Please don't tell me that I have so much to live for, or to look at the bright side, or to seek help, I've heard it too many times already... I mean I know that the world is full of beautiful people with beautiful mind, and beautiful places and things, despite all the ugliness. And I love and hate this world so dearly, but I just don't want to be a part of it anymore. I can literally feel everyone's pain as my own and it hurts, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I just know I don't want to be here...
Have you ever thought that there might be people who really get how you feel because they feel the same way? You could talk to someone who gets your feelings. Do you have family at all? Just stop for a second and think about what the impact of what you not being here would be on them.
I'm happy to talk if you need an ear.
Hi there, It's hard to know how to advise you as I've been there too and at times its impossible to believe that you'll ever experience any joy from life.
Please don't give up on yourself, believe me when I say I understand completely how you feel. Do you have any support? If so pls confide in someone or maybe ring one of those mental health lines. I'm worried about you.
The fact that you have posted on here makes me feel you are reaching out for help and haven't entirely given up. Please be kind to yourself, this is not your fault. If this illness was a person I'd punch its lights out!
I'm thinking about you, just wish I could tell you how to feel better. X
Please post a few lines if you can Karmabean, I'd like to know you're OK. XOXO
I totally understand what you are feeling.
All I can add is that you should "feel" the pain that all who love you would feel if you left them.
I also have the love/hate view of this world, this life. I stay to try to help suffering animals and because my family would blame themselves if I took my own life.
I am so sorry for your pain and suffering, it isn't fair that the more you care the more you hurt.
Do the right thing,
Pat
Well, first of all nobody else has walked in your shoes on he same path you have; but many of us in here truly understand what you are saying. Some find a reason that fits does not mean it really is true but works for them. In my shoes on my path at one point for sometime there was nobody that I could call family who cared. The word "parents" was meaning less, never knew who the sperm donor was and as for the female who bore me; let us just say she never was a mother just gave birth to eight from various men. As for the siblings, they never really met each other. Stepfather was drunk. After having lived in foster homes, in and out of different school systems and districts there were no friends. Then in and out of a failed marriage, so pretty much alone. What was there to live for ? Who was there to live for ? Nobody was going to miss me, nobody was going to feel shame, nobody was going to even bury me. So what changed me ? I took risks that could have ended it Then one warm raining evening I went for a walk. At a red light next to me a person tried to step out in front of an oncoming car. Out of instinct I guess I grabbed that person, and pulled the person back to safety. Up out of the blue I said, " Sorry to stop you but don't use another person doing it. " That person and I walked side by side not saying a word for about one block. Neither of us knew that city. But then an older fellow stepped out of a door with a sign, he nearly bumped us. The sign had two huge letters," E A " below them it was all spelled out, " Emotions Anonymous "...meeting tonight....We went in out of the rain. That 12 Step program and the people gave meaning for me. EA became the superglue that held the Counseling Help sessions together. All I can say is try it.
Wow Bill, what an inspiring story. I have to say I agree with you about the counceling. I have one to one sessions and they are helping. I didn't even know group sessions existed, but I can see how a sense of community would help as well as having people who truly understand you.
Would this be an option for you Karmabean?
I know the impact it would have on them, I can feel it now, I can feel their grief, and it hurts, but I'm just so tired...
I don't know how much longer I can go, I'm sorry you care, it's painful to care.
Please seek help, would you call someone, the Samaritan's maybe? You need a little help. I understand the urge to just not to be here anymore, this illness swallows you whole. I do care, I choose to care about you because you deserve to be cared about Please reach out and make a call. X
Hi Karmabean, Just wondering how your doing. Hoping that the dark cloud has lifted just a little for you. 
I'm trying, there are times when the cloud goes away, but it comes back so fast... I have an appointment to see a therapist on Friday, to see if they can help me. I'm just tired... Thank you for caring though, it seems like not a lot of people do.
(((hugs)))
I know the feeling. I see a therapist. I've found it's helping. I feel stronger than I did and the negative self talk is less. It will take time but I feel more positive than I did. Of course there are still pretty bad days but I've had a couple of really good ones too, I didn't believe that was possible at the start.
Stick with it, there is some light at the end of this long dark tunnel.
I feel you lm not suicidal but I lost my will to live I'm so disconnected from this world I use to love the thoughts of all the beautiful places but reality reminded me just thoughts it annoys me here someone constantly say so much to live for That does too
I feel the exact same way...I am just so tired of it all. You are loved!
Honestly I am also tired. What is the point of all this?
We actually do nothing to contribute in a positive and helpful way to the progress of mankind
I’m aware of the age of the post.
I’m in the worst part of my life, My Mom died setting off a chain of events that has lead me here. Me & my 2 dogs are stuck living in a car, anything bad that could happen to human has happened to me already, save for death. We are officially out of income & have no one to rely on, so death is knocking on my door. I always had a death wish since I was a kid but won’t commit suicide, I don’t know why; I’m facing starvation & am just trapped here suffering.
I feel your pain. I'm so tired of the ups and downs of depression. I just dont think I want to be here anymore. I've been fighting this curse for 35 years. Medication, councillors. Just don't know what to do. Where to turn. G. P.s are hopeless. As was the psychiatrist I seen. I feel so worthless. A failure. I screw up at everything. I binge eat. I absolutely loathe myself. You'd think reading this I had carried out some heinous act on someone. I haven't! !! I just hate myself. Just want to be normal.
I feel for you I myself have a bed tosleepin but I've experience living in a car by choice and force can imagine what yougoingthrough I've been left with nothing I just still have my mother I tried praying I tried talking myself into life nothing works for me just know your not alone even though knowing it doesn't bring comfort at least it don't bring me any actually make me feel like my problems so common who cares but I guess ill sit and wait on my day to come to leave this awful place call life see you there