Positive story for those who need it right now

Sexual health
1

Okay so I thought I'd share some positive sides of this poop situation

I got diagnosed in February this year 

I got it from a scumbag who never told me his situation and decided to stay with him because I thought no one else would want me

I was severely depressed and I hated what this virus did to me I thought I'd hate it forever

But turns out I just hated what it made me do (stay with someone I didn't love)

Eventually I met someone who I just clicked with instantly and realised, I deserve more, even if this new person never wants me I still shouldn't stay with my boyfriend 

So I ended it with my boyfriend

And went on a few dates with this new boy, he was sweet charming funny and just everything a girl would want 

But I was getting closer and closer to having to tell him

I have to add before when I first got diagnosed I always said 'I will never tell anybody I have this, I'll go without having sex again' I would never 'not disclose' but I mean I wouldn't tell somebody I'd just either not date or date someone with it

Anyway I liked this guy so much and I had to tell him, it took 3 days in total and I eventually plucked up the courage I thought I can either not tell him and let him walk away or tell him and have a chance he stays however small that chance may be!

So I went with the 'it's no big deal it's just an inconvience approach' so I said 'hey I have to tell you something that happened to me, do you know what causes cold sores (I couldn't say the word herpes)' he said yes herpes

And I said 'yeah well I have that down south' told him a few risks and what have you, and he went quiet and those few seconds were days to me 

He eventually looked at me and said 'oh thank god, I thought you was going to tell me you were a man' and he held my hand thanked me for telling him and said I was stupid if I thought he would walk away but I still wanted him to research so I said research it and come back to me in 2 days

CHRIST THOSE 2 DAYS 

But eventually he text me and said 'if you still want me I want to be with you'

So yaaaaaaaay and we started dating (and still are dating) and he actually told me he spoke to some of his brothers about it (which made my heart sink but I don't blame him) and every brother said 'she's fit go for it' and he spoke to his brothers sexual health nurse girlfriend and she said 'it's no big deal go for it'

So he said he never ever had doubts about it

We have had sex protected and unprotected and so far so good

After every unprotected sex he says 'are you worried' and I say 'no sre you' and he says 'nah I don't care if I get it anymore' 

I actually met his parents for the first time yesterday and it was amazing (he's never introduced a girl to them before) so it was amazing

He's not disgusted of me, we don't talk about it anymore

And I'm super effin happy

And now I don't hate what I have 

I don't think about it

So if you're worried or sad just know that if all of this can happen to me then it definitely can happen to you 

2

Thank you for this I wasn't in the exact same situation my scumbag ex didn't tell me and I stayed with him longer than I should because I thought no one would want me. I've told one person who took it quite well but he was still really worried about it so we stoped seeing each other. This has given me hope that there is someone out there who won't be bothered and just like me for me and look past that. Thanks for sharing xx

3

Beautiful story !! 

4

Do you have type 1 or type 2? I'm curious because I think how it is explained to someone may make a difference when disclosing your status and I'm trying to decide how I should go about it. 

5

Thank you so much for this, u don't know how much hope I have now about my love life, this is so helpful and beautiful!

6

Definitely

I was actually on a Facebook group and weirdly a guy posted a pic that said 'would you date someone with herpes'

And majority said that they would and said 'don't we all have one type of it anyway' and one girl actually publically posted how she has genital herpes and she still gets plenty of people who want her 

Of course there is people out there for you

You've got to remember in life no matter what you will face rejection

Even if you didn't have this there would be someone who you want that simply doesn't want you! 

(I find older men more accepting than young boys) 

7

Thank you xx

8

I have type 2 but I never really specified which type 

I told him the risks of type 2 and everything but just said 'herpes' 

The key to doing it is acting like it's no big deal

If you go on crying and bawling you're going to scare someone off because you're making it worst than it is 

9

Definitely don't lose hope

Every friend I have that has met this has found love 

My one friend who got diagnosed 6 years ago told someone and now together engaged 5 years later with 5 children all vaginal birth and hasn't passed it on to her partner

I have another friend who is in university so prefers casual flings and she's never got denied

If someone really likes you they will want you

I know my partner has liked me for a long time and he's so genuine it's scary, dating is hard no matter what

Even if you didn't have this there will be times when someone just didn't like you

I think the problem with this is that you think you like someone SO MUCH MORE than you actually do which makes the whole rejection thing worst

Because if someone rejected me because I was fat or ugly I'd be sad but I wouldn't say my dating life was over and nor would you

All we have is an itchy down below every now and then haha

10

That's what I was thinking as well. No big deal. Thanks for the response.