I'm trying to get an opinion on this, because I don't know if it's nothing or if it is actually something. I get these thoughts, at any random time, in which I feel the urge to do something that will hurt me later on. Like destroy something that means a lot to me, purely because I know how upset I will be later on. Alongside this, I sometimes (not that often) get this thing where I need to do something before I can allow myself to do something else. For example, I used to make myself stand in the dark in my bedroom for a given amount of time before I would let myself sleep. Or in a language exam, I had to read all the words in the language dictionary before I could write my answer (I fought through this one though)
Any thoughts? Is this normal or should I check it out further?
Thanks
This is obsessive compulsive behavior that is not uncommon, nor is it competely normal. You do understand that standing in the dark before going to sleep serves absolutely no purpose and is not allowing or preventing anything at all, right? Like you understand that ignoring that impulse and just going to bed is really what you should do or try replacing that strange behavior with something productive like brushing your teeth, getting clothes ready for the next day or writing in a journal.
I fully understand that these compulsions are pointless, but my mind won't rest or I can't relax until I've completed them.
This does sound like moderate OCD, common and manageable. You could benefit from prompt attention by a mental health professional (to prevent escalation and also to probe and examine the root cause etc). Untreated it is likely to escalate. Wishing you a swift resolution.