Hi iam a 22 year old male i get very bad anxiety seems be worse when i meet a new girl and i can not seem to perform cant get an errection my aniexty seems to kick in and i shake and heat beats really fast ? i have started sertraline for aniexty will this help with this problem also ?
thanks
I've been led to believe that medication only decreases 'performance'. It can affect libidio, occasionally, in the sense that you feel more interested in sex but anxiety comes because you often get nothing more simple than stage fright.
The thing is, it's something that a lot of men experience. Some men are nervous around girls; others aren't. Less confident men need an understanding woman to help them rather than make them feel guilty about it.
A lot of what it comes down to with sexual dysfunctionality is lack of compatibility - you may have your interests; she may have hers. What's important is to be able to communicate with each other about it and feel relaxed. Explain your concerns (if you have any), work out what it is that concerns you - be it your experience compared to hers is a prime example - and learn to develop confidence through actually performing the act itself.
Sex shouldn't need to be difficult but our minds tend to make it so. Hope that helps.
Yes stage fright seems to be the problem had this a long time but when i get used to person i can perform its strange ? but i was hoping that the sertraline that the docs put me on will work as i get aniexty really bad anyway so hopefully this helps with that aswell, but thanks makes sense 
Medication dont really solve the problem id say it covers but doing cbt therapy will help alot more finds the problem and then are able to cope with any situation
ok thanks what is cbt therapy?
CBT is a good idea, yes. Sex therapy is another good thing to try as well because it may help you examine moments in your life where there may have been sexual trauma involved at some point, that may subconsciously affect your 'performance;.
Both could be discussed with your GP.
I also have to commend you for your honesty in mentioning this as a lot of men out there who experience the same may feel threatened by it.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (also known by its abbreviation, CBT) is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people's difficulties, and so change the way they feel.
yh definatly i will go back to my doctors then i think
thanks paul i think i will look into that
On the other hand when it comes to CBT, the problem is it involves an individuals' approach to an environment. Jakey can do everything he wants and come out feeling more confident than ever in his abilities but that doesn't take into account his partner's attitude - and CBT cannot change that.
For instance, I could go to a therapist and explain a situation/environment (say, an argument with my fiancee). I could explain how the argument made me feel, what it did to me physically, what sort of thoughts I had and how it made me behave.
The problem is, if an argument is brewing in the future, there is nothing I can do to prevent it. I'll react differently to it, yes, but my fiancee will react the same as she always has. In any event, no future progress is made and the environment still exists.
Something like sexual dysfunction is something you should first analyse to see if the problem is you, then analyse if it is something your partner is doing wrong. If it's you, work out why with counselling and then do the CBT to analyse how you could think differently. If it's your partner, discuss it with her and see if she's open-minded to discussion. If it's both of you, seek relationship advice and one-to-one counselling for both of you.
I have been on Citalopram (which is an antidepresant for anxiety) and i have found that my libido has decreased on these tablets, especially when i first started taking them. I would research the affects of the drug you have been prescribed as it may make you worse in that way. Your doctor may be able to give you something equivalent that would afect your libido less..Worth a try good luck.xx
yes thanks boing333 i will go and speak to them and actually explaine this because i dont think they under stand the problem fully
oh okay but does Citalopram make you feel less anxtious ? i think tbh its just anxiety thing that stop it from happening because my heart starts being fast get shakey n that i dont know why because no ones ever sed anything about about me lol its just happend both times when i got in a new relationship
What does your partner think of it? What does she say to you?
its not happening atm but its just anxiety atm but thinking of it infuture if it happends again which it probably will
just telling me to get counciling through doctors
It definitly works for me yes. Without it i am much more anxious about literally everything. Its the story of my life.... I Started on 10mg as they often do to begin with to make sure you are ok on them, then theyl increase the does to 20mg which worked great for me. I have recently up'd my dose to 40mg though as iv been struggling more and my mums been recently diagnosed with terminal cancer so 20mg wasnt really working as well for me. 40mg is great now. I really recommend them. Youl feel just so much more able to deal with things if that makes sense.xx
Sorry, I'm trying to understand your situation. I think I may have been barking up the wrong tree this entire time misunderstood in thinking you had a partner.
So I'm assuming now it's happened in previous relationships and you're trying to say that you fear it happening again, and that's what stops you meeting other women?
I also had CBT jake. and it does definitly work to change the way you think and control thoughts. It didnt work as well for me as what id hoped but i think that was my therapist. We didnt really 'click'. I had 9 sessions of high intensity CBT. Your doctor can refer you but i was on a 6 year waiting list for my treatment. How about Hypnotherapy? Im going for an initial consultation soon. CBT hypnotherapy exists also. My boss and a lot of other people i know have had it for various reasons. My boss had it as she struggled terribly with major blushing of the cheeks. Ever since shes had hypno she hasnt blushed at all. It doesnt work on everyone though. That may be worth a try ....xx
yh i understand and oh no not good 
i think thats half reason lost my nan and grandad due to cancer used to live with them it wasnt nice, yh i will ask my doctor about it