I need help telling my Mum about my OCD.

[nh_user_1045925]

I've had OCD since I can remember, but it started off quite innocent and was just a little quirk I had to myself. However, as I've grown up it's slowly gotten worse. Now I'm at the point where I know I really need help, but there's a lot stopping me.

I have a type of OCD that can be hidden very well, the only sign there's ever been, is that I have a pinching compulsion which can leave bruises on my neck sometimes. Except for that, no one would ever know ( and most of the time nobody notices the bruises anyway- or they think it's part of my acne) and I've never told anyone anyway.

Except for one time in high school, I told my Mum that I thought I might have OCD and she kind of laughed it off and said - I don't think so, not when your room is that messy.  I know she didn't mean anything by it, I'm a person which worries a lot and I think she was just trying to diminish my worries, also she obviously only has the basic stereotypical understanding of OCD from the media - as do most people. So I don't blame her, I know she'd be distraught if she knew that she'd brushed away something that has tortured me so much. It's kept me from ever telling her about it again and I'm 21 now and it's worse than ever.  She believes that we have control over our brains, so I know if I told her about my compulsions she would just tell me to stop, it's obviously not that easy. She's very fragile herself so I'm scared that telling her everything will upset her.

I live at home and it feels very suffocating, I would like to go the doctor or to see a therapist but that would be hard work to hide from my family. So I feel stuck as what to do - whether to try and see a therapist in secret and not tell anyone or tell my Mum but with the consequences of really upsetting her, getting some comments made that may hurt me because she doesn't understand the illness and also feeling even more suffocated by her knowing and most probably wanting to hover over me more. 

I tell my mum quite a lot - enough for her to assume that I tell her everything -she likes to say that she doesn't need to worry about me because I'd always tell her if something was wrong.  

I don't know what to do - if anyone has gone through telling their parents about OCD it would be helpful to hear. 

Sorry, this is so long and a mess - I'm just tired of thinking about it and need some help.

Thanks

[nh_user_1153094]

Hey sweety. I am a mom and have a son your age. I think that therapy is a great idea and can only help you. If you were my child as fragile as my emotions are as well I would want to know. Maybe break it gently a little at a time. Ultimately it's your decision. I hope whatever choice you make that your happy and healthy because ultimately that's what matters...xxx

[nh_user_1196096]

I have GAD and also OCD with my health, my religion and etc... I know how you feel. Maybe you should see a therapist if you can. I suggest you read this book "The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD" it's about many types of OCD maybe you feel better after reading it.