I am an absolute wreck!
My pip assessment 2 weeks ago was cancelled 30 minutes before my appointment which was an absolute ordeal as I had spent the whole day in such high anxiety preparing and the days leading up gearing myself up to leave the house(I dont leave the house very often).
My rescheduled appointment was today and I was really anxious I felt like I was going to puke. I was kept waiting 45 minutes despite my partner saying it was causing me great distress I had picked my skin a lot to the point of bleeding.
I finally got in the room and the firat thing I was told was that my questionnaire abd my meds packets had been recieved but the supporting info noted on my questionnaire had not been received. I immediately went into melt down mode my eyes filled up and I just wanted to burst into tears. All the documents were sent together in the same envelope so WHY have they not received them and WHY has no one told me!? I had so much supporting info from drs, hopsital specialists, support workers, cbt therapists. I feel like now all those has been taken away from me and it put of my control. I checked so many times that the documents were all there before I sealed the envelope my partner even checked for me as I doubt myself due to my ocd. This has totally broken me. I'm sat on my kitchen floor with a bottle of wine thinking how much better of my partner would be if I just killed myself. I am nothing but a complete burden.
The worst thing is I actually tried. I really pushed myself to get all the documents together and now they are conveniently lost. I have no fight left.