We'll I can't really remember when my depression started but it's been on and of for some 10 yrs or so to which I have always seemed to get thru but this time (since Feb/March) it's been the worst ever bout. Have been on meds since then but can honestly say I'm really struggling this time with no motivation difficulty answering the phone ( even to my own kids) horrible thoughts going thrums mind, and had some counselling but really not helping much.
ive just got to stay strong and get thru it some how, have been staying in bed when I can thinking there's no reason to get up real trouble doing things of which at one time wouldn't hesitate to do e.g cutting the grass and general tidying up of the garden etc.
im desperate to be back to my old self and be happy and having something to look forward to and smile about.
hi Malcolm, im feeling exactly the same as you, im using medication, but everything seems so useless and ive got 2 dogs but often enough i just havent got the energy to go for a walk with them. I also get these horrible thought going through my mind and i so often think of doing something but uptil now i just havent got the guts.....
So sorry to hear your feeling bad. Me too so I know exactly how your feeling. You always give such good advice on the forum I was surprised you feel so bad. It's easy for people to say go out or do something nice. Well we would if we had some motivation. Depression is a vicious circle isn't it!
I'm glad you want to be better, that does sound positive. Did you get the right type of counselling for you? I, too, had counselling several times, some which helped and some that didn't, that was just talking mostly at least that's all it seemed to be, and the last time, it seemed to be working while I was having counselling, but immediately afterwards I went back to how I was. I'm now having CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) it's for counselling what prozac was for medication and it doesn't help with everything, but that's what prozac was like, it was supposed to help with everything and, of course, it didn't help with everything. However, because it's my behaviour that's the problem (I'm a hoarder) it should help, at least I hope so. I had another form of therapy, which I paid for although I couldn't really afford to do it and that helped with my social anxiety. Eventually, if all goes well, I should be able to clear my clutter, which will lift my mood and enable me to invite people in, and hopefully I will not be depressed any more or at least only sad occasionally, being 65, widowed, with various illnesses, which do not help. I just hope I don't need another type of counselling to get there.
The trouble is, the more you do nothing, the more you feel like doing nothing. Exercise can help, some doctors actually refer their depressed patients to take exercise.
Have you been back to the doctor? I think you should. I know it's a long slog, but if you want to be happy, what choice do you have? Just giving in to it and not doing anything isn't helping, so try something else. It's all we can do.
Good luck, I'm sure your family would like to see you back to how you were too, you can get there!
ive had counselling each time I've been depressed and like other sufferers can't seem to discover what is causing it. A lot has happened over the years including my divorce after 27yrs marriage. Then firstly my dear old dad passed away then some years later my mum.
Although I never suffered from depression before my divorce I can now talk to my ex and attend family functions. So I presume it wasn't the divorce which started the first episode of my depression.
Your right that counselling does and doesn't do a lot for you sometimes and medication really doesn't help much but I think that it eases it sometimes.
Ive been back to see a psychiatrist who changed my meds but they don't seem to be doing a great deal much the same as the Prozac I was on previously. As I said its only oneself that can help and we have to stay strong and go on with life even if we don't feel like it but thanks for your reply x
I am sorry to hear you are so low. I keep going there myself and seem to have been doing this for a very long time, through various pills and counselling . I get hopeless and want to hide in bed. My most recent bout realy frightened me so I went back to my kind but ineffective GP and asked him a) to give me Efexor not a generic venlaxine , as I suspected the generi was just not working and I didn't want to increase the dose and b) to send me for a psychiatric assessment just in case a consultant was a bit better informed and up to date. I haven't seen anyone for 10 years just kept taking the tablets , reading the self help and hiding from life when I needed to. We talked about CBT and I have started a course. I have learned , or maybe accepted , one thing so far, this depression that I keep returning to is to do with how I cope with life. And I really do now have to learn a different way to do that. I thought it was another 'positive thinking' course , which I have tried and just is too hard to keep up with when I am down but CBT isn't . I don't know yet where it will lead but the approach is all about recognizing how we collaborate with negative feelings and triggers (not so much why we do it ) and facilitate the downward spiral that becomes full blown depression. Bottom line is understand this and devise new responses to arrest this learned behaviour. Its hard work and it may not seem possible for you to try just now but I just had to do something to save myself and regain some joy in living.
It's funny that you mention your dogs, my sister has a dog and just after my mum passed away some time ago my sister was depressed as she was my mums carer. At this particular time I wasn't depressed and I can remember phoning my sister who lives nr the seaside and saying to her quote! Your poor old dog probably looks up at you and says it's not my fault your depressed so please take me for a walk.
when she phoned me the next time she informed me she had started walking the dog and that the fresh air and sunshine helped a bit cause I can remember saying to her walking the dog will make you feel a little better for having done it, and that's what I've read somewhere that even if it's a little bit at a time eventually it will help.
So many people tell me that I must get out which I've tried but it doesn't make me feel any better. My appetite just disappears as well when I get low. Everything is so hard to eat. I tend to go into a bout then come out of it the same. You'd think by now this horrible illness could be cured. Oh to feel my normal self again.
Well sounds like myself I've done the walking bit and after the walk said to myself do I feel any better course I don't but maybe that's the depression talking or as I call it my demons and my appetite went, food didn't taste good life really sucked all I looked forward to was bedtime. But as I said to others that's the depression talking or again those blessed demons wanting to put me down.
Even I give in to them at times when I really can't be bothered but we must stay together and beat this horrible depression. It's a shame we can't all get together for a group chat and a nice coffee.
Well you say that but in your heart of hearts you take a look at your dogs and think i will take you for a walk and even tho you might not feel any better afterwards your dogs will and love you for it.
Don't forget we've all been there and still are but doing something is better than doing nothing and at some time you'll see what I mean so come on do it for me and all others on this site make us proud x
i was born in England, lived a long time in Holland, but Ive got such a strong feeling to spend the rest of my life in England, and no, I dont like it here