go and see your doctor and get the help you need. x
I'm afraid to tell my parents about any of this and seeing my GP would mean to involve them or at least they would know that something is wrong with me.
James please go to your GP, depending how old you are (?) you may not have to let your parents know until you yourself know what is happening. After you know you may wont to tell them so they can support you through whatever follows. The girl you were speaking to needed to end the friendship for her, yes it is a reflection of how you reacted etc but it's not in any way because you are a bad person. With depression it is so hard to form meaningful relationships so i understand your jealousy of having to share yours, however remember she is a human that needs connections with others, as i'm sure you have/want.
Suicide is not, nor is it ever, the answer. Please don't think it is, many relationships break down and sadly that is just how the world works. I'm sure you are a lovely guy and when you understand yourself what is going on with you you will be more confident to create bonds again
Louise
Hi James, Your GP can never tell your parents about anything it is all confidential, and you need not tell your parents anything either untill your ready or if you want to. Please go asap to the GP. You can then disscuss your options. Relationships online are not always the best as you need to eventually experience meeting people. Until you have sorted yourself some form of treatment put this down to experience. You will get your life back and be happy one day, you are young, and we have all had bad experiences with relationships it's part of growing up and life.
I've contacted my college teacher and he is going to put me in touch with the school counsellor that can help deal with this sort of stuff. It's not my GP but it's more convenient for me. Would this still be of use or does a GP have any added benefit?
Hi James, Well done for taking the first step that sounds great Counselling is a good start, i think you will benefit from this. A GP would be added benefit if you need medication. Not everybody needs medication so give the Counselling a go. Good luck, let people here know how you get on when you feel ready. Take care. Elizabeth.
It's all over now. I've lost all my mates and I'm all alone again. I'm going to cut the femoral artery, apparently it's about 30 seconds before you lose conscientious.
james no one should ever feel like this and I am sad that you do. Please do not give up and see a doctor/councellor asap you have a good support system here and things get better
James, please don't do this, things can get better. Are you there speak on here, let us know how you are. Elizabeth.
I'm still here. The blues, in particular BB King help me, it's my only medication.
Sorry what's BB King mean?
He's a famous mucisian oftenr referred to as the king of the blues. I replied with a YouTube link but it said it needs to be moderated first.
That's okay. Try to enjoy something everyday. Keep talking here, hope you get to see the Counseller soon. Best wishes.
Hi James ~
It's clear by your fear that your parents will find out that you're under age and might not or should not have been in a chatroom? Just to let you know, many people do not find that flattering if you're that possessive that one cannot talk to another. That's definite trust issues.
If you two were a couple in "real life" would you allow her to talk to anyone else?
I'm hoping you answered "yes" to that. It shouldn't be any different in a chatroom.
After all, you weren't exclusive with just her or she to you when you first met up, right? One cannot be held down thinking they cannot breathe w/o fearing repercussions from you if she dare talk to someone else. That's truly an age issue too. You're young and obviously don't have a lot of relationship experience. You can use this to your benefit. Learn. Learn and learn more about yourself so you don't repeat the same mistakes.
You cannot assume people are up to no good if they communicate with other people. Embrace the people she is embracing. Perhaps as she's helped you, someone else is in need of the same kind of help. Just relax and keep a calm about yourself and go back to the chatroom and go to a totally different room if you need to. Don't allow someone to dictate how you communicate to other's and they also don't allow you to do the same to them. Meet other's...just like she is. It doesn't mean the end of the world. Just perhaps the end of that relationship. If it's strong enough, she'll come back and if she doesn't, move on.
Suicide isn't the choice either. What will that accomplish but hurt to your family and friends and to yourself. That kind of thinking definitely should be talked over with your GP. And, your parents won't find out unless you want them to because there is a privacy confidentiality between paitent and doctors, so they cannot find out unless you provide permission.
Now, if you need to explain why you're going to a GP, you can tell them you're having stomach problems or something like that (little white lie) so you won't have to disclose your sitation with your parents. However, moreso than not, your parents are a wealth of knowledge and could be of some great support to you if you allow them to. Think about that.
Warm regards,
Frustrated
I know exactly what you mean. this is me as well. I’m about to get in my vehicle and see what’s happens. it has some mechanical problems and am hoping that it will take us both out of this world.
I think maybe you should move on and find a new friend who’ll understand you better. You may not think you’ll be able to, but if you did it before, you can do it again. You just need to remember that there’s always someone out there who wants to listen to you.
Looks like you made some new friends already. Good for you! I partially understand what you went through. I am kinda still going through it. Ever since the first grade, I tend to not talk to anybody, fearing I will be rejected. I avoided a lot of people until the sixth-grade, I met this girl sitting by herself, reading books about cats. Excited on finding someone who had the same interests as me, I decided to go talk to her. We hit it off, and hung out together all the time at school, since we were in the same classes. She introduced me to her favorite book series, making it my favorite too. Sometime during the seventh-grade, I saw her talking with some other people, I was jealous too, but I never verbally expressed it. I guess she saw it on my face, we argued, the arguing grew by each day, causing us to hate each other, ending our friendship. For some reason after that, she mover away, causing me to feel real depressed for a time. Because of that, I got into a lot of trouble. Even now, I still feel depressed because of that. I started to feel suicidal, and made multiple plans to kill myself. I got an Xbox a year after the incident, and only used it to play solo games. After a month or two, I fully immersed myself in the Virtual world, ignoring the real one. During the day, I play all the time, and at night, I lie awake, thinking what would happen if I decided to actually go talk to her friends, try to connect with them. One day, I found a Looking for group post for one of my games, simply saying. “Need new friends.” I decided to request to join, and was accepted. After hearing the voice on the player’s mic, I realized it was that same girl! I told her who I was, and tried to apologize, but she left immediately after hearing my name. I kept on messaging her, saying how sorry I was, and that I wanted to talk to her again. Even now, I’m still waiting for a response. But I’m glad you got the help you needed.
From:Kyle
As things in this life come and go, so do relationships and friendships. You have to know that and work as hard as you can on the relationships you have, but if things are one sided or there is bad communication, then its time to call it quits. You can always make new friends and you can always have a new girlfriend,