hi everyone,
ive posted on here before as i have been suffering with anxiety for some time now, a couple of weeks ago it got pretty bad again i lost my appetite and i felt pretty bad i couldnt go to work for a bit and i felt quite low, it went away after a week or two and i felt ok, my appetite was good at least. But for the past week or so it has come back again. Only this time i feel majorly down, my one supportive person has completely disowned me now he says i can talk to him when ive got over myself that its all in my head and im just looking for something to be wrong.
I cant even get myself out of my room because im so frightened of my anxiety and i feel like i just want to end everything, my head feels so weird a headache but i feel like im totally losing my mind like im going to rip my hair out. I feel so sick and nauseated. I hate even talking to people, not even my mum when she asks if im ok, i just want her to leave me alone, ive turned in to a total recluse. When i went to the doctor last time my propranolol got moved up from 10mg three times a day to 20mg three times a day. To be perfectly honest i dont feel like its really been working for a while now. Please im afraid im going to do something stupid, theres no way out because im so scared to go to the doctor.
Hi Vicky. Please don't do anything drastic, it will eventually pass, it does get better, sadly it just takes time.
First, I think you should drop that friend completely, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Second Propranolol is just a beta blocker to slow down your heart rate, it isn't strictly anxiety medicine. I've had it and I find it didn't help.
You can always talk on here, people will respond when possible. If your scared to talk to your doctor you can have online/email/ phone counselling. Talking is usually easier when it's a stranger if you can't talk to family. Just google online counselling.
I hope this helps, please don't give up. You are brave and strong even if you don't feel like you are 
The thing is this friend is the person who i work with its just us two im a painter and he is my total best friend and he is normally my rock. He the one i can completely confide in but it just seems like hes had enough which i could understand im being pretty awkward at the moment, my family is extremely close to his. Although it might seem strange he is 59 and im 20 but it works he is my dads best friend. I was at the doctors last monday and i got really uncomfortable sat in the chair talking and had a panic attack that lasted the whole day and it has been since then it has got bad again. It was only two weeks since my last episode of this but the depression wasnt half as bad.
It does make it hard that it's just the two of you. Some people can't handle others being depressed, perhaps it's because he doesn't understand what depression is, some people do genuinely think you can just get over it and that it's all in your head.
Have you tried writing down what you want to say to the GP then bringing the paper. He/She could read it while you work on keeping calm? Anxiety is a tough one to deal with.
Yes i have made sure this time i have written everything down that i want them to know.
Yes he did say that i need to pick myself up and get on with it but its alot harder than that. It takes alot to force yourself to act normally.
Have you thought about counselling? I find it really helpful, I have had depression since 2007 and anxiety since 2013.
Maybe you should change doctors that one isn't doing their job properly.
You can have phone/email counselling too
I didnt know about phone counciling, most of the time when i go to the doctor its a same day thing so its who i can get and sometimes i dont know who it is until i get there. Most of the good doctors are normally booked so ive been stuck with him a couple of times but not just lately.
I do believe counciling would be worth a shot definitely.