Hi. So this is quite hard for me, being a male and talking openly about this sort of thing but it's maybe about time I did.
Over this last year and a half my life has changed considerably, to the point I don't recognise myself anymore. I've been under more stress than I've ever experienced, and developed a fair amount of anxiety. It all started when my ex girlfriend had me arrested for assault. I plead not guilty, and despite a number of defence witnesses and her admitting in court I didn't assault her, but tried to, I was found guilty. It turned my life upside down as I have never been in trouble with the law in my life. I left my dream job of 7 years to remove myself from her, as she worked in the same place, and I started to go out less and less. I'm now in a job i despise and feel unappreciated and uninterested. I was then threatened by a friend of her family. I also gave up a dj residency in a nightclub, which I loved, because of this.
6 months later I am then arrested for harassment, for texts I sent her when we first broke up a year earlier. I am still in court proceedings over this. The last 18months have been a nightmare. My friends have slowly become less, and I feel it's because of this, and the ones that i still have are in happy relationships. There have been 3 babies born to my friends this year, and I feel less of a connection with them than ever.
I don't feel I have anything left . It's a Saturday night, I'm alone in my room and I cried and cried. This isn't the first time. I've never felt so alone in all my life. I don't know who i am anymore. Life is so different, I just want to run away.
Hi Craig this sounds awful! My advice is to find new friends as yours don't seem there for you. Get a new hobby, go out meet new people and Definately don't stay in a job you hate! But take into consideration that if you don't deal with your depression and see a gp/counsellor every job you will hate and I say this from personal experience. Remove all off the bull**** nasty people from your life get a new phone and number and rebuild think of it as an adventure . Good luck xx
Thank you Lor, I appreciate your advice and kind wishes. Sometimes it all becomes a bit too much so it's nice to hear some lateral thoughts from someone else x
Hi Craig,
It sounds like you are having such a tough time, first thing is to realise it is natural to be feeling this way when so much is going on for you. Just realising how you are feeling and reaching out for help is the first step, the fact your on here is a big step forward to changing things!
I find writing things down is a really helpful way of getting my thoughts together. Start thinking about what you want to change and take one thing at a time in small steps. Everything must feel very overwhelming so really break things down.
There are some great online resources I've been using such as pod casts 'change ability' and Rachel rofe. They are great to listen to when I'm feeling low and useless and will actually help you think about how you want to change things!
I haven't done this myself yet but there is medication that can at least help you start to feel a bit more stable, perhaps go to the doctors and discuss how you are feeling?
I'm going on a bit now! Just realise you are not the only person out there feeling like this. We all feel trapped and scared occasionally and that's when we need to reach out to other people, read about other peoples experiences and confide in a good close friend!
Best of luck, your post has really helped me 
Hi Craig.
im so sorry that you are going through all this. Some people are not happy unless they see somebody crawling on there knees which from the way your post is written is what your ex is trying to do to you.
The best revenge for anybody who is treated this way is to hold your head up,smile and be better than ever......Your ex will hate the fact that regardless of all her trying,all her nastiness and threats,you are still standing and loving life!,
Now I know this is easier said than done but sometimes you just got to brazen it out and fake it and sometimes that fake happiness becomes real smile and real life.
I don't know what has gone on with your ex and why she feels intent in trying to ruin you but what I do know is that she is achieving what she set out to do and will be loving every moment of it! She's not the one sat at home feeling like cr*p,you are and you don't deserve to be.
I know you said your friends have moved on but that doesn't mean you can't go visit them.
Im the only singleton in all my friends and I still hang out with them and there families. My son is 18,there children are little and I love being auntie Gill to them all.
You can look at course with the lifelong learning centre,pick one that you like the sound of and because they are just one day or night a week you can choose one that fits around work. It's a great way of meeting people and even better because you are all newbies so you won't feel no different than anybody else does.
Im not sure if you have considered medication but it's always a option if your depression is severe enough to cause you worry.
We all have ups and downs which make our lives unbearable at times but there is help out there and it does get better.
We are here for you. I do hope things become brighter in your life Hun,I really do. I know the place you are at mentally,I've been there too but it won't always be that way I promise xxx
Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to my post, it means so much to know that people care.
I don't feel like this all the time, and my family are great and have been great throughout this whole ordeal but when I do get down i find it hard to open up to them. I sometimes feel that being male, you have to put on a face and be proud and manly etc. when all I want to do is hear someone say 'it will be OK'.
I try to not let it get to me as much as I used to be sometimes it's inevitable when I see people living their lives on social media and my life is standing still. My ex is very bitter and twisted and her family are not much better. I was warned when we first got together, but as they say, love is blind.
I'm just back from the gym, and have read your messages and I'm very thankful and feel good this morning, but I will take the first step and book an appointment with my GP first thing tomorrow.
I hope you all have a wonderful day.
Thanks for your kind words, again.
Craig xx