My girlfriend for the last year and a half suffers from depression and anxiety from her ex dying. And 2 weeks ago she broke up with me. We got tougether about 8 months after he had passed. We were good friends before we started dating. Well his death anniversary just came up and her depression hit hard. She lost interest in her school job even going to job all of those things she loves. Then she broke up with me because she said she's not in love with me anymore. And that broke my heart. I felt pain that I didn't know existed. Because I love her so much I didn't know I could love someone like I love her. Because just 2 months ago everything was perfect we were happy living tougether. we were making plans for our lives tougether. Then just out of nowhere she dropped this on me. And I don't know what to do. She says she still wants to be friends and that she doesn't want to lose me out of her life. She said she just couldn't keep putting me through this with me walking on egg shells around her trying to make her happy. She says she time for her to grieve about her ex passing and that she needs to learn to be happy with herself and not rely on me to make her happy. She said that her breaking up with me doesn't mean there's not a chance that for us to get back together after some time. But she doesn't want me to just be waiting on her ether. She wants me relive my life and to grow. She even said to try and see other people and to find things that make me happy. She doesn't want to give me false hope on waiting for her. But she's not looking for someone else date. She's trying not to depend someone else for happiness. All of this came as shock for everyone. Her mom was confused and angry at her for leaving me. I just don't know what to do I love her so much and I want her back in my arms. I can't stop thinking bout her. I can't give up and I won't. There just has to be a way I can win her back. Because I didn't do anything wrong she told me this over and over again. Saying I was the perfect boyfriend. And that's it her not me. Even though that sounds cliche. But she said it's the truth that she needs to work on herself before she can be with anyone. I need to know what I can do to get her back. Because I know this is her anxiety and depression doing this. I just can't lose her we had planned our whole lives tougether. Can anybody give me some advice on what to do. Kuz i love her with every piece of my heart.
Yes respect her wishes and have a break. What she is doing is obviously essential for her mental health and she is showing great awareness in taking time to attend to her own needs. She is looking to grow and mature and understands that it's something she needs to do alone. She is being very straight with you and mature and you need to be as well.
If you can cope with a trial separation like she said there is a good chance you might get back together alone, but if you pursue her or refuse to understand then there is a very good chance you will lose her for good.
So be patient and don't put any pressure on her. Remember that it's not just your feelings which are important but hers also. x
Thank you for telling g me that in the back of my mind I was thinking the same thing. And hearing it from someone else makes me feel a lot better about it. I'll give it a shot and let her work through this on her own. Kuz i do love her I just want the best for her.