I'm a 21 year old mother to my son ever since I was 16 I had mild anxiety. When I was 18 I had a miscarriage that caused my anxiety to spiral, I developed agrophobia due to constantly thinking I would need to poo when I was out which you could imagine kept me from going anywhere without a toilet. When I was 19 I had my son my anxiety calmed right down I was happy I still had mild anxiety then I moved house and from there it all went down hill I hated going out without my partner of family members I would only go to the shop with any other person sometimes I'd have courage to walk my son around the block but that's it. Sometimes I was fine and could get in a taxi go see family etc. Then I developed intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts for me was literally the worst thing I've ever gone through in my life. It ranged from thinking I was gay, to thinking I'd harm loved ones to thinking I was a peadophile & the last, thinking I was abosolutely insane if it wasnt schizophrenia I thought I had t was bipolar or BPD. I spent atleast 6 hours a day googling why I'm like this, what I can do to stop it but I couldn't find the answers all I found was everybody else's story's how there suffering, which now I know triggered my anxiety. When I had the intrusive thoughts some were about my son I couldn't cope with them I spent all day crying waiting for his dad to come home to take over I couldn't change his nappy or look at him the same I wanted to die. This made me ring the doctors. Now I'm not saying all doctors are like this but mine were useless I explained my problems she looked at me with sympathy and sent me away with tablets. Sertraline so I thought I'd give them a try I started on 50mg after a few hours my intrusive thoughts came faster and crazier than ever I was panicking pacing round my house begging my partner to let me die because I really am a crazy person. Anyway long story short I've never looked at a tablet again because they didn't work for me! So that's when I contacted a COUNCILLOR. And let me tell you it's the BEST thing I've ever done in my whole life. Councilling for me has been a god send a miracle. I see life through different eyes. I realise I'm not crazy, I'm not all the things my thoughts were telling me I am. I'm perfectly normal. i was giving in to my anxiety letting it control me I let it steal my whole life. I learnt when I get that thought no matter how gruelling now matter how vivid it is in your head think to your self it's just a thought. BECAUSE THAT IS ALL IT IS A THOUGHT? A THOUGHT NEVER HARMED ANYBODY! I was convinced I'd be like this forever it made me want to die. I've come such a long way and I'm only into my 4th month of councilling. Don't let anxiety beat you. It can be beaten. I promise. Don't get me wrong I still have bad days but I know good days are to come. I'll never let it control me again. I'm stronger now.
Well done Niketa, unfortunately I've had plenty counselling but to no avail, I'm having to rely on the meds to get me through what is an awful period atm.
I do try the techniques I've been taught but at times the anxiety is just too strong.
Im glad your in a better place.
Hi, you have literally just wrote my situation .. I'm 22 been struggling for years I had my son at 16 and I think that's when it got worse especially the introucive thoughts. I'm currently on sterline 50mg and I hate taking them I put on a lot of weight when taking anti depressants and this makes me more stressed. I have been meaning to go councilling and never got round to it, I think after reading this I will give it ago, thank you for writing this. I am glad your much better x
Hi there niki
I have to say as a slightly older lady at 39.
I wish now that I had had counselling when I was younge but It was never given as an option I was put on prozac at 15 nearly 16 i
It's dragged on now and I'm still struggling.
So 25 years on I'm waiting for counselling.
What I'm saying is like you you've got the help whilst youre young
I hoe more young people realise there so much out there now as in help wise don't let it go on xxx
I've tried a few things over the years belive me
I am glad you've had the help you need whilst you're young do your next year's will be clearer for you.
A lovely thing of hear someone's cracked it!!
Well done xx
Vicky x
Good girl! I'm so glad to hear stories like this! Thank you for sharing it 😊
Hi Katie I have had counselling for anxiety and depression and again it's the best thing I have ever done in the 35 years of suffering like you and Niki. This winter was the best winter I have coped with in decades I'm sure it's down to my counsellor I'm still having counselling as I still need to off load stuff every week but I never feel I shouldn't be having the weekly meetings. So please go and find a lovely counsellor sometimes you have to end one lot to find someone more suitable I did and it has worked wonders. Good luck x
Thank you so much. I chose to go private with counselling as waiting for a doctor to refer me could take upto 6 month and I just really couldn't of waited that long when I so wanted to die and crawl out of my own body. It's the best thing ive ever done. Thank you!
The intrusive thoughts are awful. I googled for hours everyday why I'm like this and it was just adding fuel to the fire I honestly wanted to die I felt so much guilt towards my son. I didn't think I'd dare to do councilling but I knew I couldn't cope much longer. It also helps if you can really click and connect with your councillor. Don't get me wrong I still have days where I'm like oh god is it coming back, but my brain has been so programmed by anxiety it's just learning a new way of thinking. I enjoy life so much more now. I honestly thought anxiety was just it for me and I'd always be that way. Try it honestly it could be the best thing you do x
My mum is also on meds has been for as long as I can remember. I don't think councilling is one for all have you ever found a councillor you feel you can really connect with? Try mindfulness mediation it was hard at first for me doing it found my self getting too stressed and anxious. It can be beaten. When I was at my lowest I was convinced this was my life I'd be like this forever and my son deserves better. I took my tablets and became suicidal it makes me think what if I did go through with it? I wouldn't be here enjoying life anxiety free right now. Bad times don't last
I can't believe I'm here writing it tbh. I never thought I'd be on the road to recovery. Thank you :D
Thank you niki I will be looking inTo it asap! X
Thank you! I will be doing it now for sure x
May I ask what type of counseling you had and what techniques they gave u? I have been to countless counsellors and even though I wish I could say they helped, none have really been of any help. I don't want medication but I am running low on options
I'm doing CBT. The method she's using it to make me face all my fears head on. TBH just talking about my problems to somebody who understands was enough for me. I forced my self out to do things I was absolutely petrified to do, the more I kept at it the more my anxiety became less and less because it realised I wasn't afraid anymore. Do you mind me asking what kind of anxiety you have? Mines ranged from intrusive thoughts to thinking I can't breathe it's exhausting