I am a heroin addict. I was in active addiction using 1 1/2- 2 grams a day intravenously.. This went on for about 5 years.. My family disowned me, I couldn't keep a job, I was living in my car with my fiancé at the time (also using). Then May of 2013 I had my first child, a beautifully perfect little boy.. He came out with slight withdraw symptoms from opiates. We left the hospital and a week later CPS calls me and tells me to come to their office and bring my son.. That day I lost custody of my one week old baby, luckily family took him. This made me spiral into severe depression and my using became much worse. I kept going to court pleading the judge to give me another chance.. After 3 months the judge gave up and granted custody to family members until I can stop using.. Again my using became much much worse and I attempted suicide multiple times. When my son was 6 months old I found out I was pregnant again. I vowed to do things differently.. I got clean before my first doctor appointment, and in September of 2014 I had my second beautifully perfect little boy.. I had to deal with CPS again due to my previous case. I did not relapse, I would be damned if I let them take another baby from me! So six months later I regained custody of my oldest son. Now my boys are 4 and 2 1/2, I'm a single mom, I work full time at a good job, and I am continuing my recovery!
Recovery is possible.. It's hard, painful, and one of he most difficult things I've ever done. But I did it and so have millions of other people!
When you decide to get clean, make sure you do it FOR YOU! Not for your family, not for friends, not for a significant other, because it won't last. One day it's just clicks and you realize you don't want to live that way anymore. When that day comes, you need to FIGHT! Don't listen to the voice telling you "maybe in a week" or "I can't deal with the withdraws" or "I can handle my using" you know those are all lies..
You are so much stronger then you think! There is incredible support for you all over the place! Reach out and I promise someone will take your hand
I really hope this message reaches someone who needs it.