Ive been like this for 2 years, and i cant see it stopping

Mental health
1

Hi, my names Nick, im 18. I dont really know how to start this. Ive struggled the last 2 and half years with what i believe is depression and anxiety. Ive been to the doctors with my parents regarding this, as well as having panic or anxiety attacks. Nothing came of that, i was referred to a place id been too before for OCD when i was younger and it was useless and horrble, so nothing happened regarding that. Since everything started, i have felt an extremely overwhelming need to be with people or a person. I dont know whether that is an affect of this or the cause. I tend to get very attached to people, to the point where all i do 24 hours a day is obsess over them and its like i cant  breathe without them. I feel very lonely.

I recently finished sixth form. When i was at sixth form things were at the their worst. I couldnt do any work whatsoever, i would leave school early most days because i couldnt deal with the anxiety at school, but then go home to a place which i could also not tolerate due to feeling extremely lonely. I feel constantly, irritated where i am, and i feel like i need to leave wherever i am, but the feeling never goes. Sometimes this feeling can be tolerated, other times it is overwhelming. I start university soon, and although i feel awful now, i have felt a lot worse in the past, and i am very worried when i start university, things will be like before.

When things have been worse, i would often lose all sense of time and surroundings, have short term memory problems, feeling like crying every second of the day, feel like lungs were going to cave in. I feel worst most of the time. In the past on numerous occations, i have gone into this trance, where i feel like im completely off my head and like i cant control what im doing.. i dont know how to describe it.

I always feel like i want to disaccosiate from my feelings and feel nothing but in the past ive felt so numb and felt so emotionless and it is worse than feeling.

There is so much more to say, but i dont know how to say it so im going to stop. I would really appreciate any advice anyone could offer me. Thanks.

2

Sorry, I know i said id stop before, but I feel like im insane and i sometimes have trouble working out whether the situation im in is real and also whether things in the past really happened, or whether ive made them up in my head. I have trouble sleeping alot of the time. 

I dont mean to burden people with my problems, i just feel like i have tried alot of things, exercise, socialising more, playing games to distract myself, trying to sleep more, going for walks, alcohol, trying to research about Psychology behind behaviours. Things help, and i sometimes feel better for short periods but i always end up back here. If anyone could help me, i would be very thankful 

3

Maybe a good idea to get an appt. with your doctor and discuss all this. You might needs some meds to help you out.

4

I agree with Lisa, go to your doctor and tell everything. You may need to go on meds to straighten yourself out. We all know that living with this is very difficult but there are other things to try, to help you through. You said you tried alcohol? Alcohol is a depressant, gives you more anxieties when it wears off.