I drink three nights a week... mostly three or four pints of strong lager. I feel that it is too much, but need it more and more, only way I can relax and stop feeling depressed for this time under the influence.. what do people here feel about the amount I consume ?
Not so much what you drink now, but where it may lead. I think you yourself are a little worried that it is going to increase.
Many people drink to relax, usually done at home, it takes away all the stress and anxiety.
Can I ask how old you are - I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're not a youngster.
So, 3 times (say, 4 pints of strong) would be 36 units per week and you should be at 14 or under.
Any idea what's causing the depression?
Hi Dawn, well since you ask it is well above recommended amounts of of alcohol. But I understand the desire to blot everything out. Trouble is, it can become addictive, such that you ahev no control over it. I would suggest talking to your doctor and seeing if help for the depression would be the best thing, so you don't continue down the alcohol drain. All the best
For ten years been on two pints of it twice a week.. that is when I lost my Mum .. had my daughter to bring up and care for my Dad.. had no friends or any one to talk to.. cos I have borderline personality disorder and can not handle friendships./// I had cut down.. to drinking it one day a week... .but at Christmas I lost the love of my life.. my Dad!!!!!!!!!!! He was and always will be my world
I have tried the doc route but her response was... that the amont I was drinking.. would not be a problem.. however as you say... it is way about safe levels.. and I want to find other ways of coping
Hi Dawn,
I agree with RHGB, the issue is not how much you are drinking now, it's that you feel it may escalate more, as it has done. I myself would love to be drinking as you are now - and at one point I was, but now I am drinking every day, over a bottle of wine - it does and will escalate. If you can nip it in the bud now you will save yourself a lot of heartache and troubles and good for you reaching out.
Are there any other coping strategies you can think of that may help you? Anything else you enjoy that can distract you from alcohol of an evening.
Thanks for reply! I know I have done well keeping it down.. but since loss of my Dad .. I feel nothing left to live for
So sorry for your loss, Dawnrainbow. That's got to be made even tougher by the BPD. May you heal soon, in the meantime, hang in there and thanks for coming to share this with us.
Are you getting good support for the BPD? Are there any comorbidities like dysthymia (I've got that one myself).
I know you say you have spoke to your doctor and he/she seems to think your drinking isn't dangerous, but perhaps counselling in respect of the passing of your dad may help. Perhaps medication may also help? Not necessarily to help in cutting down alcohol but to aid in helping you processing the loss of your father. I'm 28 years old and my dad is also my rock, I'm well aware when the time comes and he passes I will more than likely drink myself into oblivion - but there is that little nag in me that thinks, my dad wouldn't want me to do that, he wouldn't want me to become a drunk/waster/hopeless addict, he'd want me to be the best person I can be. Whether that means I seek help from other medical sources, so be it, but the answer isn't at the end of the bottle - it never is.
Need to get support for that one, Dawn. What kinds of professional support do you have?
Hi Bk522, I am on anti depressants. because of bpd. There are no counselling opportunites here that work for me. I lived with my Dad all my life, my Mum passed nearly ten years ago, I then became my Dads carere, with no support from any friends or family! I was so close to my Dad but cared for him the best I could. The hospital failed him, my anger now is focused towards them.. and myself.. for letting them care for him!!.. My mind wants to drink every day... but due to work.. that can not happen.. work is my only thing that stops this
F all really lol Gp meds
Thanks BK. I also expected the doctors reply to the OP, that is quite standard, as you are probably aware. Sounds like I was right about age as well. It is surprising what you can tell about someone from so little information.
Hello DawnRainbow,
I am so sad to know of your loss and sorrow.
My Dad died three years ago... part of me died with him.
I had been sober for 20 months, at that time... I have not been sober, since.
I think you realise the danger about your alcohol consumption. You will have checked Health Guidelines. That is always an eye-opener !
Your Mum and Dad have gone. Your Daughter has not.
Try to focus on the Present and the Future.
Have you discussed your concerns with your G.P.?
Alonangel 🎇
Dawn, google Borderline Personality Disorder UK. There are some sites, I really don't know their reputation, but they look like they're worth checking out. Do you have a CMHT on your side?
Some of the sites were Mind (dot) org, BPDWorld, Emergenceplus . Have a look about, if all you have for support is a GP, then I think you deserve rather more than that.
What antidepressant are you using? Paxil is one that lists alcohol craving as a possible side effect, though you wouldn't want to change your dose without getting your GP's blessing, even if you suspect it's a problem.
Thanks for your reply. I don't even have a Gp now lol ! My Gp has given up the practice and we have a locums filling in until a more permanent one is appointed in September. I have been refered to cmht twice in the past, but never move on from the assessment interview, due to the fact, they outwardly see I was coping, eg Caring for my Dad and working as a Carer. I told them I had no one to talk to, they said they are not just for people who are 'lonely' . When bpd is so much more complicated than that! . However I do have a few good bpd groups attached to face book. I go in and help mostly. I seldom share.. cos bpd is so complicated emotionaly that I never really know how to express myself
Hello Alonangel thank you for your reply. And sorry for your loss to. Yes I am aware of health guidlines. But right now kind of on a self destructive path/ phase, where guidelines mean very little to me, come on you know the score ? My Gp drinks more than I do, and and didn't seem concerned at the amount I drank, however I will seek help from Mind they do have a service, and I think I owe it to my Daughter to not go further down this slippery slope. But ironically it is mostly her attitude and behaviour toward me, that makes me want to drink more
you have your daughter to live for.
imagine if you had killed yourself how your Dad would feel?
​You don't have the option to "off" yourself when there are people that love you.
If drinking is a problem for YOU...than it is a problem.
​your daughter is going thru growing pains..and unfortunately....we as parents suffer for that...but that is why they are growing pains.
​Dont bring more pain to her...by hurting yourself...its a temporary solution...and brings life long problems to those that love you.