Hi,
I don’t know if I’m just too sensitive but find that OTHER people seem to set me off in a depressive state or that it’s the way I over think these things and maybe other people with higher self esteem shake it off. An incidence was summer using toilets in a church hall when I was desperate for a wee and got shouted and pushed by this old woman thus then absolutely ruining my few day holiday break, I couldn’t sleep after that for three days, got constipation and felt very low and ugly. Yesterday I asked if I could lock my bike to this old shelve unit at the florists that has been there years asked politely explained thieves are pinching from the bike rack and the owner said yes no problem while I slipped into the shop next door. Today went not on bike but noticed the rack has gone. So now I feel to blame for asking, very depressed and low life for asking in the first place, they said yes and it raised my hope in human nature now it’s gone back to rock bottom. Why are people so horrid maybe it’s me looking like a pathetic mouse. Do people set peoples depression off, they seem to me,
Hi Sue,
Sorry to hear how you're feeling. In my opinion it does sound like you're being over sensitive. You let a miserable old woman that you don't even know ruin 3 days of your life because she had a bad attitude. You did nothing wrong by using the toilet & it was none of her business. The bike thing again is you over thinking & coming to conclusions that are most likely incorrect. That would have had nothing to do with you asking to use the shelf it was most likely a coincidence. It's not other people setting off your depression it's you allowing peoples behaviour to bring you down. I know it's easier said than done because some people hate confrontation or any kind of conflict but maybe you either need to start sticking up for yourself when you feel you should or learn to let things go over your head rather than add to the stress you've already got. Some people are genuinly horrible & some are genuinly lovely. Only you can decide what you will accept & what you won't. Wish you all the best x
Thanks for your message Yasmine. I have tried sticking up for myself it makes me feel worse I guess like you say possibly they see I don’t like confrontation. I did say to the woman at the toilets a council hall is owned by the community to use and she pushed me and said f..... off I did say what a horrible person you are but then yes it ruined my one and only break all year. I think the depression has now took over how I think. The counselling I had to learn to re think things just didn’t work either.
Whoops! You encountered a despicable individual & it's unfortunate that you felt you couldn't defend yourself. CBT didn't work for me either. Are you on any meds?
No Yasmine I aren’t thanks. I tried NHS lets talk, didn’t work then went onto let’s talk for ten weeks I felt worse. I have always had low periods in my life but bounce back but it seems ongoing now. My daughter was with me at the toilet episode and she witnessed it all and also said do not speak or push my mum like that to her and said to me what you’ve said about her being a horrid person and don’t dwell on her. I think what makes the depression worse is masking it from family and friends and then crying in the shower or bed when no one is about, my daughter who lives away has no idea I’m depressed.
First thing you should do is talk to your doctor & tell them exactly how you're feeling. They can recommend medication, or different types of therapy & counselling until you find what helps you best.
It's mentally & physically draining having to pretend to be people that you're okay & all you're doing by keeping it to yourself is making yourself more ill. Even if you don't want to tell your daughter you need to have at least 1 person to confide in. Having that release of talking openly & honestly to someone will take alot of the pressure off. You need to start putting yourself first & taking care of your mental health is first priority x
Even now you replying I feel bad I hope you have someone to talk to. When Let’s Talk didn’t work I thought there must be something the matter with me for it not to. So I don’t understand how therapy works for some people and they feel better and it not for others. I believe people have their own issue and problems and so I wouldn’t want the times I see my family or hear from her be about me I rather chat about her, she wouldn’t want to hear from a grumpy person but I hear what you are saying. Other than that I don’t have anyone to confine in other than my partner who isn’t a listener anyhow
Everyone needs someone. Again you're worrying about how other people might feel when you should be worrying about yourself. Your family love you & will want to support you & make sure you're okay.
I don't know I've asked myself the same question but unfortunately it's not 1 cure for all. It's trial & error you have to do what you can to help yourself & let others help too x
Hi Sue,
I think Jasmine has said it all and I think it's great how she has spelt it out. Try to keep in mind there are a lot of nasty and insensitive people out there (should I judge)and a lot of them don't even know what they are.
Reading your post it's a crying shame ugly people upset your break.
If my car breaks down I look for a mechanic and I don't want to sound a smart "A" but can you get free professional mental health advice to perhaps insulate and protect your sensitivity? I have had mental health problems ( D&A) for 20 years so I should not be making a comment but there has got to be some professional help out there that works for you probably starting with your GP. I just hate to hear you upset.
"Stay cool"
Colin, Brisbane
I'm sensitive too and I'll probably get shot for saying this but Valium calms me down and nothing like it for me. I can remember going to the doctor 60 years ago with Mum to get her prescriptions for Valium to settle her anxiety. We had a lot of violence in our house. I faced a number of hot spots in the Middle East and North Africa that did not help my sensitivity. When you visit your GP next I suggest you ask him about Valium, it is addictive so he may not be happy. You could ask him for half a dozen 5mg just to try. One tablet under the tongue works for me within 30 minutes. I was surprised when my mental health worker said the other day her husband takes Valium and gets results like me. Don't forget see yr GP first.
Stay Cool
Regards Col
To Sue 162
I assume you saw my post re Valium I sent about 20 minutes ago as I forgot to put your name on it.
Regards Col
Hi Colin,
yes i I read your post. I will have to see the gp again thing is I’ve been so much this last year with physical ailments which mean I’ll get the designated 7 minutes nhS which isn’t long enough to discuss things really. I suppose I wanted to trying the talking therapy before meds. I have had the sensitive thing all my life so that’s hard to change especially when some people towards are genuiningly mean. A lot has got worse since my Mams death and so the trip away was a change which was ruined, speaking like that woman did to people like that I always think you’ve no idea what the person is recovering from or going through and I seriously was very ill after the episode.
You are over sensitive like me, anything you explained can set off a hurt inside that affects my daily life. I sometimes feel like retreating from all the bad things in life, I feel I would be better living without anyone around me. We have to rise above this, I know it is very difficult.
hi Ann hope you are ok. The only positive thing I think about us being sensitive like we are is we have understanding, empathy and would help others in need but that’s today some days I don’t think this it’s so up and down x I adore animals they make you feel good
You are so right, I rescued many animals over the years. I get taken for granted because I have empathy, I could quote many episodes throughout my life. I live alone now but even the men in my life were unkind and cruel. We are just too sensitive.
Hi Sue,
I like all your post and appreciate & respect sensitivity in people but not everyone is the same. I had the unfortunate experience of working for Colnel Gadaffi in the 80's and 90's and he believed generosity and sensitivity were weaknesses.
Take care Sue and stay well and 😊 Happy.
Hi Sue - the world is full of nasty people. When you think of situations like you have mentioned, reconfigure them in your mind. When the old woman shouts and pushes you, ask her if she wants to wipe your bottom next time. Imagine her face when you say that. The stunned silence. Her rapid retreat. Imagine the fun you'll have retelling the story at a dinner party. everyone laughing. As for the bike rack - you said it yourself. Thieves are pinching from the bike rack. Since you led by example, there were no bikes to pinch. So they took the rack. Yes, there are all sorts of ugliness out there. they will be like that whether we are there or not. The only control we have is how we react. Don't let them control you.
Hi Wayne,
yeah I understand where you are coming from and after events I have such great come backs that I wish I’d said but I only have them afterwards, mmm why didn’t I say this I say to myself, but the comebacks are all about control and adrenalin being kept right, that’s what people pick up on if it’s kept right then you can handle the conflict. Something I haven’t mastered yet. Like pipping your car horn too late. So like you say it’s about keeping control.